Relaxin' among Life {Open}

[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar today was dreaming, dreaming of what you say? Not anything too difficult to understand of his situation, he simply dreamt of past deeds and sights. Most of them started out great and wonderful like when he was happiest. Those moments were rare and far inbetween, but regardless they were happy moments.

Then it changed, everything became familiar. Dark, Dismal, Morbid, Grim, and Cold. It was like a thunderbolt smashed it apart like hail against a thin pane of glass. He fidgeted slightly in his sleep on the ground against one of the trees kept there.

Oh yes, he was dressed in a pure white suit of all things to wear to work as a teacher. At the moment he was doing nothing and had nothing to do. It was the weekend and he had finished all necessary business. So enevitably he decided to take a nap because he was always tired. He forgot momentarily why he distrusted sleep.

His eyes closed and fingers though resting on his stomach twitched as if in response to shooting a gun. He had a blank look on his face that quickly turned grim and forboding. Now back to his dreams and what was going on in his poor mental state of mind.

He was being executed, simply put he was being dragged out to what felt like the middle of a forest. He had a bag over his head and was beaten black and blue. He was also severely outnumbered and just in too bad of a position to actually even so much as do anything, but trip forward while attempting to walk.

His arms were broken and his femur bones shattered. Even if he did survive it'd take years to heal up and then he might never walk again. He had trouble breathing, maybe a lung was punctured? His mind was foggy he could remember when, where, or how it all happened. In a moment he was put on his knees painfully, the bag taken off.

Then it seemed to all end, he heard a silent zip sound as a silenced .22 pistol took a shot into the back of his skull. He collapsed. Here's the problem, he woke up in his dream not out of it. Normally when he dreamt of dying it ended as soon as he died and he woke. This time he couldn't move and was barely conscience. He was going to die, the bullet was still in his skull and was slowly killing him.

It felt agonizingly painful, then it ended. He woke up for real with a start as he felt something hit his stomach. His forehead was matted with sweat as he wiped it off with his hand and onto the tree he was against. Then he looked down to what had hit him.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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Finally, finally -- her feet weren't human, her hands weren't clumsy. Finally, yes, yes, she ran faster, fast, giving herself to the run, to the speed, to the forbidden act as delicious as a drug pulsing under her tongue. Her heart was thrashing in her chest, commingled fear and excitement making her struggle to remain calm, to remain steady as she gave herself over the land, gave herself over to what was left of this island. She refused to admit how terrible the sand felt between her toes; refused to think of the sun that shouldn't be on her back. Refused to acknowledge the heat, sapping at her strength, forcing her to pant heavily, jaw cracked opened, tongue lolling. The Wolf wouldn't stop. Rin wouldn't stop. Not yet, when she had finally gotten this far, when she had finally found a moment to shed her fake skin, falling away from human decorum and into the feral madness of the Wolf. The desperation tasted like salt on her tongue; metal running through her veins, turning her to stone no matter that she was running, that she was a moving, breathing, living creature.

Not so much a wolf without her pack, without her home -- and she surged forward, pushing past the memories, the whispering terror of her deadly act. The girl kept remembering but the Wolf refused to give in. What weakness, girl? Give it up, we're here and we must find a way to get out. So the girl submitted, as she always did, a giving, yielding creature in comparison to the tempest of the Wolf -- the wildness uncontainable and unconstrained. Control, where was her control?

But it was too late, far too late for this, for the Wolf had gotten free, had clawed through her consciousness as painfully as it had through her flesh, tearing her clothes and running out, away from the town, away from the school, and more importantly, away from the people.

Their stench still lingered on her skin, in her fur, a contagion of corruption she ached to wash free of. The ocean crashed in her ears, a call of mourning that spoke directly to her heart and forced her to reckless speeds. Foolish speeds. She didn't care, she had to just keep going, away, away, away from the dreams, away from the nightmares, from the reality of this hell. Where was her mountains? Her trails? Her home? Where was Taro calling sweetly from the porch? Where was the wind curling in her fur and drawing her farther down the dark trodden path? What did she do that she must be alienated and sent away like a criminal? But she knew, she knew, and her heart constricted, the Wolf thrashing in the sand as her paw slipped, as sand splashed through her shoulders, sticking like grit against the contours of shoulder and neck. Restlessness didn't go away when exhaustion hit, when the loud panting of her breath overwhelmed even the keen ocean's call.

Rin was frightened of this desperation. Frightened of this island. Staring out with black, pitiless eyes, there was a burst of compassion there, a dark flame of terror that would not be easily extinguished. The Wolf agreed: this place was not meant for them. Tail swishing, paws righting itself, the black wolf ducked away from the water, turning her nose back toward the school. No longer did she run, but lope, her body falling into a regular rhythm that stilled the harsh beating of her heart. This is wrong, she thinks, ears canting back against her skull, folding down in shame. Running around like a criminal, skulking in the shadows as she darted behind buildings, crept quietly from one corner to the next. What freedom was this, but an illusion as false as a drug induced hallucination? Yet the draw toward this hit, toward this next tug of euphoria was unparalleled, and she could not give it up, though she strove to control herself. Rin, in the end, wanted nothing more than to hold back the wolf -- but the wolf was part of her in ways she didn't yet understand, a representation of her hidden, untapped potential, of the need to break away from tradition, to hold herself up proud. Yet self-consciousness and self-esteem tore down what was wolfish in her heart, made her body a battle between wills when there should be nothing but inner communion and harmony.

Shoulder hunched, the slim young wolf slithered up against one of the building in the school, trembling from exhaustion as she shuddered and attempted to ready herself for the pain. Fur receded, body contorted -- what words were there for a body that was breaking itself into another form? None, but the truth. Her hair grew in wild locks, her face emerged from the short, slender curves of her forehead and muzzle. From the wolf, emerged this equally slender young woman, shivering and naked as she reached for the clothes she had been wearing before she had impulsively shed her skin; her shirt was torn on the side, buttons loose where she had been too frustrated for delicacy. Her pants, when she slipped them on, had a long gash along her thighs where her claws had shredded them, pushing them down her hips. Crossing her arms over her chest, she crept into the library, keeping her head down in hopes that none would notice her; standing at five foot nothing, it wasn't very hard to do. So easy, Rin had grown accustomed to being overlooked -- and it was okay this way. With this secret, this terrible craving for motion, for flesh and blood coiling in her gut, it was better that eyes didn't linger long on her.

Brushing sand out of her hair with a comical look of disgust curling her lips, darkening her cat-tilted eyes, Rin lost track of her surroundings; the Wolf, usually the first to snarl at her for her idiocy was sated by the run, by the meal it had devoured, that now churned uneasily in her human stomach. Wolf disinterested in it's human counterpart, was it any wonder her natural clumsily began to show? That she, too immersed in taking sand from her hair, and from keeping her shirt from falling apart, hit the book shelf with her hip? A stack of books precariously balanced on the edge of the shelf didn't stand a chance even with such a light tap and they fell, and fell hard -- she heard a slight sound of it hitting --- her eyes widened. A person? Heart hammering, she peered around the edge, hoping to find the books on the floor harmlessly mocking her. When she saw who it was, a spurt of panic rose through her. "Ah... uhm... Sorry..." words, half-uttered stumbled out over her tongue as she crouched to pick the book off of him, embarrassed.

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word count;; 1151
tags;; Murazar, open ;3
OOC;; Ah, my muse liked your post.

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar blinked in surprise as he heard a hastily said and embarressed apology. He turned his head lightly at where it had come from, the first thoughts that went throug his head. Were something like this, What in the bloody hell is going on with a half-naked, clothing shredded, student doing near me at all?

His second reaction was more normal, he blushed and got up taking his white jacket off he handed it to her saying calmly while averting his eyes politely. " Here, now I would like a good explanation of why a student is in shredded clothing and almost naked. In a library, oh yes and your name please along with your year." His tone was obviously brooking absolutely no back-talk or refusal of anything. He couldn't be more serious than the moment called for.

He obviously was keeping her in periphreal vision, but not staring at her like some moonstruck perverted idiot of a man. He also made himself very clear he was a teacher, and a polite but stern one as well. He crossed his arms and gripped ever so gently his sleeves. He was very close to losing his temper, to him his nap no matter how bad had very much been interrupted.

He didn't like that at all, his face was contorted into a plain almost unreadable expression that seemed more calm than irritated. He looked up and kept his eyes on her eyes, his piercing stare seemed to look into her very being which even though it didn't was still unnerving usually. He rarely blinked nor seemed fazed at all now that he had control gaining over his irritation and anger of the fact of her state of disarray.

His thoughts were now occupied with what could have possibly have happened and what he should do about the current situation. At the very least if he didn't want to deal with the upper administration he'd just let this go despite his being very stern and serious, or at least as the situation warranted.

He hadn't yet identified himself, nor yet needed to. As soon as she replied he would only do so because he'd need his jacket back and so she wouldn't just call him mister or some such nonsense. He decided for the moment he would just listen to her and make sure she didn't run off or some crazy action similar to that.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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Perhaps if she had been more like Vince she would have been able to open her mouth and lie without batting an eyelash; she would have let the lie simply unroll breathlessly from her tongue and let it distract him from the obvious wrongness her presence implied. She would have, perhaps, been able to get away, slipping amidst the book shelves and disappearing. He was obviously a teacher, but she doubted her luck was so terrible that she would have him as her teacher during this particular semester. Another one, perhaps, but by then he would have forgotten her like every one else forgets her; a mist would unroll and blur her shape, blur the sharp bony angles of her personality until she was not only androgynous, but so out of focus, glimpsing her face would only further confuse the memory. It was how it usually went, this magic trick of hers, this mouse-trick to duck her head and hope her slenderness would help her evade another's wrath. Usually, it worked.

Usually she wasn't confronted with such a direct stare. She felt mildly violated by that stare, more than anything else he could have done. Shrinking back from it, she grabbed his coat quickly, her fingers burying themselves in the white cloth and pulling it toward her; the scent hit her first, fiercely, like a bullet through the head. Nostrils flaring as she held the jacket up to cover her front, Rin couldn't escape the blast that crawled up her nose, sinking deep into her brain, saturating there, sitting there, an invasion of gods, what was it? Lifting it's nose, the Wolf rose inside of her, inhaling deeply, at once amused and wary by the vaguely oceanic scent of him. He smelled of brine, of water so cold it froze over. So different from the smell of dry heat that radiated from Vince ---- I would like a good explanation of why a student is in shredded clothing and almost naked. In a library, oh yes and your name please along with your year.

Heart starting to pound thickly in her chest, Rin glanced up, feeling more like a prey caught in the corner than a predator just off the high from a hunt; but that was the tragedy of her existence, wasn't it? No matter her shape, or size, Rin was simply Rin, a girl-child forced to fit a specific, mold, forced to make herself yielding, to give way to others. Painfully shy, she remained in stunned silence as he stared at her, seemed to see through her insecurities and taunt them; the Wolf growled in her heart, defiant in the face of that stoicism, but the girl, Rin, was too spellbound to care, too frightened of doing anything, until realization made her breath catch momentarily between her lips. This secret, this impossible need to let go of human skin, that's not what they taught here -- if they found out, if they knew she was out of control, what would they do to her?

It never occurred to the poor girl that if she acted out enough they might just send her home.

Instead she frightened herself with imaginary punishments, with restrictions, with the fear of being bound in that small room, not knowing who would become her roommates, not knowing what would happen when she woke up. Fear seized her, her flighty imagination becoming more solid than the fierceness in his stare, the coldness in his demeanor. Who was he? Did it matter? Just another person snooping around, trying to find out the secret, trying to find out why she needed this so much, why she was addicted to the punishment, to the pain; why the idea of not being able to break free of this world was one of the most horrifying things to her. He reminded her of water, a deep pool of stillness; a ripple may stir the surface, but nothing affected the coldness underneath. Water had always frightened her, especially after ... after ...

Taking a quick step back, she looked away from that horrifying gaze, mumbling out through numbed lips, "Natsu .... Natsumi Say- .. uri." her gaze flicked away, taking another step back even as the wolf howled in her head, clamored for action, though she had been just recently sated. The beast was staring out from those dark eyes, a viciousness clashing with the intensity of her anxiety as they found focus on his hands, watching them. More prey than predator now; cornered like a beast, mindless, dumb. Doesn't matter. The wolf thinks, and Rin imagines that pink tongue sliding over the crest of her muzzle, anticipation dispelling her panic. "Grade 10." But why? How could she ever admit why? "There is no good reason." she mumbles and offers the coat back, though the idea of exposing herself to that cold, calculating stare is enough to make her nauseous. Just let me go, just let me go.

The wolf knows betters; the wolf grins.

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word count;; 834
tags;; Murazar ^^
OOC;; skidoosh ~ she might make a run for it >>'

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar frowned at her answer, his stare into her eyes or if she dropped her gaze they seemed to lock back on as soon as she looked up. His eyes temporarily darted right and left as if seeking something that was just out of reach. It was memory, he remembered something.

He continued his stare, he pushed the coat back to her gently but again sternly. He categorized her name and remembered it. He wouldn't forget it for at least a year, not so long as he accompanied it to her face. He also memorized the year ten. That mean't she was almost out and supposed to be getting more responsible.

His frown remained as he replied back calmly and icily. By the outside manner of himself he apparently wasn't going to let her go, nor now that he had her name and year was going to miss getting this settled one time or another if she ran. "Now, I know there may not be a good reason. Regardless, I want to know the reason. " He also seemed to add as if a afterthought, "Oh yes, dont lie to me. I will be able to see through it and I will be even more in a bad mood if you do so. If you do tell the truth and elaborate." He raised a eyebrow and made a expression to convey that he wanted details of why and for her to not leave important details out.

"Then I will more than likely just let this go and remember it, but if you do lie. " He shrugged as if it didn't matter to him, "Then i'll leave it up to the disciplinary section of the school to deal with you and I will personally make it...unpleasant."

He hesistated as if to say something worse than the word unpleasant. To a bystander it would appear that he had a very great amount of control over his speech and knew exactly what he was saying. After all he was a soldier who brooked no-nonsense when it got this troublesome. He was also a studied sociologist and psychologist, he knew easily how to detect what was going on in someones head. To top it off he was really good at it to make it worse for the young lady in front of him.

She just happened to run into the worst person to deal with lies and the best person with the truth. Even if it was absolutely horrible he might just let it go or decide to intervene and help. After all he still had to decide the rest of his life, it was miserable enough as it was. He needed to make it better or end it forever.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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None of this really mattered; not at the heart of the matter. Yes the circumstances changed, the players moved, but it was still the same dance, the same steps, the same script. The new players were fed the same lines to speak to each other, their hearts would react, filling with hatred, with frustration, perhaps with desolation; but what mattered was the stage. The lights would move, shifting from one to the next, an ever moving beam that shone, made everyone beautiful before darkness swallowed them. It was how the world worked, this constantly shifting stage, the constantly shifting people -- but the words, the words were the same. How many times did she hear the same things over and over? How many people refused to listen, refused to do anything but speak the same words, use the same language? The Wolf was laughing, panting in her heart with fangs agape, soul nearly bursting at the seams.

In this, they were one, a partnership, not a slavery, a kinship that ran deeper than bone, deeper than the succulent fat of the marrow simmering, simmering; a primal image exploded throughout her head, resounding with the crack of bone between a wolf's jaws as they licked the delight of the marrow, sucking it clean with each careful stroke of tongue. The crack reminded her of thunder, of it's distance rumbling, a reflection of the unrest in her heart. Yet the stage was set and awaiting her feet, awaiting the steps to be danced; so many choices, but they were still the same, yes, all ending in the same way -- with her beaten, the loser, while the victim took it out of her flesh.

Her elbow folded, fingers holding onto the coat again -- feeling as if the scent would come alive, would become true cold that would swallow her up; he was a fearsome enemy, for sure. In his eyes, she could glimpse a wasteland, glimpse death, and it frightened her that he would look at anyone that way. Unnerved, the girl gave in this little step, clutching the jacket to her chest, despairing of ever ridding of it, now. Drop it the wolf suggests, but Rin has a finer sense of decorum and knows his stare would remain unflinching even if she managed to give back the jacket.

Now, I know there may not be a good reason. Regardless, I want to know the reason.

[/i] a pause, like waiting for eternity as the ax fell, Don't lie to me. I will be able to see through it and I will be even more in a bad mood if you do so. If you do tell the truth and elaborate[/i] -- Rin's shoulders stiffen at his expression, pride finally making it's appearance, though it is a measly thing indeed, then I will more than likely just let this go and remember it, but if you do lie, then I'll leave it up to the disciplinary section of the school to deal with you and I will personally make it...unpleasant.[/i]

If it was even possible to destroy her composure any more fully, he would have taken God's place; she paled, blood draining away, leaving her dizzy as the Wolf snarled and raged, but leashed by the sheer force of the girl's reaction to his words. She lunges forward slightly, reaching for him, her eyes huge in her face, wide like an owl's, pupils as wide as plates expanding, expanding, trembling on the edge of hysteria. "No, don't! You can't tell anyone. Please!"

Disgusted by this display the Wolf lashes it's tail, but the girl is far too concerned with the ideas of punishment running around in her head, with being bound and chained, with being broken, one piece at a time while her soul wastes away and dies. She couldn't take it, she knew it -- she was too used to her mountains, her cabin-home. she was used to fresh air and cold winters, not stuffy little dorms on a tropical island. Rin could barely stand it now, to be confined to that room, to being possibly hurt by these people? Images of flailing limbs discomfort her as she painfully tries to ignore the rising tide of fear that instinctively comes with thoughts of water.

She's too close to him, knows it, feels it -- slightly revolted by the very non-wolf scent that rolls off of his shirt, his skin, but she can't let this go. "Please don't tell anyone, I'll---" She doesn't look at him, knowing that staring into that heartless gaze would only cause despair. He didn't care -- he just wanted her out; frankly, she didn't blame him. Yet there was a rising anger slithering through her veins, a tempest that was wholly her own and separate from the wolf's; it was a lashing anger, one that stems from fear, a madness that comes with panic, and it was coming now, hard, fast, lashing her, whipping through her body as she finally lifted her gaze, finally felt something other than weakness. Something, anything but this numbness. Lips curled in an angry sneer -- so strange on her oriental features. "Look, you know what happened. Okay? Why do you need me to say it?"

Fingers fist in the jacket as her arms tremble from the hurt, the growing rage -- she crumples the cloth in her hands, hiding behind it, but hating the need to do so.
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word count;; 910
tags;; Murazar
OOC;; nada.

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar watched her go from panicking to rage, he blinked in slight surprise at her visibly in a controlled rage. He sighed lightly and softened his gaze for a moment before whispering more to himself than her. "No I really dont know." He seemed as if to not really understand at all what she felt, he was always in control. How many times had he changed forms? A handful perhaps? Probably.

He looked back at her, focused back onto the present. It was like a snap of reality. He pushed a finger onto her forehead to emphasis what he was to say, "Listen. I have no idea how the change feels emotionall. I don't feel it at all hardly, so no I don't know how it feels. Please do not presume to tell me what I do and do not know, you have no idea what i've been through."

Despite his politeness his icy demeanor had just faded by a sliver. He seemed still like death walking on two legs, but he also seemed so screwed up that its unbelievable he could even fit in or that he'd even teach at the school. His gaze remained, although less harsh. He didn't seem changed by her emotions, but rather that one sentence she had said.

He shook the emotions away and crushed them ruthlessly under his palm. They were a distraction at the moment, he spoke carefully. "So are you telling me that you lost control, had to let the beast take over and lose everything in the moment? If so why? Why did you let yourself lose control?"

He frowned and let his finger fall as he crossed his arms again, he concluded his talking at the moment. "Now, what to do with you. I suppose I could let you go, but I am going to keep a eye on you. That and I want to talk this matter out more clearly." He paused and spoke with a finality of a anchor dropping into the ocean to hold a ship in place. "Today."

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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The pace was moving, picking up -- the threads of the script taking on a tempo she hadn't ever heard before; she was caught, struck by how quickly he could take control, could become the dominant one. It wasn't his age, for the Wolf was a creature that disregarded age. It was the one with more willpower that won, the one with confidence, the one with contained power that ruled over others. It was more than violence, it was wisdom -- and the Wolf in her skin was young and rash. She could not help but look at this dominant creature with anything but respect, with a growing submission that Rin had never felt before. There was an easiness growing in her heart that she feared.

Quickly, quickly, she tried to hold onto the anger, to feed it with embers of resentment. Remember! she hisses, trying to hold onto the quickly dissembling anger -- like a child's tantrum it was folding away only moments after it had been born. Confusion poured out in it's wake, a pressure on her forehead where he poked her -- she jumped back, startled by it, breaking free of the rest of the anger with regret as she steps away again, eyes trembling as she watches him.

Breath comes swift and steady, but as he speaks, she feels less like a player on a stage, but the heroine in a nightmare running away from the big baddie. Away, away -- like before, away from reality. Did he know what he did to her when he looked at her like this? Did he know the fear that spurted through her skull, making her jittery and nervous? The Wolf whimpered, and that made Rin more fearful than anything else.

The Wolf was her icon, her goddess, a creature at once feared and adored, loved even as she tried to keep her distance. So many times we've asked, what is she without the wolf? To this man, the way he spoke, the way he looked at her made Rin feel as if she were some unnatural thing, a new element undefined and broken. Did others not feel the way she did? Did others not know their other halves as something more than just a shape, more than just another jacket to put on their skin? To her, it had become another entity, and it resided within her heart as forcefully as it saturated her brain.

Rin fought against the instinctive submission that was melting her bones, melting her muscles into a frighteningly lethargic state. She was putty, fearful, anxious putty.

Why did you let yourself lose control? -- and she cannot help it; she laughs, the sound slipping past her closed lips, an amusement as terrible as it was maddening to her. Let her? Of course, of course, she just let herself lose control! It is her goal in life to lose control again and again, to let it tear her up inside whenever she came out of the madness, to know that she had given up on this life, to be as another. Is it so wrong? The Wolf flicks it's ears back, and there is a tenderness -- so complicated this relationship between wolf and girl.

At once vulgar and pure, they fought and ran in opposite directions, but without one to anchor the other, they truly were... nothing.

Now, what to do with you. -- oh Rin hoped there was nothing he would do! Just let her go. I suppose I could let you go, but I am going to keep a eye on you. That and I want to talk this matter out more clearly. Today. For a blinding moment she stared at him uncomprehending, head cocked in a strange imitation of the Wolf's when confronted with a puzzling situation. T-talk? Goosebumps rose along her arms, and she struggled to cover it up with the jacket, ducking her head down as she felt her heart pounding, nigh on exploding from the pressure; if he spoke any more, she did not hear it for the crashing tide she heard in her ears.

Thump, thump, thump, the music, a pattern of her heart, of her living. She still existed in the world, right? Right? She wasn't disappearing, though it felt like it; she was fine, yes, yes, fine. The Wolf looked up, but remained silent -- so frightening this silence, this acceptance. Where was the fire? The wrath? Why didn't the Wolf fight? Burdened by this, she stuttered, looking helpless and vulnerable, "T-today? B...but it's ... it's Sunday!"

She just had to slip away, just this once. It would be easy to avoid him after that -- his scent was burning her as if branding her. "C-can't we just... talk later...?" she edged away, her eyes darting to the side -- and the wolf huffed, amused by the girl's actions.

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word count;; 819
tags;; Murazar
OOC;; I'm all twitchy for her xD

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[Murazar Dauthi]

He had noticed her wanting to escape him, he guessed he really was terrifying when he wished to be. Then again that was just him at what little heart and soul he had left of himself. His creases on his face deepened, it made him appear as if she to him was disappointing.

He spoke sarcastically yet retaining a small vintage of politeness and calm, "Oh really? You want to run away now do you?" He looked over at a clock hung on a wall. About two o'clock, plenty of time left. He looked back down at her and held up a hand pointing at her, he spoke back into his calm and frigid tone.

"You have half a hour to go back to your dorm, change, and meet me at that table there." He stopped momentarily to point at one of the tables that had windows that were thick enough not to be heard in, but clear enough for sunlight. To top it off bookcases surrounding it closed off the area to make it more private and very difficult to listen in to. It also had a beeline straight to the exit/entrance so it wasn't like it was a trap or anything. Just a good quiet place to talk.

He continued, "After you arrive we will talk. Which by then I should be calmer and less irritated with your recklessness and possible endangering others lives. Hopefully by then you wont be as nervous and jumpy as you are now. If your late..." He paused, and then finished it with a lame shrug as if it didn't matter to him overally too much. "Then i'll have to let it into some of the more strict and discipline loving people I work with."

He waited and obviously wanted her to go now as he glanced at the clock and walked over to the table completely ignoring her at the moment. As soon as he reached the table he sat down somewhat relaxingly, or it appeared that way if you weren't observant enough to really notice he was tense. He seemed ready to spring and pounce on prey.

He was unlike most people and shifters a born predator. He was born to hunt, kill, fight, live on the edge, and people like her to him seemed either weak or scared of him. She didn't seem weak, just lacking self-control which he figured if he could shove into her mental state she might not get into some serious trouble. Otherwise if he couldn't help he'd contain the situation and ensure subtley that nothing overally horrible happen. Or he'd try to anyway.

At the moment he waited and watched, there was two reasons he wanted two reasons he wanted her to change clothes. One she looked ridiculously attention grabbing and needed to change so as not to have guys staring at her like dopes and girls talking behind her back and crushing her reputation. Whatever it was.

The second is because he wasn't exactly a old man and even then probably wouldn't care, he still liked women. She was pretty attractive and he had to distance himself like he normally did with people so he wouldn't break some code of conduct that he signed as a teacher.

That and the law, he was fairly sure the law would crush him. Oh, and the fact that he was probably mentally in a worse state than anyone on the campus and probably like most foxes preferred being alone unless with enjoyable company. So far she wasn't enjoyable either in terms of charm or intellect. That and she was half his age, she probably wasn't mature enough to know too much of life yet and he knew too much of death instead of life to help anyone there.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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Doubt. Uncertainty. Pain. Death. Yes, it was death which haunted her dreams, breathed down her neck and chuckled at her idiocy. There are no illusions when the person before you will not play the game, will not take the proper role; he certainly wasn't going to overlook her distress, and it only made it real to her. It only made her sad, in a little part of her heart, to know how broken she must be. How stupid she must seem; weak-minded and prey, regardless of the Wolf which patrolled the inner crevices of heart and mind. It didn't matter what the Wolf thought, what the Wolf was, for Rin, who was too scarred to see clearly, too frightened to reach out for what she needed, she was simply out of control. It was a horrible thing for her to know, to feel in her heart; painful, dark emotions blackening her mind, spreading poisonous oil throughout her body. Throb, throb, throb, instead of the steady pulse of heartbeat. It was agony, when she finally stopped running, when she finally realized how terrible this existence was: alone, and lonely -- but wasn't it her own fault?

Wasn't it her own fangs which slid around his neck like a glove? That destroyed her even as she screamed. Taro. Kimi. She couldn't remember -- refused to remember. There was only the oblique emptiness, the satisfaction of the Wolf simmering in her veins. There was only this alienation as she was splintered from her family, as they walked around her as if nails were splattered at her feet. Beware, beware, their thoughts like dust cloying in the air, suffocating her so she could not speak. Beware, she might act out. They did not give her up, but she could not let go of the pain, could not ignore the way their blood smelled of prey, the way her ears twitched at their passing, her nose flared at their presence.

....have half a hour to... all she heard as she ducked her head, as her bangs obscured the helplessness which surrounded her. She felt so young standing next to him, feeling the cold bite of his presumptions, his superiority. The Wolf yawned, knowing this, yes this was how it should be, but the girl? Rin could barely suppress the choked breath as she dropped his jacket on the chair, as she ducked around him, through the maze of aisles, feeling his scent biting at her heels. Tears burned her eyes, but she held them back, feeling her heart pounding. This isn't fair, she whimpers, inwardly, her heart contracting as she moved through the library, out the door and into the dorms.

The Wolf slept, leaving the girl hollow, empty, terrified of the darkest parts of herself. The things she wanted, the things she craved -- she could not accept her own nature, how could she expect others to? It was more than shifting, more than slipping her skin and hiding from humanity -- hiding had become habit. It was the need she was ashamed of. The control which slipped out of her desperate hands at the slightest provocation. A woman could look at her irritated, and the Wolf would rise and snap it's fangs. The day could stretch out for eternity, and the Wolf would lunge forward and force her to change, to run, to escape what was wrong with her heart. She was the escape, the forbidden drug, the ultimate weapon which had become commonplace. What strength was left, when all she did was run straight into the arms of the Wolf? These are the things which plagued her mind as she ran up the stairs, ignoring the bewildered looks as her hair went flying behind her -- arms clutched before her, she slammed closed her own door and fell headlong into the softness of her bed, feeling the weakness overwhelm her. Tears squeezed out, but she tried, Rin tried so hard -- harder than anyone could imagine -- to keep them in check, to hold them back even as they betrayed her. As she betrayed herself. "What's wrong with me?" and she laughs, a wretched, despairing sound as she gathers herself, knees up to her chest, face buried in her pillow. What need was there to cry? What she knew now, she had known before.

Sniffling, wiping her eyes, Rin tried to gather herself, tried to bring back what little strength she could muster. The anger was ashes, the Wolf slept and slept. She was alone, and suddenly so exposed; dragging herself to the closet she threw her ripped jeans into a growing pile of ruined clothes, trading them for a pair of loose khakis; gone the shirt which had so worried her upon removal. The buttons were a disaster and her lips curled up slightly at the edges as she ran her fingers over them, thinking, thinking, and like the shirt which slipped from her fingers, she let the thoughts go, leaves swept away by wind. Though it was rather warm, she still slid a hoodie over her white tank top, coiling her hair over one shoulder.

No point in looking in the mirror, Rin pocketed her keys and walked as if she were heading toward death, a terrible numbness sinking it's fangs into her spine and spreading out, out, out. It reminded her of his scent, that icy, salty bite; she thought, for a moment, what she smelled like to him. Then it didn't matter as her fingers reached for the door of the library and her mind went blank, her eyes reflecting the hollowness she felt as she wove her way through aisles of shelves. Without thinking, instinctively following the path she had already walked, Rin only paused when she caught sight of him, when his scent tickled her nose and forced her to acknowledge her own stupidity. She had gotten caught, again. But instead of Vince, who only laughed at her embarrassment, there was this man, who saw through it all to the heart of the matter. Like a cub, she lashed out blindly, not realizing how harmful she truly could be.

Yet as she drew out the chair, as she sat down quietly, folding her hands in her hoodie pocket, head tilted slightly to the left as if she were listening for things most don't try to listen for, she realized her biggest weakness. Yes, yes, lifting her dark almond eyes, Rin realized that without the Wolf, in only her skin, as she was now, calm and human she was dead. It was only when the Wolf ripped through her mind and her clothes, that she felt suddenly, vibrantly, alive.

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word count;; 1171
tags;; Mura
OOC;; This made me a little sad ._.

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar only got up once to retrieve his coat with a sigh, he didn't put it on but instead just tossed it over his shoulder as he retook his seat. He didn't move a muscle in his tenseness remained. He still seemed like death itself in two shoes and dressed in a fine suit.

As soon as she arrived he almost breathed a sigh of release that she was better when he looked into her eyes. Her eyes weren't glimmering of emotion, instead they were lifeless and dull. He closed his eyes for a moment before speaking and reopening them. He was calmer and now not quite as cold. He seemed more curious and concerned now, although that chilly exterior remained as if like a buffer to prevent anything from getting to him.

"Now then, we're going to figure out how to solve this dilemma. First I need you to tell me whats going on in your head. What is the other side of you like, and whats happening. I can guess fairly accurately whats going on, but it would be better if you told me whats going on. I can't fix what I don't know is broken."

Murazar clasped his hands together and held them together like you would trying to hold a rope to save your life. He could tell that there was two personalities or rather her fighting the wolf. For one reason or another she had given up and just took a place under the wolf and let it rule when it wanted to.

He didn't like that, he had come to work side-by-side his fox. Until after he had smelt, seen, and killed so many people along with the horrid things that accompanied it that he had lost the inner fox. It had vanished somehow, he lost everything that accompanied it. To top it off his sense of smell was almost non-existant except for familiar smells like sulphor or corpses.

He felt like he should at least remember what it was like, but he didn't he had no idea how it felt to be one with the fox and fight alongside them. He had been dead on the inside for so long it was like dry kindle for a fire that just happened to have been lit once before, but just slowly died out completely.

He figured he could at least try to either A: help this girl come to terms with herself. Or B: stabilize the situation and prevent others from getting hurt.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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Revolting, disgusting, this habit, this greed, this utter need to debase herself again and again; to strip her clothes -- it didn't matter where she was. When the urge struck, she couldn't fight it, could escape it. Not for long, not for long at all -- and at home? Home was a spiteful word she spoke only to hurt herself. These men, these women, these brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles were nothing to her -- but she clung to them still, hording memories before the Wolf came and destroyed her life. Before the Wolf came and made her into something other, something beautiful and feral. The Wolf made something of the middlest daughter, took that normalcy, that plainness and carved out of her flesh something vicious, something feral and wild. She made the girl a predator, gave her the ability to run faster than her two feet could carry her, gave her the ability to sing more powerfully than her sisters, than her mother: a beautiful sound of the heart. She howled, when she could, listened the distant echoes of her voice expanding, expanding, carried it over into the other shape -- she sung when she could, hearing the sound of it reverberating in her very soul. She was unique, she was something. The Wolf was nighttime pleasures, feral madness, blood lust pounding in the ears. The wolf was emotion, terrible, forbidden emotion; the wolf was power. Extraordinary and untapped.

Yet to those who did not know the beauty of the wild, the Wolf was a monster, she was violent and unstable. She attacked without provocation, gave in to whim with whole hearted delight. She was the tempest -- unbroken and untouchable, unconstrained and uncontainable. A storm, howling in the ears --- and what was the middlest girl in comparison to that? Haunted by a deed she does not remember, but by a primal satiation that she can never forget, the girl is changing, changing, losing bits and pieces of her humanity to the wolf. She has no control, for her awe and fear of the wolf is bigger than her fear of family and home.

The Pack had abandoned her. What was home when there was no safety? When the term outsiders applied to every single person? There is no ease in the wolf, but strength. So she debases herself, gives in when the whim strikes, unable to deny the hit, the drug offered, the path carved out before her eyes: I will take care of you. -- and though the wolf is young, to her, to Rin who had been ostracized and bullied, and ignored, the wolf was wise. There was something so certain about the Wolf that she could not attain -- there was so much life, so much color that splashed across her vision, her world turning into something magical and perfect.

But now, sitting across from him, yes, him, the enemy, the antagonist, the evil that slithered forward and wrapped it's coils about her throat -- she felt her lips move of their own volition, felt the sneer curl up the corner of her lip. Help her? How could he help her? His stare felt a violation exposing the cracks in her armor -- a thing she strove to hide with the frumpy look she adopted: thick cloth thickened around her neck as she sank back against the chair, against the heaviness of her hoodie. Warmth slid over her skin, but the Wolf was still gone, as if it were a dream that had never happened. Was she mad, then? But no, no, he was asking her about her, asking, inquiring, interrogating. He wanted to help her, so he said, but Rin had her doubts -- and they danced across her eyes, hardening the stony, pitiless black of iris and pupil. Distrust was a powerful emotion and it scythed between them like a knife, cutting away any warmth she might have felt for him.

It was a dirty thing she did, losing control over and over, unable to hold onto this human skin without feeling lonely, disconnected from reality. This was becoming the dream, the deadness of eternity between brief, fiery moments of wholeness when the Wolf destroyed her body and became another. "There's not much to tell." she says, distrust evident in her eyes, poignant in the undercurrent of resentment that threaded through her voice. "You say you want to help me, but you're just like everyone else. I'm just someone you have to check up on before writing off your list, right? You have to make sure everyone else is safe from the big bad wolf, and then chain me down like a dog." she ground her jaw together, pressing her back hard against the chair, fingers fisting together in frustration.

Turning her head slightly to the side, she looked to the right of where he was sitting, focusing her gaze on a piece of paper that had been dropped by some oblivious student. Feeling the emptiness expanding outward, she mumbled, "I just hate this island."

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word count;; 846
tags;; Murazar
OOC;; skidoosh ~

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar sighed lightly and leaned back, the predator-likeness he held never vanished for a moment. He noticed that distrust, not just in her words or tone. It was the eyes that gave it away first, he wasn't surprised. No one trusted him, who could trust someone who had killed so many people he no longer could count?

He thought for a moment after his ears picked up the apparent commented hate of the island. He figured she had to be one of the pack animals, a smaller one, mammal though. About fox...size...Wolf? Was his first thought, his gut and instincts told him it was that. He decided to not second-guess himself.

He spoke softly, his concern still held as was his calm. The iciness had faded into the curiousness. He still was distant, as if just out of reach, but he was no longer like a freezing wind hitting you everytime he spoke. " I can only help if your willing and want to take the help. If not theres nothing I can do. Right now I barely care just enough that if you don't try to fix this dilemma I will take preventive measures. Not everyone here is a predator, most are prey."

He spoke as if to him he wouldn't be around long enough to care, but just out of morals and ethics that barely were existing in him said to keep them somewhat safe. He spoke again before she could reply, "However, unlike anyone else you've probably had try to help you. I will not chain the wolf up, you will still be with the wolf. From what I can see is your subservient to it, the problem is you need to be the wolf's equal. Not its servant. If that is done, the problem is solved. For the most part, anyway."

Wasn't that amazing he actually had a solution which in the end was horrid. All it was, was to have a equal standing with the beast within. At least that was his guess from what little information he was reading off of her. He had to of course improvise and see if he was right. If not he could try a different approach. Regardless he did want to help, this was like a project to see if he wasn't just completely death, but something that could live and not live as a walking corpse and shadow of what he was.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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How to describe this feeling that was coming up slowly on her -- it was beyond the reach of numbness, this flare of something that brightened her vision, made her heart quicken. She didn't understand it, watching him with his scent in her nose, in her hair, plastering on her skin as if it would never go away. Rin was here, and he was here, but it was as if the world was slowly grounding to a halt, the gears that had ceaselessly churned without her consent, suddenly coming to a rolling, ponderous stop. He had this power that she envied -- it didn't matter his history, his icy personality. None of it mattered the longer she remained in his presence; it was all folding away, falling away like old skin.

Who he was in the past was unimportant, what he did, equally so. To her, to this girl who had never laid eyes on him before, he was a fresh slate, a fresh start -- and though she distrusted him, she distrusted the emotion he evoked with his words. What was this brightening? This awakening? Her skin felt cold, dead; the Wolf was slumbering. What was there to life without her family, without her home? With only this wretched island that sun round and round, surrounded her with the sound of mourning, the sound of the waves crashing ceaselessly on the shore. She was that shore, constantly pounded, constantly barraged, broken, scarred. But the waves? Were they her pain, her confusion? Or were they the wolf's fangs come to mark itself on her skin?

Was it too late to stop the branding? She was becoming a dark person, losing her grip on the light-hearted child she had been. Not too long ago, she had been able to laugh and sing without worry -- but now, yes, yes, now, sixteen and frightened of what she was becoming, what she was losing to the wolf, even though the Wolf was offering such a great prize. Freedom, away from the pain, but the cost was a steep one and it made her heart clench. But this feeling was growing, spreading out so slowly she was almost unaware of it -- so small this seedling, this little root cracking through the wall she had put up on her soul. The flower will rise through the heavy blanket of ice and snow -- it will, it will, regardless of weight, regardless of weather. Eventually the strength of the earth rising up, up, and thrusts itself through the shimmering quiet of deathly winter.

Would he be her winter then? Her eyes flicked to look at him sideways, though she could not make her face him entirely; lingering on his eyes, on the ice there, the numbness, the seeming eternity that watched her back, she felt unnerved. He was indeed that deep pool she had imagined; she could poke and stir him and it would take months for him to show a hint of reaction. He was hidden. He was locked behind a control she was both repulsed by and attracted to.

But he hurt her with his words, harshly spoken though his voice seemed to have lightened, though his eyes stopped looking through her and simply at her. He was waiting for something, some sort of acknowledgment of her existence, of his own existence, and though she ached to reach out, to be taken care of, she still feared it. The Wolf rolled over in it's sleep, sleepy more soundly than Rin had ever been able to for the past three years. It was a difficult time for her, though she was the monster, though it was her that they feared.

To have no one look her in the eyes? She had grown accustomed to being overlooked, to being glanced over in a dismissive fashion; this man would have done it too, she was certain of it. If she hadn't brought herself to his attention. If it wasn't for one little red string which bound their fingers together, she wouldn't have even registered on the deep level of his consciousness. Just another student, another hopeless, spiteful student sitting at the edges of class, ready to jump out of the seat without even listening. She would have been deaf to him, and he would have been blind to her.

Yet here they were, sitting across from each other, his eyes provoking the growing hunger, the growing need, feeding it with his dismissive, almost haughty way. Pride had made her come, she tried to tell herself, though it was evident she was beaten down by her submissiveness. She had come because he had told her to; so in the end, was there anything worth salving? Not everyone here is a predator, most are prey.

[/i] Her chin rises, pivoting back toward him even as he continued, However, unlike anyone else you've probably had try to help you. I will not chain the wolf up, you will still be with the wolf. From what I can see is your subservient to it, the problem is you need to be the wolf's equal. Not its servant. If that is done, the problem is solved. For the most part, anyway.[/i]

Pain stabbed her as she raised her hurt gaze toward him, feeling the flare of that unnameable emotion, that molten hot emotion beginning to crack through her numbness. What was this, that she must react to such scolding? That she could feel this... this... hope unfurling it's branches inside of her, slithering through her very veins so slowly. Could she dare to hope? Could she bear to stamp it out? "I .... I wouldn't eat them." she says, her voice struggling to be sarcastic, to be strong, please, please, be strong! There was tremor in her voice, a tremble on her lip as her tongue became clumsy, as fire crawled behind her eyes, heralding the approach of tears she fought back. "What do you think I am that I would eat other people?"

Rin's left hand flies up to her face, rubbing at her eyes as she mumbles almost incoherently, "I'm not like that. I just... I..." she gasps a little, struggle with this unfathomable faith that was coursing through her like alcohol. "I run, until I drop. We need to run, away from here, away from it all." and once she's started her tongue moves of it's own volition and the tears soak into her sleeve as she hides behind her wrist, ashamed and horrified, "I can't stand being like this, always treated differently because of what I am, who I am." she sniffs slightly, and tries not to think of the icy scent that commingles with the scent of her laundry detergent. "I just want to be like her." she whispers, shoulders rounded as she hunches over. Was it so wrong to want to be strong? To be someone who can look in their enemy's faces and not care for the hurt? To be able to spit back instead of cower away? She was a fragile girl, caught in a rolling wheel, spinning down a hill without any idea how to stop it. Who's fault was it, really?
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word count;; 1200
tags;; Teach ~ !
OOC;; I'm so glad I stole this thread from Marc xD

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar paused a few moments to analyze her, he decided to take a two pronged sort of assault. One silent the other broad. He needed information and he needed to convince her of needing help. She seemed on the verge of admitting at the last she needed it. She only needed to be faced with truth that she was ignoring too readily.

He spoke softly and quietly, his words this time would hit like a hammer no matter how he put it. " You might not eat them, then again your not in control of yourself are you? The wolf in you is. The wolf is a predator, what if she decides running not good enough and decides to start hunting? What then? You can't stop her as you are right now, your too weak. You need to earn power and respect."

He kept his voice soft spoken, but calm and strong. The look in his eyes was still distant and cold, however it wasn't hostile. It was sort of a comforting cold, it was something like when you fell asleep in a snow storm after your body froze enough it eventually was comfortable. It was like a trap to give up, except for the fact he was offering to earn her power through her honestly and honorably with respect from the wolf.

He spoke again as she cried he picked up his coat and rolled it up into a creased ball and held it out for her to cry in. He smiled softly, she really seemed like what he was way back when he was a little younger than her. He had broken down like that before he got stronger, although his had came at a price. Nearly his sanity and his way of thinking was the price. That and probably being alone forever to top the notch off.

" Listen, I went through what you have. Although mines worse, at the least you aren't alone. You have someone to confide in, you just need to earn their respect. I can help with that. Then you will be their equal, they might even look up to you sometimes."

He emphasized her being looked up to. He was also being sincere with every word. He was a good manipulater, mainly because the truth worked just as well as a lie if worded right. This didn't needed to be worded any different than the simple truth.

So far his instinctual guesses based on analyization were correct. She was a wolf shifter, she didn't like loneliness, and the wolf in her was in total control over almost every aspect of her personality and power. She needed that power from the wolf. He would make her his project, something constructual to do after his years of destruction.