not_a{broken}H•E•A•R•T•//[Alethia]

[guess2]

+ ALESDAIR LUAN TORIN +
•••CALL ME ALEC•••


I can't be alone tonight, the slow water laps against the snow and ice,
There's something calling me; there's something human in that voice.
• • •

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How long had he been sitting there? Minutes? Hours? Days, it seemed, as light flickered over the horizon, as it burned his pale skin with heat, to a crisp of red, to death. Then nights, as moonlight flickered over head; or perhaps he had imagined it all, imagined the timelessness which surged before him, like the waters, always seeking, licking at his feet, tickling his consciousness. It told him to wake up, to come out, let's play! but he did not listen. He refused to answer to that call; refused to follow the sound of the ocean, to feel it against his hands, to taste the salt on his skin. Instead he remained as motionless as stone, emotionless but for the hungering darkness which twisted and curled in his stomach like a disease.

He could no more forget the feeling of her arms around him, than he could stop his hands from shaking as he reached for his cigarette. The sun flickered out of sight, dying before his very eyes, but Alec didn't see beauty in it; he didn't hear calmness in the sound of the water lapping at the shore, at the salty spray come to bat at his clothes, at his hair. The tide had come and gone, and come again, and he remained sitting on the sand, knees propped up, wrists dangling. The shadows stretched and swayed, dancing, flickering as the sun truly began to die, as it's last spray of blood-red color splashed against the sky. Alec watched, without emotion -- separate from that breathtaking beauty, untouched by it.

Was he human? Was he anything normal? He smiled, slightly, his lips pulling up the very corner of his mouth so slowly, so painfully. A corner lifted, his eyes unflinching as he stared at the dying light, as the sound of the water surrounded him -- became the very pounding of his heart. The water had a specific sound y'know? It sizzled and popped over the land, reaching with open mouths as if it would swallow whatever lay in it's path. It nibbled on his bare toes, surging forward and curling with white foam.

The light disappeared, as it had from his life, and darkness came -- slowly, painfully, it swallowed the sun with cool blues and greens, with a giant black wing that dotted out the stars. Alec sighed, his breath slipping out from between his lips as he lifted one painfully thin wrist; the cigarette slipped like a caress against his mouth and he pulled in a drag, deliciously, impossibly delightful, feeling the smog of poison inflate his very lungs, numb the pain he kept so hidden. It shifted out like black smoke, curling out of nose and mouth, out of his very pores as he quietly closed his eyes, eyelashes trembling over the curve of his cheek.

So delicate, his skin appeared, blue veins quivering over the gentle curve of his eyes, stretching out to curl in the knot of his temple; beyond his eyes, he imagined her, and hated himself for it. "Ah, shit." he mumbles, rubbing his eyes with the length of his forearm, forcefully trying to shatter the image that had been growing behind his eyes. Untouchable, icy Alec. A boy made of gears, of course, of course. He hid himself in this pitiful display of pain, the very corner of his mouth lifted in amusement at his own folly. Forget her? How could he forget her? Taking another drag of his cigarette, Alec dropped his head to his shoulder, staring out at the black waters that glimmered at the very top. Things moves in those shadows, he was sure of it, and let his mind wander, like a lost ghost searching for it's way home. He let himself follow memory, painful, wretched memory, with each drag of the cigarette between his lips, with each flare of the lit end. Smoke passed between his lips, and it was his pain he expelled, his pain he smothered under the toxins and tar.

His skin was damp where the curling spray of the waves splashed him again and again; his clothes clinging to chest, to shoulders, shorts lumpy and ripped; what a sight, this wretched boy, smoking, staring out at a sea he could never belong to. What did he think? What did he do? How long has he sat in that same spot as the tide seemed eager to overwhelm him, to surge past his toes, to lick around his legs and his hips. Would he remain even as high tide slipped over his head? Would he remain and let the tide drag him out? Did he even care?

Alec smiled that damnable smile, the very edges of his mouth curving upward, one eyebrow raised slightly above the other as he chuckled, low and self-deprecatingly. What did I have to lose? Indeed, what did he have to lose?

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word count;; 816
tags;; Alethia
OOC;; debut post for Alec - w00t

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