too.c l o s e.to{myself}and>suffocate> //// luke

[Natsumi Sayuri]

She was bleeding, slowly, so slowly -- drip....drip....drip.... each little bit of blood slipping down the white of her arm as she stared at it, watched it with those black thoughtless eyes. What went on beyond the barrier, the border, the lie? She smiles, her head, tilting back against the wall, feeling that slow surge of life pushing forward, always, always, struggling through a body that rejected the life it grasped at so painfully. What was the point? What was this life of constant doubt, constantly shifting, no, no, constantly changing from one point to the next?

Yesterday, she shed her doubts and ran wild; today, she was submerged in the pain of her human psyche, leaving the world behind with each morbid drip of that blood slowing rising from the cut on her arm; so funny, this little joke, this little bit of masochism come knocking on her door. The Wolf paced the corridors of her mind, it's nose to the ground, knowing the scent of blood, luxuriating in the freedom, but it was Rin who made herself bleed; it was Rin, yes, this terrible, tangible girl who held the shifted fangs to her forearm and watched the blood well to the surface. No pain but the mild sting, no worries but the slow, steady pulse as the blood rose to her bidding, slipping over the side of her thin, twig-like arm.

What strength was left? She had given it all, and lost it all -- a gambler that was too intoxicated with the big-win to see the failure looming over her shoulder, whispering in her ear. Death merely wanted the end of her life -- it did not care for her as she had imagined. Dimitri did not want what was beneath this skin, only the surface, only the doll which stared out with hostile eyes, black and crazed by the stench of the Wolf in his own skin. In the end, Rin was nothing but a whore, seeking a scent that didn't truly exist; she wanted to find in him something that had never been and never would -- but there was still that draw, that attraction of danger as he drew her closer and closer with each circle she walked around him. It didn't matter how many times she evaded him, eventually she would be caught, and the beast she provoked would have nothing of beastly thoughts -- it would be the human she poked from slumber, and it was the human who would hurt her the most. Yet here she was again, touching herself again in that painful, sly way she had: one finger running over the puncture wounds and smearing the red over her skin.

There was something beautiful about this; there was something so wrong with it all.

Her voice rose up through her lips -- a little lullaby sung so prettily with her husky voice, thrumming through her body as if the sound itself would create life; she was a singer by nature, and yet when had she ever truly sung here? So the first blood was released, the cherry popped, the deed done and she sang and sang, a humble little sound, quickly whisking her away on the current of her dreams.

How could she ever explain? To be honest in words, to express the deepest wishes in her heart? She didn't want to be simply free -- she wanted to be released from the cage of loneliness, from the struggle of fighting an evil that she relied on; she ached, with everything in her heart, to be stable -- but whenever she was on the verge of standing again, she remembered life without the Wolf, remembered the loneliness which pulsed deeper than flesh in a place that she could soothe and calm. Rin remembered the emptiness of imperfection and sprawled back down on the floor again, hoping to stall the moment she would be forced to decide, forced to see.

The air smelled like salt water and wood rot, but she could not bear to be parted from her den; she laid on the bed, her head tilted to the side, fingers playing with the edges of her hair as she remained so still, so terribly, terribly still; if she didn't move would she become a stone, a statue that no one noticed but to smile slightly at the sound of her voice? Was that all she was? One voice screaming out among millions?

She remembered his words, forgive yourself

[/b] -- it was an accident -- but what did he know? Her heart becoming heavy, she curled up, knees drawn up to her chest as she thought in her dreary languor -- her thoughts slurring together unhurriedly: she was in a trance of depression, of nostalgia and for once, caught in the trap of laziness. She did not want to move, could not find enough reason to get up from her bed and live -- so she played the part of death and remained in this silent, empty room; remained when the stench of seaweed and sand and burning salt water brought to her vivid images of drowning, of hands holding her down -- and now, yes, now that glimpse, that touch of hands pulling her up, cradling her face. Live, live, live -- and she had lived, had grabbed onto that light and found herself looking upon life itself, to see it etched in pale skin, paler hair and blue eyes. Fingers clenching, Rin bolted upright, sitting up so fast her hair lifted up and whipped forward.

Anger licked up her face -- she was imperfect, full of flaws and weaknesses, but she was too proud to admit these things aloud. Yet he had spoken of them as if it were his right --as if ... as if he was the only one who could ever tell her these things. She snarls then, her lips lifting up to bare her teeth, so strange an expression on a human face, and stands. No, no, why him, why now? Anger feeds anger, a cycle that makes the platform grow, and growing, lifts her up to soar when she would have been depressed and morose in the bottommost well of despair.

There is no time -- she scrambles into her jeans, and throws on a random t-shirt before slipping out the door, shivering as she tip-toes around the giant hole in the hall. No students should be in the building, but she did not have it in her heart to abandon it. But there is no time for that -- her thoughts invert and slip in the a different direction, locking on the one -- the anger rising, rising, feeding itself because without it, she would cry, and she had had enough of crying in front of him, especially him.

Rin walks as if there is no other purpose but this walking, this directionless trekking through the campus as she raises her face slightly and sniffs, searching for the scent, looking, desperate almost, unwillingly, almost, for the one full of cat musk and male, for the one that smelled of dappled leaves and sunlight; it isn't long before she crosses old paths, follows and finds new ones, before she is seeing his patterns etched in the scent that he leaves behind with each breath. Closer, closer to the answers she seeks -- so close, as the scent becomes alive, as she feels the very warmth in it; her heart accelerates but she does not think about why -- there is only him, only Luke that she fills her head with -- he must answer her, these questions that are swirling around. Answer her -- why does he care? Why does he keep pushing? Why, why, why? She is not perfect --- she is overbearing and terrible; she is unwanted and ignored -- but he is always there, always looking at her when she is speaking. Why?

The anger falls apart when she needs it -- but there is determination that is stiffening her spine as she enters the lounge, as her eyes lock onto his back -- as she comes closer, like a creature finding the prey, finally, finally: the hunger will be assuaged the moment her fangs pierce into it's body, taking it's life for her own. Finally, finally, the hunger for appreciation, for need, for simple existence and loneliness will be undone the moment he looked at her again. Look at me -- she does not realize she is thinking so possessively. Only me, only me -- "Why?" she asks, demands, realizing belatedly how stupid she will be sounding. [/color][/size]

word count;; 1440
tags;; Ollie-of-the-Luke-variety.
OOC;; 1. This was written around 3 pm this afternoon but Rin was struck down by paralyzing migraine and could not get on til now. 2. Rin-the-character is so stupid. 3. Posting with Luke is ridiculously fun. 4. Muse has eaten up Slow Bleed by TFK and Changes by 3DD. ^//////^ 5. As per usual, I spell check but am way too lazy (and at this moment sick/dizzy) to proof read like I used to.

[/size][/blockquote]

[Luke Bowers]

* LUKE ( OLIVER ) BOWERS ,

The lounge was a place Luke liked to hang out at. Like was referring to a place he had been to the most, besides his dorm room. Normally he was just walking around for no reason at all. He couldn’t understand how people managed to have fun with most of the stuff they did. Then again, he wasn’t the biggest on shopping or going out and playing games at an arcade. He probably wouldn’t admit it, but he spent half of his days trying to figure out how he could possibly make Rin fully trust him. He seemed to be doing an okay job, but he still didn’t feel like she completely trusted him yet. Actually she had pretty much said that to him herself. Those hours of thinking never really did him any good though, because he never came up with any ideas.

It wasn’t as if his visits with Rin were planned anyways. She just showed up to talk to him, or rather, sit with him for awhile whenever she wanted to. Very rarely did he ever go looking for her, because he had a hard time actually finding her. He could smell her, but there were also so many other scents as well. He also didn’t usually feel like walking all over the school until he met up with her. Besides that, if she didn’t want to talk to him, she wasn’t going to. And if she didn’t want to hang out with him, she wasn’t going to. That’s why he just let her come to him. It wasn’t as if he was ever too busy anyways. Mostly he had nobody to talk to and nothing to do. Except classes, when they were in session.

Earlier he had managed to run into that kid that had been in his room before the hurricane. He was still in one piece at least. But he hadn’t changed either, as far as being annoying went. He had housed up in the cafeteria with a lot of other kids and said the hurricane hadn’t even been as bad as he thought it would be. As far as being inside went – the outside didn’t look very good at all. The dorm building looked like one of the worst buildings after it was over with. A lot of things had happened to it while they were in it. And that time they were in there felt like eternity. He hadn’t had a sense of time since it started. Who knows what time it was even when Rin had shown up.

He had just come from the cafeteria, so he was walking around with a bag of gummy worms from the vending machine in one hand and orange juice in the other. The lounge was mostly empty again. He had visited it earlier that day and there wasn’t really anybody there. Mostly it consisted of furniture to sit on and some tables. And there was a coffee table and pictures decorated the walls. Even though it didn’t have somebody in there to keep it under control like the library did, it was typically quiet when he visited. People talked louder than they did in the library, but it wasn’t too bad. He heard someone enter as he placed his drink and gummy worms on the table, but he didn’t bother to turn around. There wasn’t much of a chance that the person that entered the room was looking for him. Or even knew who he was.

Even without turning around, he knew who it was when she spoke. He wasn’t sure if it was just because he recognized her voice or if it was just the way she talked to him. How many times did she start a greeting with hi? Not very many, if any at all. Not that he honestly cared. Saying hi almost was leading yourself in a trap. Following a hi was usually how are you doing? Then possibly asking them what they’ve been doing lately. That was a horrible habit to get into. Sometimes he cared about how someone was doing – he always seemed to care about how Rin was doing and same with Heidi. But rarely did he care about what they were doing, because usually it was nothing interesting. And that’s how their reply was too. Short, but not sweet. ”Why what?” he asked, turning around to face her. Well he couldn’t exactly classify the look on her face as happy to see him. But he told himself she was all the same to make himself feel better.

”I’m not sure if we ended a conversation before and now you’re continuing it, but I’m lost.” He generally had an idea of what she might be talking about, but he couldn’t say for sure. It was just a general area he could choose from and with her it was hard to tell. ”Gummy worms?” He gestured to the bag behind him. It was the least he could do.

tagged , Rin!
words , 830
lyrics , run this town - jay-z
muse , I think the job drained it, but I was motivated by not wanting to make you wait.
notes , I admit some of this was forced, but it was generally what I was planning to post before anyways I think. I didn’t injure it, though. Promise. Also I admit I ranted A LOT. Sorry, lol.
credit , rora @ hos

[/color][/center][/font]

[Natsumi Sayuri]

There are dark thoughts swirling under her skin; they rise like leviathans from the ubiquitous depths of her soul and writhe upon reaching the surface -- questions, doubts, longing, desire. It pulses a staccato rhythm against her temples, thumping thumping, ripples in her eyesight. Does she see red? No, no she sees only Luke, only the blue in his eyes, only the beat lurking beneath the skin. She is at once amorphous and very, very real. Fey thoughts clash with her physicality, sending her into a murky turmoil.

She has spoken, demanded, wanting -- reaching for what? Who knows? Who cares? As long as at the end there is something in her hand, something she can touch, she can know -- it does not matter what it is she has won, as long as it is a victory. Abandoned by anger, forced into awkwardness by a singular determination that makes her wish to disappear, Rin has left herself in a broken shape, her eyes blinking black as she stares almost uncomprehendingly at him. She spoke -- but why did she sound so alien to her own ears? Was this her voice that reached out to him?

Were these her thoughts? Or did she only imagine that she felt the things that stirred under the dark waters of her consciousness? Did she only think that her emotions were haunted by creatures with big black eyes and flashing, metal teeth? Or were they more real than she would ever be? Rin aches inside, feeling the concentric throbbing circling outward, spiraling outward, starting in the morbid sound of her heart and reverberating, echoing back in her fingertips, her knees, her toes.

Dare she twitch? Why what? He speaks and the world stops turning, the throbbing ceases, the pain dissipates as if it is fearful of his voice, of the tones that are uttered over the smoothness of tongue against tooth. She starts forward, her muscles cramping together as if the sudden release of the emotional gives her a physical light headedness; perhaps she can fly, after all. Confusion banished, turmoil destroyed with a simple touch of his eyes on hers, and Rin is, once again, at a loss for words. Why? -- why can he do this to her? Why does she calm? Why does she fear something so perfectly tranquil?

Lashing out at this unease that is slithering through doubts, she glances sideways, always conscious of those around her; they are but canon fodder, always. The Wolf is restless, rising up to pace in the corridors of her mind, sniffing at the wind, tail raised in challenge. Yes, her thoughts are plunging from one extreme to the other, unable to find that balance, and the Wolf is salivating, for it dearly loves a show, a flair, a little bit of explosive emotion to ride the air, to goad others into equal amounts of inconsolable frenzy.

There is no storm. There is no lurking beast. Only solemn eyes cast in almond shapes; there is only Rin with this noxious feeling of poison clinging to her skin, polluting her thoughts against herself. ”I’m not sure if we ended a conversation before and now you’re continuing it, but I’m lost.

[/i] Her eyes slide back, but there is a glint there, a darkness that is wholly Rin, without the fire of the wolf. Here, is coldness, indifference -- she is detaching herself as fiercely as she can, fearful of the attraction, of the trust that is lingering between one admirably quaint phrase, and the next kindness: Gummy worms?[/i] Lip curls, she shakes her head, as if speech has been stolen from her.

But she will not be defeated, not by her own uselessness -- wrapped in armor, quelling under the righteousness of her falsified delusions, Rin crosses her arms (a habit she has tried to adapt from watching others) and says, "I want to know why you want my trust. It's not normal. Or right. It--it's--" ah, ah, she's floundering already! Jaw clenching, eyelids flickering, Rin spits out, "It's weird. There's no reason why you should care. At all. Did Murazar send you to look after me or something?" her tone drips contempt, but the moment she says it, she cannot help the pinch of regret that seizes her the moment the words left her mouth.

Must she push him away? Rin wants nothing more than to hold fiercely onto him, to make him stay -- even in hatred, in spite, in anything at all, as long as he was there, looking at her, watching her, meeting her gaze when she spoke. But these are the words which are pouring out of her mouth, as if a demon has decided to speak, and it now paraded as Rin: "Tell me why. What's in it for you? Why are you doing this?"

Rin cannot help the niggling little worm of hurt that cracks open the abyss just a little further, nor can she help the spiteful surge of relish that comes with her own languid, hazy punishment. With ease, she opens and reopens her emotional wounds, in love with the pain, for it reminds her of her most sinful trait: daring to be lonely. [/color][/size]

word count;; 869
tags;; Ollie
OOC;; Post sucks, but I like it so much more than what I had first written. So yay! ^-^

[/size][/blockquote]

[Luke Bowers]

* LUKE ( OLIVER ) BOWERS ,

Well she didn’t answer right away, but he did get one from her. It didn’t really bother him that she passed him up on his offer for gummy worms. He wasn’t even sure if she liked them. It was hard enough keeping up with her, let alone what she liked to eat or drink. Luke wasn’t even sure how many people went through the trouble of remember things so specific about other people anyways. She crossed her arms, almost as if he was trying to avoid the question. But it was actually the opposite. He couldn’t answer a question he didn’t fully understand. She seemed to change that around for him, though. Luke shrugged slightly, slightly offended that she would think something like that.

”Why should I have anything to do with Murazar? I had him as a teacher, but that’s it. I wouldn’t waste my time doing stuff for him.”It was harsh he guessed, but true. And there was no way he would fake being somebody’s friend, especially to benefit someone else. Even more, it would have been for someone he didn’t even care for. ”Besides, I’m a weird person. So it’s common for weird stuff to be associated with me.” So common that it wasn’t even weird anymore. It was just natural. He wasn’t sure what her real intentions were. Was she really suspicious of him? Or perhaps she didn’t want to be his friend after all.

Luke watched as a girl passed by and left the lounge and then sighed and looked back towards Rin. ”What’s in it for me is friendship. As far as I can tell, it’s nothing more and nothing less. I know it may be strange and suspicious to you, but you will just have to get used to it.” It would have been strange for him if he had been in her position and someone else was in his. He would think there was something up too, so he could understand that. They said actions speak louder than words, which is why the only thing he could really think to do was act like a friend. Luke shoved his hands in his pockets. ”If that isn’t what you want, then you should be clearer about it.” As if running away wasn’t clear enough.

”If I remember correctly, you actually came to me that first night we met in the library. So you started all of this.” That was when he had found some sort of emotional attraction to her. It had almost been ruined the same night they had met, but he guessed there had to be some reason it wasn’t. Kind of like fate maybe. Or just some luck, if there was such a thing. He reached down and picked up one of the gummy worms. ”I could really ask you the same thing. You’re really hesitant to tell me anything, but you keep coming back to me, don’t you?” He unconsciously pulled the worm in half and tossed part of it into his mouth. ”Personally I don’t want to be alone in this world either.” And he didn't think she did either.

tagged , Rin!
words , 539
lyrics , run this town - jay-z
muse ,
notes , Short, but not all that sweet. Hope you can go off this.
credit , rora @ hos

[/color][/center][/font]

[Natsumi Sayuri]

This is a moment suspended by the puppet strings of her fate: she believes nothing in her words, has nothing in her heart but the contracting, seizing hurt of a girl trying to push the very things she wants as far from her as possible. She is dangerous, no, no, it is he that is dangerous -- with those clever blue eyes, that subtle cunning that slips around her arms, her waist, her legs, tightening, tightening, squeezing out the emotion in little bits of tempered pain. She is without purpose, seeing him, hearing him. What does he want? For her to shout at him, to scream and stamp her feet? Does he want to see her unravel, to hold onto that anger so pulsing and sweet on her tongue, to seek his life, the very essence she treasured? There was nothing here for her to do, and yet he is right, so fucking right: she keeps coming back.

Why, why, -- why are the thoughts that are spinning, spinning, slipping out of her fingers and burying in her heart, squirming away from the reaching calamity of her reason. Rin must understand, or she will never have peace. Disastrous Rin, thrown away like trash, must find a reason to have him by her -- a reason for why he looks at her, acknowledges her, even, yes, maybe even likes her as a person, not as a tool, not as a little pawn to be scooched to the side to be devoured. How could this be? The most simple minded person coming to a halt in the face of all this complexity: she is once again uncomprehending as he talks, and talks, his words bashing against the metal of her defenses. They crumble to dust, but still the little barbs had made their mark: she is full of bruises, weaker now.

Luke is moving as he talks, so conniving and hateful this easy way with words he has: he moves his hands, his voice is calm, eyes flicking to the side to watch passerby; but they do not matter though she is hyper aware of them. Though she can feel them pressing in on her skin. No, no, no the insanity is there, a veritable touch licking her skin, panting hot breath in her ear: was she nothing but a bitch in heat, scampering after anything that scented of brutal desire? Her fingers are clenches, arms moving -- she cannot be still, cannot hold herself in this one little position of power: everything crumbles as he speaks, but the more she listens, the more the anger is rising. The more the Wolf is panting laughter, it's hackles raised in delirious glee. The Blood lust is nothing to this strange emotion that is moving through her: unnamed, it slips like restless nostalgia, breathing, living, existing in her skin. She is the epitome of fire, slithering, flickering in and out of existence. This moment she is burning, so hot at the tip, her eyes so black, so deep there seems to be no end.

Perhaps he does not want to fight -- perhaps he is trying to soothe her, to bring her down to a level to which she can be shoved and nudged in the right direction, but Rin is sick of being manipulated. She is sick and weary of being told things, to do things, to be nudged in one direction without knowing with clarity that it is her, and her alone which wills her feet to walk the path. Fate has come to call, and it is her clarion yell that is screaming in her ears, reverberating in the angst and suffering in her heart. Is she stuck on this road, this path that had been placed before her? No, no, she rips free of this feeling, biting and tearing free of the obnoxious tendrils of spider webs which cling to her body, warping the already distorted future before her: but there is only Luke. She smiles, but there is nothing pretty in it. The guilt is gone, the anger is fueled, circling, the predator which sniffs and moans, which bares it's throat only to that which can roll it onto it's back.

Yet there are only his words in a language she can only half grasp -- a touch of language that is an echo of a milk-tongue she can hold on her tongue, but it is far away. An echo of a lifetime that is blurred by all that is hot and fiery and angry. She is aflame, her skin is flushing, her heart hammering it's staccato rhythm against the cage of her breast: If I remember correctly, you actually came to me that first night we met in the library. So you started all of this. I could really ask you the same thing. You’re really hesitant to tell me anything, but you keep coming back to me, don’t you? There is the slightest pause as she snarls, her lips curling back and all that is non-human is lurking in her face. Anger, hatred -- finally, the resentment: trying to tie her down with guilt. Manipulative bastard. Holding onto her, seeking to subdue her -- friendship was it? What was this friendship worth to her?

The laughter is full of glee as it snakes through her bones: the Wolf is stalking her body, leaving it's heavy-handed footprints to sink deep into her subconscious. The broken girl has risen up with claws and fangs at her disposal. The girl who wanted him, wanted the stability, wanted anything at all that would mean she had somewhere to go, a pack to call home -- she threw it all away, knowing, hating herself more fiercely than she could pretend to hate him. Was this all a lie? She feared the path she was leading: feared the steps she was walking where they led to him.

Wrong, wrong, wrong -- had she been able to follow Murazar because she had not felt herself losing? Did she follow because she knew she must, and not simply because one look told her to do so? It was different, with Luke. He didn't need to know this. Her rage is fueled by fear -- fueled by lonely bitter nights, and memories of drowning. It is fed with the remembered taste of a brother's tears and blood, with the lullaby of a sister's scream, and the grief of a destroyed mother. She had broken what was never supposed to be broken: by what right was she supposed to be happy?

By what right did she pretend to find happiness, and spurn it the moment she has found it again? "What the hell do you know?" she hisses her eyes shifting -- darker currents still part of that ineffable flame consuming her, becoming one with her. She is the midst of a frenzy and it will not let it out of her grasp as she takes a few steps forward. Why, why? She fears she may cry. So she growls, that darkness of the Wolf melding with the grief of the girl -- hatred, so deep, so conflicting as her almond shaped eyes narrow, as she tilts her head to stare at him. Height makes no difference. She is without peer -- of course.

So long, sentiment: she destroys the brilliant happiness she has built amidst the chaos of their relationship, breaking it apart with her fingers for fear of what it might become: for what she might become the longer she remains here. "You listen to me, you follow me, you let me hang around you -- but you never ask. Like a dog you wait for a bone to be thrown!" such horrible words, such pain that she inflicts on herself even as the eyes which reflect this pain harden: she must hide it. He had saved her life. She cannot forgive him. Personally I don’t want to be alone in this world either.

[/i]" Rin's breath hisses out from between her lips as if she is burned by his words -- she raises her hand as if she is unaware of what she is doing.

It doesn't matter now. the Wolf is on it's back, feet up in the air as it squirms, jaws parted, eyes glazed over with delight over the pain of this meeting: what a whore. Teeth flash, fur bristles: doubly so for wanting to finish what has only begun. There is no point in milking it -- but she cannot leave, cannot force herself to push him away and storm off. Rin's face had averted the moment he had spoken those words, so painful a blow given in such a voice: Personally I don’t want to be alone in this world either.

-----------and Rin breaks every belief she had ever put her hopes in, "I hate that you make me feel this way." Her lip curls at the end in an ugly turn, "Weak. Needy. Broken." The rest of the sentence go unuttered, Happy.

Rin is alone in the rising heat, scorched by her own wildfire. [/color][/size]

word count;; 1516
tags;; Ollie
OOC;; it took a while to find the right music but yay! XD Celldweller rocks my socks. lol

[/size][/blockquote]

[Luke Bowers]

* LUKE ( OLIVER ) BOWERS ,

It was hard to tell what kind of response he was really going to get. Usually it wasn’t all that great of one, but he didn’t want to assume. He smirked, but shrugged as she asked him what he knew. Maybe something, but maybe nothing. Luke couldn’t admit out loud to how much time he had actually spent trying to figure her out. It was way more than what was healthy for the average person. The only way he had really ever gotten anywhere was when she came out and told him stuff. But it always required a lot of thinking, because when he tried to talk about it more, she decided she no longer wanted to talk about it. He listened as she spoke again – about things he guessed she wasn’t used to.

Harsh words indeed, causing him to flinch. There was some truth in them that was for sure. Luke sighed and sat down on the arm of a chair, dropping the bag onto the table. ”I ask about stuff all the time. I’m just never sure whether you even want to answer and I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to.” Of course he always forgot that if she didn’t want to answer, she wasn’t going to. She was good at not doing stuff she didn’t want to do, wasn’t she? He was trying to keep his voice down some so that people wouldn’t overhear. Because a lot of people at the school liked getting into other people’s business and the last thing he wanted were rumors spreading around.

”What do you want me to do? Are you just looking for a reason to push me away? Because if you don’t want me around, then just say it.” He didn’t honestly believe that she didn’t want him around, though. Luke also wasn’t so sure that if she told him to leave her alone, that he would be able to stay away completely. Not now. He ran a hand through his hair – he could feel the sweat from his skin. It wasn’t something he was expecting. Obviously it had gotten hot in the room. Probably because he was worried she would get mad at him and walk off. Her next statement surprised him and it was hard to keep it off his face. He tilted his head up towards her and almost felt sorry after she spoke.

”I’m sorry. That isn’t how I meant to make you feel.” It wasn’t like any of it was planned. He hadn’t planned to meet her at the library or feel like he had to be her friend; she was pretty much his only friend, if that’s what they were. ”I just want you to feel –“ he paused as he tried to think of the word to explain it ”-wanted, I guess. Like you’re important. But I suppose I’m not succeeding at that.” Weak, needy, broken. That definitely wasn’t signs of feeling wanted or important, was it? Maybe he was doing something wrong, and he only thought he was actually doing what he wanted to do.

He bit his lip as he thought back to the night of the hurricane. That was an adventure of its own and not a night he wanted to remember too often. ”Are you feeling okay? I mean after all of that stuff that happened to you on the night of the hurricane.” She hadn’t been in the best condition when she showed up to his room, let alone after they had been forced from his room pretty much. She appeared to be okay at least from where he was at, but it wasn’t like he could just take off her shirt and check.

tagged , Rin
words , 622
lyrics , run this town - jay-z
notes , Finallyy.
credit , rora @ hos

[/color][/center][/font]

[Natsumi Sayuri]

There is nothing left to say, nothing left to do, but to watch, to listen, to feel -- yes, hear that imaginative little bit of noise in the corner of the room, no, no, not the corner, it is under the skin, deeper than the flesh, yes, yes, hear it? Do you feel it? There, that little bit of pain, piercing through her as if she were but a ghost. This sensation of falling, this little thread of her life pulled so strongly, so tautly and twisted, corrupted by the malevolence of her own desires, her own insanity, is what she hears, what she feels tingling on the edges of her consciousness. Rin has snapped; her soul is wrung dry of sin, but she is left with the dirt in her hands. Rin is left with nothing but the remains of the ashes of her own cremation as the fire inside of her is raging faster and brighter.

Nothing can stop it -- this sound of the heart breaking, the war in her mind which has come to a dead stop. To silence, which is no silence at all, but a depth of breath and death that lingers even after it has dissolved. Rin's mouth is filled with the taste of metal -- her tongue is brimming over with the foul taste of tannins rumbling over the contours of muscle and mire, herself an extension that can never be fully recognized. She is the wart to be removed by foul means. The disease to be eradicated.

Was he to be the host, to sustain her, to keep her alive while she sucked away the rest of his life? Would she become vampire, then? Demon, then? Her hands are twisting, fingers trembling with the hated uselessness which is wringing them into knots; he knew the words to say, and she hated him for it. Despised him -- felt the depth of her resentment and loathing slip over to nudge that flair of metal to life. No, to laughter, to a self-hatred so fine she feels as if she is intoxicated by the very smell of it on her skin. Saturated, waiting, terrified, anxious -- she is shifting, always, always, revolving around the heart, around the need, the vexation, the desire to at once give in to him, and to push him away, to take what she would have taken, had they not been who they were. There is the cat underneath his skin, and she feels it's eyes on her, but it is nothing to the fire, to the heat, to the fright that is nipping at her heels.

Rin must act, or fall from stress; so she reacts without thinking, destroys everything with her hands balled into fists, her lips turned upward in a sneer. He is shrugging as if it does not matter; he is speaking, always, always, and her ears, god damn them, are turning, as if they could stretch forward and physically wrestle the words from his mouth. As if, as if, yes, god damnit speak it, little girl, tell the the thing you have so secretly clung to.

Loneliness sews her lips against the rising tide of need, of the desperation to throw herself at his feet and become the dog, the wolf without pride, the creature without any sort of esteem but that which comes with each stroke of a hand on her head. She would willingly fall into this, if it would wrestle her free of these binds. What Rin would give to finally be at peace, to not be afflicted by such emotions -- but she does not recognize the need in her for what it was: the obsession with the emotion, the little bit of desire which forces her to feel, that forces her to linger when it was so easy to simply forget, to let go -- ah, gods, we've come back to it, haven't we? We've circled round and round, and she is left with him staring at her, keeping his voice down -- was he ashamed? She does not cringe; her back is straighter than it was, her chin tilted up -- she wanted to react, wants to jump forward -- to give in to whim and do whatever comes to her mind: she is too frightened of herself to pin the action down. Instead, she chucks it away and dances on the edges of her toes, her body quivering, shivering, desiring but ashamed of it. I’m sorry. That isn’t how I meant to make you feel. I just want you to feel,

[/b] a pause that lasted for eternity as she lurched forward a step, her eyes wide, wanting, wanting, gods -- what did she even want to hear? What could he possibly say that could give her what she wanted? wanted, I guess. Like you’re important. But I suppose I’m not succeeding at that.

Gods, gods, Rin felt the feral need to rip, to rend, to tear; that ancient keening of a woman on the verge of grief so intense she could do nothing but self-harm. Do nothing but rip at her own clothes, tear at her hair, run her fingers so hard down her face she bled and bled; but Rin was motionless, caught of these needs, reacting like a base creature caught in the head lights. Are you feeling okay? I mean after all of that stuff that happened to you on the night of the hurricane.

No ---------- she cannot bear it anymore. This kindness, this pitying; it was so much part of who they had become together, so completely woven in the basest parts of their consciousness that Rin felt herself giving in when she would never had with someone else. Pack -- such fierce loyalty from a Wolf who should not care. I'm lonely, she thinks, her eyes brimming over with the edges of tears, watery and horrible. So lonely.... so...lonely...

The Wolf howls loud and long; the fire rises up over her head, but there is no heat which can warm the cold knot of loneliness in her heart, seeded in the very pit where chambers cross and humans used to reside. Are you feeling okay?[/b] -- is that all she wanted? All she ever needed? She falls apart, her shoulders dropping, her energy gone, gone, gone -- is this what she had wanted to hear? To feel? Not wanted, never wanted, for such a thing is easy to manipulate, but seen, known, cared for? Dimitri wanted her body, wanted the very heat she was half-afraid of. But what did Luke want? Why make her feel wanted and important? Why make her feel anything at all? Better numbness, than this confusion. "I'm okay." He had saved her life, but she can only speak to the floor as her knees give out and she falls into a crouch, her elbows on the cap, her face buried in the palms of her hands. "No, no, I'm not okay. I don't know what's wrong with me." but that was such a usual thing for her to say -- how terrible that this, this had become common.

Would the world die if she woke up one day utterly happy? Or was it her fate to be constantly bothered by doubts and nips of terror riding her heels, slipping cold hands over her shoulders. "I'm still scared." she is shivering, speaking to the floor, unable to look up at him, unable to be mad at him. It was never him she had been angry at in the first place -- for once, there are no tears.

Instead, the damage is eternal as she becomes ashes, a corpse consumed by fire. [/color][/size]

word count;; 1285
tags;; Ollie
OOC;; excitement! Muse-music: Inside the Fire, Disturbed. x3

[/size][/blockquote]

[Luke Bowers]

* LUKE ( OLIVER ) BOWERS ,

Luke kind of figured life would always be crazy in some form or another. But he just wished every now and then it would get calm for a bit. Where he could relax and just be. Just for a bit – where he wouldn’t have to worry about much of anything. Of course he didn’t regret knowing Rin or all of the stuff that he had to go through with her. It was a challenge, but he still cared about her. It was a complicated situation, and sometimes she asked him questions he didn’t even understand. Why did he care about her so much? This question he hadn’t even fully answered to himself yet. He had his own theories, but somehow they didn’t seem to complete the answer.

Just as she said she was okay, she fell to the floor. He leaned forward, almost out of habit to catch her, but held back as she crouched along the floor. Luke kneeled beside her and put his arm around her in a, hopefully, comforting hug. ”Who are you comparing yourself to? Everyone has something wrong with them.” Well in his opinion they did. He didn’t know anybody who didn’t have something wrong with them, no matter how big or small it was. Though some people were better at hiding it than others, but hiding it never made it go away. Sometimes there wasn’t anything you to do to get rid of your problems. He knew that much from experience.

”You know it’s perfectly okay to be scared.” Everyone got scared of something; some people just tried to hide it like others did with their problems. He made himself comfortable on the floor beside her. ”I think it would be healthy if we took a trip over to the other island. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been on this island way too long. It’s unhealthy.” He said this in a light-hearted tone, somewhat joking. But it was the truth all the same. They needed to get out, to go do something fun. Or anything but stay in that school and on that island. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done anything in town. When was the last time he had even eaten out or gone to an arcade?

It was kind of strange to think about, since he hadn’t done it in such a long time. He hadn’t been to a theater since he was probably ten years old. Even just walking around on the other island was better than nothing. He didn’t know what Rin did in her spare time, but his wasn’t much different from when he was hanging around her. Minus the hurricane stuff that happened. Diving after someone who fell through the floor wasn’t a common thing for him to do. ”I think we would both feel a little better if we just got out of here for a bit.”

[/blockquote]

tagged , Rin!
words , 484
lyrics , run this town - jay-z
notes , Wish my full muse would come back. D:
credit , rora @ hos

[/color][/center][/font]

[Natsumi Sayuri]

There was a weight to his arm that had nothing to do with the physicality of his closeness. It was the expectations, the emotions that poured in through that pressure and into the cold knot in her heart. The fire burned her, but here there was silence. Here, with his voice so quiet, he spoke as if trying to comfort a frightened animal, as if by coaxing it slowly with the warmth in his voice, slipping into the darkest corners of it's fear, he would gain a trust that would be without end.

--------- but Luke already owned it, claimed it, held it tight in his hands, the reins of her attraction, the source of her confusion. Didn't he know? Could he ever possibly know? This was a trust that had been given almost without her will, as if laid at his feet as a sacrifice, a blessing to be made, a puppy to be picked up and cared for. Wasn't this why she felt so frightened? Why she was so unnerved by the shade of his eyes, by the way he seemed to see into her and through? He couldn't, possibly -- but it did not mean she could dismiss it. Fear had knotted painfully, pulsing, pulsing, breaking out in a rhythm she had grown used to; pounding began to throb through her ears, to rush through the slim shells of her ears. Fingers twitched as she lifted her head up ever so slightly, as her almond shaped eyes, those black, black eyes lifted up, wanting to meet his, but not daring to do so. Always, he was taking care of her; when would she return the favor? When would her strength be used for him?

Was this, the, the source of it all? Or was she too full of convictions and contradictions to be able to be at peace, no matter the cause. He secretly ached for a peacefulness that would never come if he remained by her side, and she, stupid girl, wanted only to terrorize what she did not understand. Could he ever give her an answer, or would she be forced to find it in herself? Would she be forced to look deeper under the flaws, hidden in the heat and the frigid center; would Rin ever be able to see past everything she hated about herself, was terrified of herself, and see that there was a sweetness there that rose every once in a while? That there was goodness here, though it was stuck amidst the shadows of her own corruption.

No longer pure. Never pure. The Wolf had come and lit the fires, and the girl had burned to ash, leaving only the waking demon in the wake. The one who lived was neither wolf nor woman but a combination of both that was slowly, so slowly, taking over the body. Eventually, she would have no room for sweetness, for thoughts of confusion. Soon she would be devastating, stringing along those who came to her, smiling so wickedly, loving the cold and the heat in turns. But right now, in the midst of this slow metamorphosis there was only Rin, who wanted to be human, who wanted to have to Wolf at her side forever, who wanted so many contrasting things she could never get her hands on it. And there was the Wolf. The very Wolf which pitched up a whine in her throat, slipping over the contours of Rin's throat and tongue. It was a soft keening, a whimper as the grief struck her face. Leaning against Luke, she nodded, laughing at herself.

You know it’s perfectly okay to be scared. Her eyes flash, her spine stiffens; ah, the weight of that arm! The feeling of kinship, of something, yes that undefinable something that tempered her rage as water in the forge. Would it dissipate amidst the scorching heat, or would it douse the flames of her anger? She did not know, did not care to know -- her eyes lifted, lips drawn tight in a thin line, "It's not okay to be scared." but she was mumbling slightly, offended that he could say such a thing to her, to one who was so proud of her strength.

But it was all forgotten the moment he said the magical words: I think we would both feel a little better if we just got out of here for a bit. Oh whim! What a thing you are to such a girl; one moment festering over the internal wounds, the next brightening, her eyes clearing up and almost glowing with pleasure. Even the Wolf was purring, rolling onto it's side with delight; yes, yes, off this god damned island. Away from these people, these borders. Maybe, maybe she'll be able to get away; she could not swim it, but perhaps... perhaps there was a way.

Purpose gave her strength, direction made her confident; her easy smile came and stayed, that little curve of over-importance, that strength of bearing. Yes, yes, purpose, this little bit of adventure. She was smiling at him, so slyly, so thoughtfully. "I like that idea a lot." she says, forgiving him so instantly for saying such awful words. You know it’s perfectly okay to be scared. No, no it wasn't -- but the moment was flitting away on swift wings, leaving her here with thoughts of rebellion and adventure, with adrenaline and power on her mind. She ignored how utterly dependent she was on him; how quickly he had managed to change her mood, to lift her up into a cloud of pleasure. Standing up swiftly, she grabbed hold of the arm which had draped over her shoulder and tugged him up, a pleased, satiated look on her face that did not seem to be disappearing any time soon. "Come on, let's go see where we wanna go. Please? Come." She did not realize the change, poor creature -- so proud, and yet for him, so willing to ask, to cajole, instead of force. Rin was in a state of change, and the slightest provocation would decide in which direction it would go.

It was those around her, and her own securities which would decide which path she walked, what, this wretched, darling girl, would become. Now, it was checked, momentarily blinded by the light of her happiness; Rin, in the forefront, with the Wolf at her shoulder, that darker, nefarious self hidden under selfish whims and anger. So close to the surface, she never realized the danger. Never realized that what was hunting her, was herself.

Rin's fingers slid down to around Luke's wrist and tugged slightly, "Where do you want to go?I've never been to the other island before. It's probably as bad as here, but ... you never know." She flashed that smile, parts condescending, but mostly pure unadulterated bliss.

[/size]

word count;; 1147
tags;; Ollie-monster!
OOC;; So Rin obviously underestimated her capacity for sleep. But still! Here ya go. Rin did a complete 180 -__- sorry! XD

[/size][/blockquote]

[Luke Bowers]

* LUKE ( OLIVER ) BOWERS ,

Why should he be surprised that she finds it offensive for him to tell her it was okay to be afraid? She obviously didn’t want to be subjected to those things that could affect everyone else. No matter how common it was or how natural. It was hard to comfort someone who so often appeared to not want comforting. Someone who thought they weren’t deserving of it. Luke obviously had a different opinion of that, but it was hard sharing it with her. He was fine talking to her, but once he tried to console her about something, it was almost like everything he had built up before that started all over again. It was a bar that could never stay up. It rose and fell with ease, but could never hold itself up.

He had almost spoken up again after she disagreed with it being okay to be scared. However, after his suggestion of getting out of there, she seemed to brighten up more than he had ever seen before. ”I like that idea a lot.” Luke looked at her surprisingly. ”Yeah?” He hadn’t even expected her to agree with him, despite the fact that he was the one that had thrown the idea out there. But even without expecting it, he had still thought it was a good idea. He was in the school more than anywhere else, but what he really wanted was off the island for a bit. Almost for good, really. But he still had a little while to go before that could happen.

Luke couldn’t help but to smile when he saw her smiling. It was strange almost, but he really liked it. Sadly, however, he didn’t think it was going to happen often. But even once was better than none. Before he knew what was happening, she was standing up and trying to pull him up with her. He got to his feet, more than happy to follow since she actually appeared to be excited about doing something. Obviously neither of them knew what. With her next comment, she stated that she had never been to the other island. He felt another tug at his wrist and followed almost instantly. ”Um… I don’t know. That’s a good question. I’m not sure what there is to do over there, but I’m sure if we walk around for a bit then we’ll find something, right?”

The only bad thing was not having the freedom of shifting, but bad things seemed to happen sometimes when they did that. So it was probably good that they couldn’t really do that over there. Besides having to stash their clothes somewhere, it wasn’t very common to see a wolf and a Jaguar on an island, let alone where the people were. And it would be odd seeing two animals like that following each other and not even trying to attack anybody. He shoved his free hand that Rin was not holding onto in his pocket. ”I suppose it just depends on what you’re in the mood for. I bet they have more entertainment than we do.”

[/blockquote]

tagged , Rin!
words ,
lyrics , run this town - jay-z
notes , He’s not a monster! But it sounds kind of cool anyways, lol.
credit , rora @ hos

[/color][/center][/font]

[Natsumi Sayuri]

This relationship they cultivated, this little bit of tension and ease, this stretching of happiness and dampening of sadness -- this is what they have created from nothing. A moment, a look, a little twist of fate had led her feet to his, had given her the need, the want, to investigate -- perhaps it was not fate at all, but her own nature. She could not change, and he could not change; they were what they were meant to be, but in that creation, she had been given the tools to search him out, to sniff him out like the Wolf that rolled under her skin, that ached and simpered and waited, so patiently, knowing, knowing it was almost time. It had been a hunt, and the prize had surprised her: he had clashed with her so roughly, taken by the strong course of her passions, by the incredulity of her bearing. But eventually they had evened out, like water usually will, when placed back on a flat surface. She was in need of him, but did he really need her?

Perhaps it was her task to prove it; she smiled, so tightly, so pleased with herself as she rolled herself tight in that confidence, knew purpose and the hunt dancing around in her heart. The flames were vivid and red, and she was cast in a silhouette of burning passion. Yes, this was what she loved to be: this self, this confidence, fearlessness, searching for adventure, focusing her mind on something, anything. This was the invincible Rin that Luke had first encountered, with her sprawling smile, her easy motions, so full of the confidence that comes with the satiation of the predator. Luke had given it back to her -- this purpose, this path that she could take if she could wrestle it in between her jaws and take it with her.

Rin wasn't going to lose. That smile eased out, like a lazy cat, growing, completely comfortable, all sorrows forgotten in this heated moment of power. They no longer struggled against each other, no longer writhed against the chains she had wrapped around them -- Rin had abandoned that struggled, a battle only half-fought, half-hearted and only half-wanted. Her eyes slipped to the side, roving under her restless eyelids, a sneaky, mischievous tilt to her chin. Yes, this was better, so much better than the fear -- eradicating those thoughts, Rin was utterly ruthless is carving that self out of her skin: like poison to be sucked clean out of the blood.

Her hand tightened on his, glad in her heart that he was following, that he would give her this little moment, this precious moment; his warmth, his security -- where she was chaos, a ship pitched upon the stormy waters of her consciousness, he was the port, the steadiness. He waited, while she lunged and tried to seek. It was their greatest difference and the reason why she needed him so much -- the trait to which she was attracted. She, the Wolf, seeking, hunting, and he, the Cat, knowing it would come to him if he were patient enough.

But the Wolf is not meant for patience; she waited, in silence, in a growing intensity, knowing the time would come, so soon, so close, but the adrenaline and the energy were sizzling beneath her paws, making her restless and agitated; she was the purest of all creatures, in love with energy and rage and happiness -- anything hot, that could dissolve the cold frigid center of that implacable loneliness. But she had other prey in mind, while Rin only pressed thoughts to Luke, to his easy-goingness, to his simple comforts. Truly pack, truly brothers and sisters, bound by a loyalty perhaps that could be matched. Did he know she would do almost anything for him if he asked? Did he know she would run to him whenever the world was crumbing, whenever danger was nipping at her heels and she could not outrun, or outfight it?

Invincible, perhaps, but even for wolves, the strength lie in the pack. Call one, you call all; they were arms and legs, and fangs of one giant beast, moving to protect the littlest, overwhelming and powerful. It was what she craved, what she had, in her haphazard and angry way, been trying to make. But there was only Luke, and it was enough for now, to have him here. So willing to indulge this little whim. Rin paused, glanced back and slowed so they walked side-by-side instead of one in front of the other. "What would you want to do?" she asks, but her thoughts on not where his were; it was more exciting to shift in a place where it was forbidden, was it not?

Rin had never seen the Jaguar up close and personal; that she might, perhaps, see it now, soon, so close, excited her -- the Wolf rose up with a howl, peering out from behind her eyes with all of her feral nature and impossible need for action. Patience had run short, for she was not a creature born of long waiting. There were others, perhaps, that could, but she was not built for such things -- born on the wings of Rin's potential, she was full of hot emotions and suffocative need. She would outrun the world, if it even, by chance, fell behind.

She felt the motion of his hand going into his pocket and realized she still held their hands linked; she released him with a cheeky sort of smile. So what? Rin threw the thought in the Wolf's face, but the Wolf only shook it's muzzle out, ears flat against it's skull. Yes, this was the power struggle that ensued so often, as they fought to remain on top, though both were so similar in this moment, in this precious blending of fire and flesh. "Do you think the boats are still bringing people over?"

A moment of anxiety flickered over her face, but she quickly stifled it, entirely too thrilled with the enthralling situation. "Do you know how to drive a boat?" she asked, so mischievously, her hands running through her hair as she thought, and thought, rolling dangerous ideas over her tongue as if tasting the measure of their worth. That smile curled along the edges of her lips, so playful, so terribly confident, "We can always commandeer a boat." Oh, how she loved that idea, savoring the possibilities, trusting, perhaps, too much that he would keep her from drowning.

He had saved her life, once. Rin may think too highly of it, but she had placed herself in his hands, and did not think she would be disappointed. Or she would never have put herself there in the first place. Her eyes sneaked over to glance at him, gauging his reaction with relish.

[/size]

word count;; 1147 (again!)
tags;; Ollie (fineeeee, see, no monster)
OOC;; Let chaos begin!

[/size][/blockquote]

[Luke Bowers]

* LUKE ( OLIVER ) BOWERS ,

Luke wasn’t sure how to answer what he wanted to do. ”Anything fun,” he told her, to put it simply. Now wasn’t really the time to be picky, was it? He wanted to hang out with Rin and have fun while it was still possible at the time. He didn’t plan on it being the last time, though. How it would happen more often, he didn’t know. ”I think we’ll find something once we get over.” He was sure of it. There had to be something more interesting than hanging around the school. Something that kept him from debating with Rin. She almost forced him to be irritated with her at times, and he wasn’t sure whether she was aware of it or not.

He was very much aware when she released his hand, as that sense of comfort and warmth decreased slightly. He returned the smile, but it slowly disappeared as she asked about the boats. After everything that had happened with the hurricane, he didn’t think they were transporting people back and forth yet. Hopefully the island over there wasn’t in too bad of a shape, or else there wouldn’t be anything for them to do anyways. He hadn’t thought of that. It wasn’t exactly a plan, them going over to the other island. It was just an idea that had popped into his head.

”Do you know how to drive a boat?” Luke laughed; he had never driven a boat before in his life. He hadn’t exactly lived anywhere where he needed –or could- drive a boat. ”No, but how hard can it be?” But where were they going to get a boat at? They were surrounded by water, so there had to be someone who had a boat somewhere. Though something with a motor preferably, so that it didn’t take them forever to get over. Rin spoke aloud what he had been mulling over in his head and he smirked. ”That’s a great idea. Know anybody who has a boat worth stealing?” They had to get out of the school first, though. It wasn’t very likely that they were going to find one in there. Not unless a boat had crashed into the school from the hurricane. Even if that had happened, it’s called “crash” for a reason. More than likely they would never get it to the water and if they did, they would be lucky if it still worked.

He was almost surprised that she would want to go onto the water, since she couldn’t swim. Plus she had just had a near-drowning experience and that usually scared people away even more. But maybe the idea of getting off of the island was just so overpowering that she decided to trust him to get them to the other island. In a boat that he didn’t know how to drive. He hadn’t noticed, but they had probably already passed the library. If the librarian had noticed, she probably would have been praying they weren’t going in. It wasn’t as if there was anything fun in there to do. Luke had been somewhat of a troublemaker before he had met Rin, but when she was in a mischievous mood, it only compelled him to do more stuff he shouldn’t do. ”Come on, let’s go find a boat.”

[/blockquote]

tagged , Rin!
words , 551
lyrics , run this town - jay-z
notes , No, I liked the nickname, lol.
credit , rora @ hos

[/color][/center][/font]

[Natsumi Sayuri]

They were both children, groping through the dark searching frantically for each other's hands; whatever their past, their horrors, their fears, there was this certainty: they had each other. Perhaps it was this that Rin had initially forgotten the moment she had gotten tangled up Murazar's lies; perhaps this little bit of faith that she had thought she had tucked away so neatly, had a lot of broken, loose endings that had never been quite sewed closed. So much irony, so much terror had pervaded her dreams, and her life, stalking her as a viciously as the Wolf did, morning to night, howling so loud it reverberated in her very bones -- but in this moment, strung along on the hopes of a possible future, even a meaningless afternoon, Rin was completely undone.

Her smile came fast and quick, her expressive face turning up at the ends instead of scrunching up in doubtful wonder as was it's wont of late. She treasured this warmth, this defiance and rebellion for what it was: a gift, a momentary respite from all that haunted her. So the girl took what was offered -- and Luke's confidence -- without missing a stride, and a charming little curl of her lips. There was nothing terrible in it, no misguided intentions, nothing of fear: she trusted him, for once. Even if she could not trust herself.

The Wolf lifted it's muzzle up into the air and sniffed at the changing winds, seeing in it's turning, moaning, currents a possible future away from the darker, weaker nature of the human half that dominated it. Would it ever be free? It could wonder for years and never be satisfied -- the girl could die and still it would be thwarted. Was there nothing that would let it go free? Was there only madness? Expectations puffed up like smoke, little exstatic explosions sizzling along her skin and forcing a certain sensitivity in her arms that she rather enjoyed; they moved fast, their pace matching the strides of their minds as they leapt toward the mischief, toward this little bit of happiness they had found in themselves.

Rin's smile was disarming, and almost --- almost --- sweet as she tilted her head, listening to Luke as he offered his suggestions, wondering at the cost of this expedition of theirs: but the hole in her heart was filling up with warmth, boiling over and leaving only a pink scar in it's wake. This wound, at the very least would heal clean. This wound, unlike the others, would remain as it was: without the infestation of worms and maggots to squirm under her skin at night, igniting her restlessness to a maddening peak.

So many usuals to be discarded this very moment: she clutched at the present in the only way that Rin knew: with tight fingers, her eyes constantly slipping forward as if they could not wait to feast on a new horizon, to drink in something new and untouched, unexplored; as if the moment her feet touched upon something other than this island, she would be a little closer to the freedom she had succored in her dreams: eventually she would run with the stars.

Eventually, she would escape.

"Not really," Rin admits with a shy turn of her nose as she peers out in front of them, astonished and delighted by the mischievous turn of events. Did she know who had a boat? Of course not. Rin was not Vince, to stumble around, looking from crumbs from the table of curiosity. She only knew those she had run across, those she had ruined, and in turn, been ruined by. A slight grimace flickered over her expression before it was swallowed by the excited yearning that pinched her nose and the quivering arch between eyebrows. "But there has to be something left. All the boats couldn't have been destroyed..... right?" there was uncertainty in her voice, urging him to speak, to fill the silence; this camaraderie came with ease. If only it could last.

But her emotions were like the lashing winds and the curling, shifting clouds: inescapable. Eventually, she would darken and lightning would strike. Eventually she would pitch those around her into a tempest and see with tired, weary eyes who survived the chaos. Until then, she nearly flew where she walked, her fingers twitching; many times she reached back as if she would grab onto him to hurry him up, only to withdraw, becoming painstakingly aware that perhaps he was not someone to be touched so idly. Yet what harm, she wondered, could come of it now? She had, until now, been rather liberal with her physical closeness to him -- to suddenly become self-conscious would only annoy her, and impede her when she wished, as she did now, to drag him faster behind her. Rin's amusement bubbled up in an unfettered chuckle, "This is almost stupid, isn't it?" she asks, flippantly, throwing it over in his direction as if the words were a ball to be passed as quickly as possible: let's see who drops it first.

"But," she adds, rubbing the area behind her left ear almost anxiously, "Really exciting." -- there is no barrier between her emotions and her tongue, though usually she is as silent as winter, closed and barred to anything that comes to her door. "I guess I shouldn't get too excited though, since...you're right. It's probably... the same." her lips pursed thoughtfully, tactfully avoiding the voyage over the water toward land. A moment ago, she was so overcome by fear she could barely speak, but could only choke out the words; now, for inexplicable reasons Rin could only feel an echo of that fear, aware of it the way the Wolf is always aware of a bigger, larger predator roaming the forest. It hangs there, but by constantly looking over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of it's hard, penetrating eyes, you give it power over you.

Rin refused to bow when she still had the strength to stand.

[/size]

word count;; 1010
tags;; Ollie-kins
OOC;; skidoosh. Sorry for the delay x3

[/size][/blockquote]

[Luke Bowers]

* LUKE ( OLIVER ) BOWERS ,

Luke wasn’t quite sure why he thought she would know if anybody had a boat. But it was worth a try anyways, right? Hell, he didn’t know anybody else on the island, especially outside of the school. And while a lot of the people on the island appeared to be nice, he didn’t think they were nice enough to loan them a boat. ”Maybe not. We’ll just have to take a look around,” he said, sounding more confident about it than he felt. He smiled slightly and shook his head. ”I don’t think it’s stupid at all. It’s great.” He was having a blast already, just trying to figure out how they were going to find a boat to take over to the other island. Who knew what kind of fun they were going to have over there. He was pretty sure they didn’t get hit quite as hard as this island, but he wasn’t sure just how far away it was either.

There still had to be some things they could do. Which left the question of what Rin liked to do exactly. Or maybe she would happy with doing something he liked to do. But whatever they did, he hoped she had some sort of fun. And apparently she was excited, so that was always a good sign. Right? He nodded in agreement, even though she wasn’t really looking at him at the moment. Whether seen or not, it still had the same meaning. He almost regretted saying it probably looked the same. There was no point worrying about it until they got there. ”Well I’m sure it isn’t exactly the same. There still has to be something to do over there.”

Something fun and entertaining, perhaps. Or anything to pass the time by. Anything even a little different from the island they were stuck on, because he was tired of being on it. He reached forward and grabbed her hand, tugging her forward slightly. ”Come on. “ Luke took off at a faster pace, headed towards the shores of the island. That was probably the only way they were going to find a boat in good enough shape to use. On the way there, he passed plenty of damaged boats that the water had brought to land. He was in Architecture and could probably fix some of them if they were wooden fishing boats, but most of them weren’t. And he definitely didn’t have the tools to do it with.

He eventually began to slow down to a walk as the shore came in sight.”I’m sure we’ll-“ ”Finally!” His sentence was cut short as someone shouted. He released her hand and glanced around the building in front of them. Apparently they were in luck. Someone had just backed their boat into the water, but he could tell it had just been repaired.”Leave the spare key in the tackle box under the seat.”

Was it really such a smart idea to put the spare key on the boat? And then to just yell it out where people can hear was a just a stupid move. ”Well, I guess we have a boat,” he told her. After they pulled away in the truck, he walked over to the boat. His best guess was that it was a pontoon boat, but he wasn’t an expert on the subject. It would definitely get them over to the other island if it had enough gas and he could get it started. Or at least it looked like it would get them over there anyways. He stepped onto the boat and held his hand out for Rin to take. ”Come on. Let’s go before they come back.”

[/blockquote]

tagged , Rin!
words , 653
lyrics , run this town - jay-z
notes , Hope that’s enough to work off of. If not, I’ll type more. Just let me know. Had trouble with my coding too.
credit , rora @ hos

[/color][/center][/font]

[Natsumi Sayuri]

Glimpses of snow flowed behind her eyes, stretching out like a landscape that had been carved and created in her heart: memory of happiness. Snow so deep it filled up to the chest, a cold so chilled every kiss made you bluer; breath came in a fog, heat leached out. She remembered snow falling, the silence of an old, old forest. She remembered love, and hate, and angst -- the Wolf's ears twitched back over it's head where it was curled in her subconscious. It knew these thoughts as if it were her own. As if, yes, yes, as if these were the thoughts which had first come to her, then was transferred to the next. Snow in white, night in black -- and she the shadow flitting over these snow-drifts, a dancing, writhing shadow. This was winter, this was happiness. That silence which filled her heart to bursting, a oneness that made her paws fly. These were the things she wanted, these the things she ached for in her bones. The Wolf was without her forest, the girl without a pack.

But there was Luke, here. Now. There was warmth flowing between her own words and his response -- warmth that melted the snows, that brought winter into spring. Rin walked in two worlds: one foot in the past of snows and silences, of a peace that slipped under her clothes, under her fur: a freedom she had always knows... and the other foot was buried in sand as they drew closer to the shore, to the water that arched and sprawled like a lazy cat. The sound made her balk, made her skin crawl with a deep-seeded fear. Drowning, horror -- there was a lake beside her house, iced over in winter, safe in winter. The Wolf's lips curl back and she flees. The Girl trembles, so small and slight a wind could puff against her back and drop her into it's needy abyss. She did not want to die.

That moment of fear, that little bit of concession hurt her, though she tried to ignore it -- but faced with it was different from thinking of it. The moment didn't last long -- his hand slipped into hers and she startled, her eyes whipping around to look at him, but he was not seeing her. He saw ahead, hurrying her along; Rin felt a smile slip over her lips, though her heart was starting to race, though her feet were trying to be clumsy. She stumbled a little bit then righted herself, following faithfully: finally, a lie was found. Rin was not without pack. Strength was here -- from the tips of his fingers, the strength of his palm -- and it flowed into her, warming her, exciting her. I’m sure we’ll- his voice falls and stumbles to a halt, cut off by a Finally! that overtakes them.

Rin flinches back, bumping into Luke, but it is only two men; her nostrils flare as if she were in truth the Wolf in her spirit, and she was scenting -- but there was only sand and water in her nose, and she turned her eyes away from the unfolding scene. The water churned forward, happily scouring the shore with it's need. Rin would never believe them when they said it could not get her. Had not a hurricane come and brought the sea to her doorstep? Had it not reached out and grabbed her in it's hand and squeezed the very life out of her lungs? Rin fell into thought, into uneasiness as she stared at it, seeing in it's maw, something more dangerous than fangs. Heart in her throat, she almost didn't notice when Luke moved, except that her hand was no longer in his, that she had nothing to hold onto. Hand fisting, she threw a disdainful look toward the water, snorting ---as if she could rid of the burning salt in her nose.

Come on. Let’s go before they come back.

[/b] She tears her eyes away from the water as if it were physically painful to do so -- as if without her eyes on it, it would sneak up on her, somehow, somehow. No point, she thinks with her usual spite. I'm about to go right into it. Her eyes are caught by the blue in his as she reaches out her hand, and climbs in, jaw tensed, shoulders rigid. Her eyes fix on the floor of the boat, away from him, away -- and asks in a small voice, "You won't let me drown, right?"

Pitiful, Rin sneers, but even the Wolf is cowed by the water, wishing for forests, for darkness and quiet. For a steady place to put her paw. [/color][/size]

word count;; 790
tags;; Ollie
OOC;; this post is kinda lame ... sorry ._.

[/size][/blockquote]