much needed research ||ANJA

[Maddox Raynes]

He needed to look into researching some more plants that could be used to possibly advance some of the current medications in the field. He wanted to look into adding more ingredients to the bases since maybe it could help make the medicines better. Or just make the people respond to them better. Either way, he was determined to spend his afternoon in the library getting things together and seeing how much research he could actually get done. He was currently working on his own concoction for medicine, but he doubted that it would ever go anywhere. He wasn’t licensed for it and even though he was smart, he didn’t think he was smart enough. But he was determined to try anyway. So as he sat in his classroom finishing up for the day, he was a bit excited to do some more work on this. He finished grading the last of the tests he had stacked up and was soon neatly stacking things to put them away. Placing them in the correct folders, he placed them in his bottom desk drawer, which served as a filing cabinet, and then pushed it closed, making sure it was locked.

Now satisfied, he packed up his black back pack and made sure he had everything. Stuffing his cell phone into his back pocket, he checked for his wallet and then made his way to the door. He made sure everything was neat and tidy for tomorrow so the cleaning staff didn’t have to worry about much and then stepped outside of the room. Locking the door, he placed his keys into his back pack and then hurried down the hallway. The library was his favorite place. He could be by himself there and he wouldn’t appear suspicious in the least. People expected others to be alone there, and he wouldn’t be questioned. A lot of people noticed that he stayed by himself for the most part, and he tried to play it off. It never worked unfortunately. Ignoring those thoughts, he just strode purposefully towards the library, saying his greetings to his colleagues and to some of the students who dared look his way. He would say hello to anyone in all honesty, but a lot of his students and others were intimidated by him because of his quiet and stern nature, so they just let him be most of the time. He would honestly have no problem talking if they started the conversation.

That was just how he was and who he was. Trying not to dwell too much on that depressing subject either, he finally saw the hallway that led to the library. He didn’t like that it was this much of a distance from his classroom because it didn’t give him much time if he wanted to steal away during a free period or between classes. He lived with it however and made sure he was on time for classes at the same time. As he reached the entrance, he opened the door and slid through the small opening he had made for himself. The young professor made his way to an empty table in the back, plopping his back pack down upon the flat surface. He made his way instantly to the plant and herbs area of the book stacks and started pulling down as many books as he could that he thought would help. Once he stacked them on his table, he went to the medicine section and got a few books on pharmaceutical and medicinal practices. It would only help in the long run. He took out his notebooks and opened the first book. It only took him moments to start making his first notes. It looked like it was going to be a long day.

[Anja Boujinsky]

It had taken her a while to find the paper that had been written on the ichneumon. There was some sort of scientist that cared about the world just as much as she did, or so she hoped. It was really quite simple, the idea that she and him shared. There were flaws, as with any scientific theory that had not yet been tested, and wouldn't be tested unless there was enough funding. Funding had so much to do with these things. If it didn't make the man any money, then they said screw it and tossed it aside to destroy a forest for some kind of profit. And it was this that she wished she could one day see the end of: greed. But then again, if there was no greed, then the world would be the world that she knew. There would be less big companies. She doubted there would be as many of the rich and maybe even socialism might work all on it's own.

There was a small smirk on her face. Yeah. That'd happen. But, then again, one could dream, right?

Her fingers tapped steadily at the printer, waiting for the pages to come out. Color printing took longer, but she wanted all the details and the pictures of the flies on the sheets. She wanted to read it from beginning to end, and to memorize it, so she could quote him when ever she wanted to make her own point about their shared idea. It was genius, really. It was a world-changing, and environmental cause. Take out the insecticide and let nature do it's own work with a little push from scientists. Yes, in the past that had proven fatal. There had been the cane toads. The dumping of aquarium fish that had turned into epidemics, but these were different. They lived and thrived all over. They were literally all over the world, and introducing them wouldn't be as difficult. They were like the worms of the insect world. But then there was that fear egging in both his mind and her own. What if they bred too fast and too many? What if insects started having the issue with survival? There were so many what if's on all sides, that it just drove her nuts. What if this happened? What if it lost them money? Oh God forbid that they didn't try something new.

That drove her crazy. To attempt was better than to do nothing at all. All you needed was a solid plan and if something went wrong then you could fix it or at least try again. Why did greed always have to be in the way? Why couldn't they introduce the ichneumon, to more of the population near a farm to stop poisoning in the ground and the food itself? Wouldn't it save money in the end? She thought so, but maybe others didn't, or maybe he was the type of person to come up with an idea and not go through with it. He never said whether or not he presented the idea to anyone. It was just a paper. A color-printed paper, at that.

She placed the sheets under her arm, and went back towards her table near the end where her satchel and papers were sitting. Placing it under one of her heavy books, she went back towards the shelves, pausing where she was sure the book she was looking for was located. She caught him in the corner of her eye taking off with the very book she was looking for. It was a kind of plant dictionary that she had planned to study, given her little knowledge on anything that had been found in the greenhouse. She hated feeling stupid, even if the girl she had met hadn't really cared whether she knew about the plants or not, she had cared. She quickly made after the man, pausing when she really noticed what—or rather, who exactly he was. A teacher quite obviously. She bit her lip, unsure if it was wise to bother him. Given that he didn't look too friendly to begin with, she decided the book was of more importance.

She took to his side, tapping him on the shoulder.

“I'm sorry, sir. But I was wondering if I could borrow that book when you're done? Or maybe you're going to be reading some of these others instead and I can take a look while you're busy? I was hoping to use that book for some research.”

She pointed to the plant dictionary in the pile of books.

[Maddox Raynes]

He needed to focus, but this was getting harder and harder for him. His mind was not in this for some reason, even though he knew that he was behind in research. His classes had been moving fairly quickly, and everyone knew that he was a big quiz and test giver. And he had given them. However, he always allowed his class a small advantage. He allowed them to make a notecard of notes for the tests and quizzes, and he always told them when they were having the tests weeks in advance. The week before the tests he used as reviews, because he wasn't going to lie. His tests were hard, and he felt bad sometimes. If someone needed help, he would be more than willing to stay after and help them. However, because of his intimidating nature, more often than not, not a lot of students stayed after. He felt badly and tried to be more friendly, but it didn't always work out to his advantage. But why was he worrying so much about his students' emotions now? He never had before, and it was starting to irk him a little bit. He wasn't sensitive, so what was the big deal?

And then the realization hit him. He knew what this week was, and he knew what that meant. He had just turned twenty two at the beginning of the week, and that meant a lot. It meant that he had killed his brother eight years ago. It meant that his mother had disowned him and banished him from the family eight years ago, it meant that his father had basically smothered him to save the life of his brother eight years ago, and it meant that he had been living on his own for eight years. He was trying to forget a past that scarred him and scared him. He was trying to forget a past that he never wanted to think about again because it was just that painful. But it explained why he was more aware of emotions. Maddox was so immersed in his thoughts and his attempt at working that he didn't hear anyone come up from behind him. Normally his attention to those sorts of details was ideal, but not today. His sensitive hearing failed him because of his distraction, and as he felt a tap on his shoulder, disaster seemed to strike. It seemed to do that wherever he was in all honesty. Jumping in response to the tap and the words behind him, he turned quickly, ready to defend himself. His animal instincts took over but he didn't shift. He would never shift in front of his students. His students didn't even know what form he took, and many took to guessing. An eagle was what most came up with, but he never relented. They didn't need to know what monster he became when he couldn't or wouldn't control himself. Biting his lip, he ignored those thoughts and carried out his reaction to his slight fright.

His hands were clenching the plant book that the poor student wanted, but he released it immediately. Unfortunately, that release had no aim. He dropped the book, and as if in slow motion, watched it start its descend. It kept going until the corner of it slammed into the girl's foot, and Maddox found himself wincing because it looked like it hurt. His eyes widened as he sat there, and he stood up abruptly, guilt flooding him instantly. "I am so sorry! Are you alright? Here, let me help you!" He questioned her, knowing that that was bound to leave a mark. It fell hard and fast, and the corner had fallen right on her toes. Wincing once more, he started gathering his papers in neat stacks. He shoved them into the folder and then stuffed it into his back pack. Leaving the books for the librarian, which she hated, he shouldered his bag. He would apologize to the older woman later. He had more pressing matters to deal with. Maddox attempted to reach a hand to her elbow, wanting to support the young woman. That was going to leave a mark, and he felt awful for it. "I'm truly sorry."

[Anja Boujinsky]

Oh, well, the teacher didn't seem to notice her. She said nothing at first, taking a small step back, wondering if she had caught him at the wrong time. There was a good chance he was just concentrating on something important for his class. Maybe it was even just some research much like herself, and maybe he was the type of person to dive in deep with his work. For that, she would have only found her respect greater for him. There was nothing like a personality that did it all or nothing. It was much like her parents, and the way she had been brought up. Life was too short not to do anything in your power to make your dreams or even simple goals come true. If you wanted to fly, then you better as hell get to working on changing your body and the mass against force to tell gravity it would be kissing your ass.

She smiled lightly, about to tell him that she'd leave him be when he turned quite suddenly towards her. She had seen the offered book and had at that moment decided he must have been in concentration, and had of course heard her, but, well he was too deep in thought at that very moment to answer her. She instantly liked the guy already. Or so she thought. Because at the very moment that she came to realization there was gravity telling her to kiss it's ass. In fact, it wanted it to kiss it's ass and implement the form of her lips into the flesh. She let out a loud yell at the book fell at what seemed like the tip into her toe. She could feel the crack, and if not for her scream she might have heard it as well. The pressure of the book's energy in one general area had not only ended her with a painful bruise, but it had ended with inner bleeding from beneath the thick skin of her big toenail. She didn't even manage to hear what he had to say as she fell back, her hands barely catching her as she landed on her bottom.

Her fingers quickly moved towards her shoe, and with shaking hands it was unlaced and laying on her lap. Her fingers carefully pulled her sock off, though it seemed nothing, not even the gentle pull could stop the painful throb that escalated with each touch of her own sock and fingers. There seemed to be a deep reddish color beneath most of her toenail and with each throb she could feel the pressure beneath her toenail getting larger and larger. She looked up at him, trying to suppress the painful tears.

“I'm—I'm so sorry. I didn't mean--”

She felt a few tears flowing down her eyes, and her throat grew as if a frog had been born within. She tried to suppress every emotion that wished to come out, and she wrapped her arms around her knee as if nursing her throbbing toe just by doing so. She wasn't one for weakness, but in all seriousness, it'd been a really long week and this was just the “book” on top that had once again set her off. She wondered how long she'd last unless things started getting back to normal, and it was these thoughts that pushed back those tears.

“Sorry.”

Her voice was flat and her eyes moved up towards him as she tried to recall what he had said.

“I didn't mean to scare you.”

[Maddox Raynes]

He should have been paying more attention. He should have been aware of his surroundings as he normally was, and maybe something like this wouldn't have happened. If he had been paying even the slightest attention he would have been able to hold onto that book, but instead he watched in horror as it careened downwards and landed painfully upon her foot. He winced visibly as it struck, and then grimaced as he heard her scream of pain. And it was no small scream of pain by any means. He was worried about a potential break, because as she fell backwards it made him think the worst. He stood up from his chair so quickly that it toppled over behind him, but he didn't care. See, Maddox's concerns always focused around his students. He did everything and anything to help them out, and he hated seeing them upset, or failing a class. He would always give extra credi for those that needed it and deserved it, and he always put their well being before his own. So that was why when he saw the tears and the pain in her features, he instantly felt upset and responsible.

Why hadn't be been paying more attention? This poor girl had only wanted a book, and he had basically shoved it in her face. It was a complete and total accident of course, and he hadn't intentionally dropped it on her, but he still felt extremely guilty. This was all of his fault, and there was something obviously wrong with her. He remained standing for a minute as his brain tried to function all of this, and when he seemed to come to and regain himself, he jumped into action. He was a trained surgeon and licensed doctor after all. He could handle this kind of thing. He could fix her, and he wouldn't charge her like the hospital would. Swallowing past the words that jumbled within his throat at first, his worried eyes found hers as he kneeled down beside her. He put his hand on her shoulder, trying to see if she would settle down enough for him to talk with her. As she seemed to instantly dry her tears, he was a little taken aback, but he was grateful. He had never been one that was good with the whole crying thing, even though he would try his best. Especially in this situation because he had caused them. His gray eyes still looked worriedly into hers, and he spoke up as he heard her words of apology. "Please don't apologize. This isn't your fault. I should have been paying more attetion." He explained gently, letting her know that he was not angry, and would have no reason to be angry. This was his fault, not hers.

Taking a deep breath, he looked down at her injured toe. Okay, he could take care of that. The blood and pressure were gathering beneath her toe nail, and he knew that it had to be painful. He just hoped nothing else was broken. "Can you move your foot and your toes?" He had to make certain that nothing was broken. Once he was certain that it was just the blood gathering beneath the nail, he stood up and kept a hand on her elbow to help her up should she decide to stand. Seeing her now stoney expression and hearing her apology once more, he brushed it off. "It's not your fault. Please, I'm sorry for dropping it on you. I feel awful." He admitted and then looked to her foot once more. She wouldn't be too happy with what he had to do, but he was going to try his best not to hurt her too much. "I'm Professor Maddox Raynes. I'm a doctor, and I can fix your toe if you'll let me. We just have to go back to my office. Can you make it? I can help you walk." He was straight and to the point, but there was a certain kindness in his voice. He didn't want to scare her anymore, so he was trying to make her feel a little bit more comfortable around him since he had just mutilated her foot. Sighing to himself, he stood with her until she was ready to make her way to his office, where he was honestly going to help her. It wouldn't take long, and he wasn't afraid of doing it. He just hoped that she would trust him. As he looked around the library, he saw that some people were staring, and he just ignored them. He knew the librarian would hold his stuff for him, but he grabbed his back pack as well as her back pack so that he could carry the stuff for her. He felt awful, and hoped that she would let him help her.

[Anja Boujinsky]

There wasn't much to be said, but she silently watched him. He seemed more concerned than angry at her, so she silently nodded her head. She would have to apologize later, because in the end, she had been the one that had seemingly startled him and not the other way around. She softly rubbed her hand over the throbbing toe, pushing back every tear that had fallen with the back of her hand. She nodded. She knew who he was. He seemed nice enough, though it wasn't the tangible kind of niceness. It was more the type of niceness that you get from someone being considerate. Considerate, but not exactly emotionally open. Or so she got from him. She got up slowly, using the wall to raise herself to her feet. She could instantly feel the throb deepen, and a gasp escaped her lips as she leaned into him.

“I'm So--” She paused, scrunching her nose at those words. She had intended to apologize again. It seemed a habit of hers when it came to doing stupid things in front of her respected elders. She grabbed his arm for support, attempting to put most of her weight on her good foot. She grabbed the lace of her shoe and tucked it under her arm, allowing it to dangle at her side as she nodded her head up at the older gentleman. He had soft features. He seemed so young to be a doctor, and she intended to ask many questions about this. It fascinated her how young he looked, and yet, he was older, of course but not too much by the looks of it. Anything to keep her mind off her foot, right? She winched at that thought, and quickly frowned.

“Um, yes, thank you. I'--That sounds like a good idea. I'm Anja Boujinsky.”

She offered him a nervous laugh. She hopped along carefully, keeping as much pressure as she could muster off from her left foot, and levitated her toe all that her small muscle could allow. She didn't speak much as they walked, trying to concentrate, but she did carefully watch him at the corner of her eye. He had a very athletic stature to him. He wasn't an unhealthy man, and in fact, if he had been younger, she would have considered him quite attractive. Yet, there was something about him that felt so empty, as if he didn't have the women hanging on his arms like one might have thought at first look. He wasn't overly quiet. He was just... different. She couldn't exactly place what exactly it was called, but there was something about him that intrigued her. She lean against the side of the frame as he opened the door, looking into the darkness of the office.

It seemed exactly what she had expected with his personality. As soon as the lights were on, she could see the sensibility, and the craving for knowledge. Everything seemed to have a place, and though there might have been a few displaced papers here and there, he seemed like her type of person. Intellectual and quite possibly understanding of her own form of thinking. She silently waited to be directed, taking from leaning against him to leaning against the wall.

“This is very nice.” She said, offering him a smile. She kept her breathes in deep intervals to keep the pain, or rather, the pressure from bothering her more than it already was.

[Maddox Raynes]

He could handle this. He could help her. He was a doctor after all. And even though he was young, his knowledge was capable and immense, and that was for the small fact of the genius that he had become. His mother had devoted herself to pushing him forward in his studies, and it had worked. He had exceled and skipped grades, but that wasn't the point here. THe point was that he could handle taking care of releasing the pressure beneath her toe nail. It would take nothing more than a sterile needle and a pair of latex gloves and the problem would be solved. She would have a lot less pain even though the initial stabbing would hurt. However, the release she would feel afterwards would cure that instantly. Feeling confident in his abilities, he stepped forward to offer her his arm, and was more than relieved when she took it. He would help her out. There was no doubt about that. He needed to help her after what he had done to her. Although, he didn't feel obligated to assist her. He wanted to, honestly.

Sighing to himself to regain a bit of his nerves, he looked down to her as she leaned against him. She was light, and the strength he possessed made helping her through the hallways extremely easy, even with the two backpacks on his free shoulder. Feeling her lean into him as she gasped, he looked down at her in worry. He felt awful for causing her this pain. Furrowing his brow, he heard her start to an apology and realized she had cut herself off. For some reason that made him want to smile, but he fought that urge so he didn't appear as odd as she probably already thought he was. Recollecting his thoughts and himself, he walked forward slowly, not minding that she was leaning on him at all. He wanted to help her, and this seemed to be working for the most part. Hearing her next words, he looked down at her with his patient and intelligent gray eyes. He nodded softly in response and then spoke up. "Well, it's nice to meet you Anja. I wish it were under difficult circumstances however." He admitted with a small smile and then was a bit relieved when they reached his office.

He didn't want to get rid of her, he just wanted to get rid of her pain. He situated her into one of the chairs across from his desk, making sure she was comfortable. Hearing her compliment of his office, he offered her another small smile. "Thank you. It's not much though." And it wasn't, but that was how he liked it. It was organized, but it held all of what Maddox was and what he was all about. One wall was completely covered with books in the book shelves, and every single spine was creased from the reading they underwent. His desk was not littered with family photographs, and instead held nothing but a computer and a small shelving system to organize the files he was currently working on. His notebook was on top of it, but the absence of photos was obvious to anyone who looked around. Most people had pictures of their families or their friends, but not Maddox. The only picture he had was inside of his desk drawer, and that was of his brother, his mother, and his father, as well as of himself in happier times. He looked at it when he was desperate for comfort.

The office was painted a tan color, with one darker accent wall of navy blue. There were nice framed artwork portraits on the empty walls, but that was it. It was simple and yet calming. The way that Maddox needed it. His file cabinets were next to the small chair in the corner where he sat to read. That was about the extent of it, despite the large window and the two chairs across from his desk. It was what he needed. However, now he disappeared into the small backroom, emerging with an extensive first aid kit and a lighter. Moving next to Anja, he decided to explain to her what he needed to do as he kneeled to the floor. Dragging the stool that went with the chair, he asked her to prop her foot up on it. Looking her in the eye, he spoke up. "Now, we need to relieve the pressure. I'm going to need to puncture your toenail with a needle. It's going to be a little painful, but releasing the pressure is going to relieve much of the other pain you are in. If you need to, just squeeze my arm, okay?"

The explanation was simple, and that's what he wanted it to be. Opening the first aid kit, he pulled on a pair of latex gloves and then brought out a clean and sterile needle. In order to sterilize it some more, he clicked on the lighter and held it over the flame, letting it heat and disinfect. It would also make it pass easier through her nail. As soon as he was finished with that, he leaned over her toe, but first found her eyes. "Ready? I'm going to count to three." He waited for her response and then started bringing the needle down. And it was on two that he pierced her nail, knowing she had expected it on three. He needed to have the small element of surprise because it would make it easier for her. He did it smoothly and easily, and felt the opo between his fingers. He knew it most likely hurt her, and was expecting some response. As he removed the needle as quickly as he had inserted it, he moved to dispose of it. However, as he did so, a strong whiff of the fresh crimson liquid hit him head on. Oh no.

He hadn't felt like this since that day. Fear fled through him as he seemed to freeze. His gray eyes turned to look at Anja, and there was obvious fear reflected in them. "Anja. You...you n-need to leave. Now!" Oh he tried. He tried to warn her. He tried to save her life unlike how he killed his brother. If she didn't leave he was afraid that she would be victim to him as well. He was a killer. It was why he never shifted. It was why he was so good at controlling the urgers to shift. However, for some reason her blood made his animal instincts take over once more. And he knew for some reason this time, he wasn't going to control this. "Run Anja, run." He warned her before he felt the painful cracking of his limps and the tearing and rearranging of his flesh.

His frustrated cry soon morphed into an agitated roar, and he landed on the floor in front of her on all four paws. The rather massive white bengal tiger stood in front of her, the body replacing the human one she had just seen. His gray eyes were familiar and exactly the same, but they were filled with the lust for blood. And not just for any blood, but her blood. Her form caught his attention instantly, and before he knew it he was charging forward, his teeth exposed and his claws flexing. He wanted her blood. He wanted to repeat the murderous act he had committed when he was almost fourteen. He would never forgive himself for this.

[Anja Boujinsky]

Anja watched him carefully, doing as she was told. There was this softness to him that she hadn't expected. There was obvious care in his movements. He was a good person, and that she had already suspected. He was quiet, but intelligent. Sweethearted, but seemingly afraid to show too much of himself. Maybe there was a reason for this fear, or maybe that's just how he was raised. Didn't that have much to do with it? She wondered about his childhood, and wondered if he had been so quiet as a child. She herself had not been a quiet child. Well, she'd been quieter than many, but she had always been curious. Always asking questions. Always seeking something more than what was in front of her. Daddy, why can't the sky be pink? I want it to be pink, Daddy. Why do you have so much hair on your face? Why can't I dance on the clouds? Why do I dream when I'm sleeping, and why can't I dream while I'm awake? Do you dream when you sleep or am I special, Daddy? Question upon question, pointed at her father more than another other adult.

She had lost the most important man in her life. And yet, as she watched this teacher ever so carefully, she found herself wanting to wrap her arms around him as if to bring back more of that familiar feel that he had to him. Daddy, I hurt my toe. Can you make it better? She felt the swift movement of the sadness building in her throat as she listened to him speak of her toe. Her eyes went wide when she realized what he'd have to do. It seemed almost like something her father would do. A moment of pain for her own good. The throbbing was painful, but a needle to the toe? What was this? She didn't speak, but instead she took a deep breath as he counted the one. She took another breath as he counted the two, and as she was about to take her third breath in preparation for the poke, she felt the sudden pain in her toe. She let out a yelp of surprise. The pain lasted only seconds, and by the time she was able to feel her eyes tear up the pain had already became the relief of pressure as she saw the blood edging through the small hole in her toenail. She managed a smile smile, not quite looking at him and instead felt even more like she'd found someone like her father. The room itself was just a perfect picture of her own father's room. It was worn, but neat.

She heard his tone of voice and she quickly turned her head, catching that face. It had changed much, and though she felt something catch in her throat, it wasn't for fear itself, but for the disappointment. She almost wondered if she had done something wrong. She moved slowly, unsure of why his disposition had suddenly changed. Maybe he had read her mind and she had been thinking too far into their similarities. Maybe she had scared him. Maybe she—Oh geeze, had anything happened with her shift? She felt around her body, her eyes pausing on him as he spoke his last few words. Run? She felt that disappointment turn into fear. Run? Oh Jesus. She moved away from him slowly as she saw that pale, muscled skin sprout fur. She could hear the bones cracking, and she winced . If she hadn't gone to the bathroom earlier, she was sure she would have right there when that roar erupted. She felt a whimper escape her lips. She was only inches from the door now. She swallowed hard as she hugged the side of the door with her back, slowly moving out of the room in what felt like hours but was only seconds.

And then he charged.

A loud scream escaped her lips, and she dashed out the door, attempting to slam it behind her, only to hear it hit against something with a thud. She didn't dare look back to see what had been hit, and instead her muscles pushed her. She barely noticed the blood going down her foot as she half-sprinted and half-hobbled her way down towards the steps. She slid against her own blood as she came to a halt at the steps. Three steps at a time she was down the stairwell and once again in an empty hallway. No screams escaped, but heavy breathes proceeded to leave her chest. Panic. No. This wasn't panic. This was a survival instinct. She was being hunted by a creature that had been her teacher only minutes ago. She slammed the outside door open, and fell forward, tripping over the sidewalk. Pulling herself up with all the reflexes she could find in this survival mode she got back to her feet, and was back to a hobbled sprint. Her chest pained her as she left the sidewalk and made her way towards the woods, somewhere in the direction of the beach.

She could hear those footsteps of that powerful creature. He had been getting closer with every moment and that fall had screwed her over. She knew what she would have to do if she wanted to live to punch this teacher in the face. But... she managed a look back, and saw a flash of black and white that appeared closer than she had been hearing. A scream escaped her lips and she felt her speed pick up. Her muscled screamed with her, and her tendons threatened to give out with each pull of the muscle. Run. RUN. RUN! It was all her brain could think no—She didn't notice the large log in the darkened woods, and with a final straining of the muscle force upon force hit each other, and down she went flying, over the large log and painfully into a tree. She could have sworn she heard a snap as a pained scream escaped her lips. Back against bark, her eyes were wide as she averted her eyes in every direction, searching for the predator.

“Please.”

She whimpered lowly, “Please don't make me do it.”

[Maddox Raynes]

Now, this was very unlike him. He had control over his form, and he had control over his lust for blood. Ever since he had murdered his brother during his first shift, he had done everything that he could do to control himself. And he could. He didn't know what was wrong with him now. For some reason the primal instincts had taken over once more. He couldn't put his students at risk in this way. He needed to contain himself and control himself, but her blood was so strong. The smell reached him instantly and filled him with that want and that need. He was a predator after all, and he hadn't satiated his thirst fresh meat in a long time. That was the mistake that he needed to fix as soon as possible. However, he couldn't change it now, and he was going to be forced to chase after her because he wanted and needed her blood. He hated himself already, and he was going to hate himself even more after today. He would never forgive himself, and he would never want to.

The killer in him instantly took over and clouded his thoughts. His thoughts turned to desires, and he saw Anja's fearful face. He ignored that expression and focused right onto her face. His gray eyes were filled with the lust for her blood. For the warmth and the food that would finally end his thirst. He had been thirsting for it since killing his brother, and apparently today was just the last straw. He leapt forward instantly, and watched as she screamed and sprinted out the door. The door slammed into his proud face, and he roared out in his surprise. However, it didn't bother him pain wise, and he struggled through it. Crashing through the bottom portion of the wood door, he bolted down the hallway, his nails slipping and gripping as he went down the corridor. He needed to be more careful if he ever wanted to gain on her. Extending his claws, he gripped at the floor as he moved, moving gracefully. If he wasn't on the hunt, people might be able to marvel at his ability and his beauty. But not now. The white Bengal tiger was the very definition of vicious. His face was impassive, but he was intent. Which was never a good thing in his opinion.

It had been like this the day he had attacked his brother. It was as if that day was pushing him forward, and he didn't know why. If anything, it normally made him draw back. However, he was thirsty. And only Anja would do. He heard the frightened yells of some of the teachers and students in the school, but they ignored him. He had just frightened them because of his speed. The people in this school were used to the shifting, even though they didn't know that it was Maddox. Maddox never shifted in front of people, and therefore many people believed that he didn't even have that power. Only his boss knew the truth, and that was the way that he wanted to keep it. Unfortunately, he had ruined that by shifting in front of Anja. And it wasn't even a controlled shift. His instincts pushed his reasoning aside, and he was forced to give chase on this girl that he had actually started to like as a person. She was different from the other students. She seemed intelligent and quick, yet sweet and shy at the same time. He wanted to talk to her more, and see what she had been researching. However, now there was no chance. She was probably going to be scared out of her mind, and he didn't doubt that she would spread his form around like wildfire.

He wasn't bothered by those thoughts now however. He was bothered by the want for her blood. So he chased her. He stalked her. He ran after her as if it was nothing, covering the distance in bounds and leaps, his claws pulling him forward easily. One would think his massive size would slow him down, but it only aided his power and his speed. His strong haunches pushed him forward effortlessly, and he was on her in moments. Her lead had been great, but he had closed it within seconds. Even in his shifted, unclear form, he wondered. Why didn't she shift? It would give her more of an advantage, and it would make it more difficult for him. He wanted the thrill of the chase. However, as he saw her go down, he looked forward in excitement. She was done now. Anja took off into the forest that surrounded the school, and he couldn't help but think that she was done for now. She should have never entered the darkness. He licked his lips at the thought of fresh meat, and he entered the woods slowly, unlike before. He was now stalking his prey instead of giving a downright chase. He would find her in here, there was no doubting that.

He heard her words before he saw her. Hearing the soft whisper, he didn't respond. He stalked from the shadows, his gray eyes lighting on her form pressed straight against the tree. He stayed for a few moments, making her think that he had disappeared, or that he couldn't find her. Oh but he had found her. And silently he charged from the side, hoping to take her by surprise. And surprised she was. Maddox had gotten on her in an instant, and his giant paw went straight for her thin body. His claws dug through her skin, clawing from her right shoulder to her left side. He wanted to leave his mark before he started in on her. His giant jaw parted as he went for her throat, but something happened before he could even deal the blow. And it was then that he backed off, regained himself. He stumbled backwards, and in that stumble, he landed on the back side that belonged to a human. Fear clouded his eyes and he looked around, his heart hundering wildly. Anja! Anja where are you?"

[shaggy]

Oh dear lord. I know, I don't exactly have a sure belief in you. There's a possibility that I'm just talking to myself, and maybe in the end that's what I need, someone to talk to whether it's myself or not. I—Just, if you're really there. If you really exist and you're watching out for me. Please don't let him kill me. I don't want to die. I have so much to do for you. For the world. I can show you, if you're real, that I am worthy of being spared.

Tears were falling in the short quietness that had followed after her fall. Her ankle throbbed painfully, and though she could barely feel the nail now, there was something so much more tangible surrounding her. It wasn't just the fear of death. It was the fear of changing into it. Oh, God. Please, just—Don't. Please don't make me do it again. Please. PLEASE! Sobs wracked her body as she slouched closer into the tree, the bark hard against her inner back where the sweat fell in thick droplets. It had only been a short moment that she had been left in silence but it seemed nothing even remotely “safe” could be forever.

She didn't even hear the attack before it occurred. The beast had jumped on it's powerful legs and within milliseconds there was a claw swipe at her shoulder. She didn't even get a chance to scream as her insect instincts took over. There wasn't fear. No. Her fly form didn't fear, even with a slice in it's flesh. There was a pain, but it was dulled as her body shrunk in those seconds after the drop of the claw. The wound itself even shrunk, forming a gaping wound, in her fly form, at least, just under her neck joint. The normal fly that would have taken off seconds after the wings arrived had turned into a splurting pained creature. She had little control as her wings arrived. Her form went into maniac mode. Her legs rubbed together in attempts to reach for the wound as she was in flight trying to get away from the attacker. With a land on the tree from above she could feel the instant weakness. She could feel something coming from the wound. Something that her little feelers touched with a pained force that even she couldn't explain.

She was dying in her fly form.

Her body was weakening, and the normal fight one might have seen from her species was dimming as she stopped flapping her wings completely. She had come to a standstill on one of the branches above. She could feel the vibration of someone nearby. She could feel the gentle breeze of the wind. The wind that would carry her warning towards the rest of her species. She felt her mind bogging in and out, and for only a few seconds her leg finally stopped moving as all movements became nothing but a gentle intake of the needed air from around her. If she hadn't caught back her mind in those last few seconds, she wouldn't have ever been found.

But she did.

Her body had slowly began to change, and she had quickly got back her mental capacity, as she did with all her changes. The mind came before the body, and she was given that knowledge that she was near death. It was this idea that death was so close that caused her mind to push the instincts from her to sleep and hope she could wake up. No. She'd change and know she'd be okay. She could go to a docto—She let out a yell as she felt her mouth forming. It came out in an eerily humanlike buzz as her lungs formed with them. Within seconds she was back in her human form, stark naked and bleeding from her shoulder. The throbs of her body came back to her quickly, and it was then that she wished she was still a fly where pain was different than in human form.

Her lips pursed together in order to keep the tears from coming. Her arms made attempts to cover any of her body parts that might embarrass her later on. She could see him, but she hoped with all hopes that he didn't see her. There was a tear in her eye as she moved slowly back from where her seat, edging her naked back into the back of one of the branches. It wasn't long until she remembered it all. It wasn't long until all that fear came in a flush of tears. A painful sob left her chest and she could find herself doing nothing but giving into the final emotions.

Life sucked for shifters.

[Maddox Raynes]

He sat there in his human form, his chest heaving and sweat covering his brow. What had he done? Where was Anja? Slowly lifting his hands from where they rested upon the ground, his gray eyes fell upon them in disgust and downright fear. They were covered in blood. He himself wasn't bleeding, and he made sure of that now, feeling all over his body to check for any wounds. He was hoping and praying that he had the wounds, wishing and willing for himself to be in pain. But there was nothing. He was completely scratch free. So that could only mean one thing. REvulsion and fear took a hold of his normally calm and handsome features, turning him into a state that he never wanted to reach again. His heart began hammering against his chest, and he felt short of breath. He couldn't have killed another. He would never forgive himself if he killed another. Pushing himself up from the ground in a hurried manner, he nearly stumbled as he lurched forward. He felt sick to his stomach. He felt like he was going to vomit the very little he had in his stomach.

Holding his breath for a moment, he regained his balance and his equilibrium, and closed his eyes. Slowly releasing the breath, he opened his eyes and started glancing around. She had to be here somewhere. He would never forgive himself if he had murdered her. She had done nothing wrong, but he knew what he had done. He knew the mistake that he had made. Maddox barely shifted because he hated who he was and what he became. The white tiger that overtook him was nothing better than a killer, and he wanted no part of that. He had ended his brother's life in that form, and in a sense, he had ended his life in that form. His mother wanted nothing to do with him, and she wanted him gone. His father wanted his only son to stay, but he knew it would be very hard to forgive Maddox. Even though it hadn't necessarily been his fault, there were things that the fourteen year old could have done. Maddox had no idea, and his brother didn't blame him. But his mother did. And there was no getting her love back. There was no gaining his father's respect either.

Maddox shook his head and shoved all thoughts of his old life out of his mind. That life had ended as soon as he had hurriedly packed his back pack and took the first step out that door in the middle of the night. That life was over with his acceptance of life on the streets. And that life was non-existent now that his new life was here. He had to accept that, and he needed to start living up to his mistakes and his crimes. His father had saved him from jail that one time, but there was no way that Maddox was going to escape his fate for this murder. And he didn't want to. He wanted to face up to this, but he wasn't going to give up on the girl just yet. The puddle of the blood at the base of the tree didn't end there. There were small drag marks until the large crimson color disappeared. There were droplets spread across the forest floor, so he had hope. He had hope to find her, and he had hope to help her through her injuries. He had to find her. He couldn't murder twice. He was never going to be able to erase that guilt.

Swallowing past his fear and his dread, he stumbled forward, his head light and seemingly empty. He couldn't even find his voice. The stench of the blood on his hands was sickening, and he knew how he could have solved all of this. If he had just shifted at least once a day, he would have been fine. He could have controlled himself when he faced her blood. But he had stopped shifting after graduating because he hadn't needed to anymore. That was the mistake. He couldn't control himself because of his lack of shifting. He would never make this mistake again. No matter how much he hated it, he was going to shift everyday to prevent things like this. So he would start after helping Anja. Finally finding his voice, he heard it crack as he called her name. She was never going to forgive him, and he didn't blame her. He just prayed that she could hear him, and that she could respond. He didn't want to imagine her lying somewhere face down in her own blood. Images of his brother's lifeless form hit him full in the face, and he pushed those angrily away yet again. He had to get past that. But not now.

Now wasn't the time to live in the past. Finally swallowing past the dryness in his throat, he spoke up. "Anja! Anja can you hear me? Please, please let me help you. I can explain, I swear." She was never going to answer him. Biting his bottom lip, he circled the tree and saw a flash of flesh out of the corner of his eye. His heart skipped a beat, and he hurried forward through the brush. "Anja! Anja, are you alright?" That was the stupid question of the century. Of course she was not alright. She had just been attacked by a white bengal tiger who was supposed to be her teacher. She was supposed to be able to trust him. He doubted she ever would again. He reached her form in the clearing and instantly noticed the lack of clothing. He didn't have that problem, thankfully. Shrugging off his large jacket, he handed it over to her, lying it on the ground beside her. It was up to her if she wanted to accept it. "Anja, I am so sorry. Please believe me. I never meant for that to happen. It's hard to explain, but I want to. If you'll let me. It won't make up for what I've done, but I can help you. And I can help you understand. Anja, please. You don't have to trust me, or forgive me, but I want to help you. It's not going to happen again. Please, Anja. Please." He kept his gaze averted so as not to embarrass her, and he only hoped that she would allow him to help her.

[Anja Boujinsky]

Anja couldn't stop the shaking. Each breath came in painfully as a sharp pain took over. Her chest heaved in and out, and she clung hard to her naked body, her knees over her chest and her chin upon her knees. She wasn't scared, exactly. She almost wished his form would come back after her. He wished that he could stop her from being afraid if only it meant darkness for eternity. Or something like that. She just wanted it to end. She wanted to stop being afraid. She wanted to be normal and happy like she had been in her early childhood. She wanted to sit next to her father while he typed on the keyboard. She wanted to be there to ask the questions that didn't need to make sense because her father always made sense of them. He laughed when she laughed and he smiled when she was upset.

The sobs fell hard on her chest, and she took a quick breath, hoping that would shoo them away. It didn't seem to work, but instead of just the simple pained breathes she felt another presence. She still had that insect feeling upon her skin, and maybe that's why death wanted her. Maybe she hated it just as much as she thought it did. To get rid of the form was to get rid of herself. More powerful sobs, and the sharp pain in her chest. She fell back hard against the bark of the tree as she heard that voice. She said nothing at first, only stopping to look when she realized that he had found her. There were so many words coming out. She wanted nothing more than to tell him to leave her alone to rot. Right where she needed to be. Where she could never hurt anyone. Where she could never feast on another being from. Where... she could finally be happy again. Please, Anja. Please.

She felt the tears come to a halt, and she moved closer towards him. She saw those same—something. Was it one of her feelings again? Was it a feeling she was remembering into something her human self saw instead of felt? She rubbed her hand against her knee, and felt a sticky liquid peel from her leg. She took slow movements to bring herself closer towards his edge. She said nothing at first, and just watched him. Desperation. Forgiveness. There were both here. Somewhere. She felt them. He—She felt the sobs return and she moved her legs down, allowing them to fall over the edge of the tree.

“Pl—Pluh-” She couldn't bring herself to say what needed to be said, and the sobs hurt against her pained chest.

“Pluu--”

She put her hands to her face and in that instant, she wanted nothing more than to disappear into the ground. Where she could finally be with her daddy. Maybe that's why she didn't even attempt to catch her balance as gravity took force and she went tumbling forward.

[Maddox Raynes]

xXx

The sincerity in his eyes was apparent, and he was trying his best to assess the situation without letting the past succumb him. He couldn't think of how his brother had been in the same situation. He had to get past that and help Anja. He could save her life unlike the life of his brother. His brother's chest had been ripped open, and that was because Maddox hadn't been able to contain himself in the least. Now however, he had some self control. He didn't have the total control that he so desperately desired, but he had been able to stop himself. That was the only reason that Anja was alive now. He had been able to pull his strength back, and he had worked his human instincts over that of his tiger's. He needed to be able to do that from the very beginning, and the only way to do that was to shift daily. He wasn't looking forward to it, but he wasn't going to hurt anyone else like this. Looking at her in obvious fear, he studied her wounds, trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible, even though he was sure she was anything but.

She was lying here in the middle of the clearing with large slash marks on her shoulder and chest, and she had no clothes on. She was in front of a teacher who was supposed to be able to control himself. If administration ever found out about this, he was going to be fired. He had no where else to go if that happened. He had no one else but the people in this school. He was an idiot for letting this happen. He should have known better, and he was never going to forgive himself. But he needed to focus, which was something he was having a hard time doing right now. Furrowing his brow, he looked down at her and saw the fear in her eyes. He had placed that fear there. He had made her afraid when she should have been perfectly alright with the situation. He was going to lose his job, and he deserved to. Shaking his head, he looked down to the ground trying to regain himself. Taking a deep breath he exhaled and looked back to Anja. The wound wasn't too deep, in some places she would need sutures, but he could take care of it. He was a surgeon after all. He knew what to do now.

Hearing her stuttered words, he tried to speak for her, but then suddenly she was stumbling forward. Well, falling forward was more like it. He caught her shoulders gently, his muscles flexing as he worked to keep her from hurting herself even further. Wrapping his jacket around her thin and battered form, he sweeped her up in his arms without another moment to spare. "It's going to be alright." He whispered, as if he was talking to himself and her at the same time. And it was going to be. Being careful with her as he carried her back to school, he was glad to see thtat it was nearing dusk so that there really wouldn't be a lot of people left in the school. He didn't need anyone seeing this in all honesty. Making his way up the back stairs to the school, it only took him moments to reach his classroom. Shutting the door behind him with his foot, he made sure that it was locked and the curtain was drawn. He didn't want to appear to be a creep, but he couldn't have anyone witnessing this. It wouldn't lead to a good situation. He went through the back door that led to the surgery table that he had in the back of the class. It came in handy, apparently. Placing her down gently upon it, he looked quietly into her eyes.

"This might hurt, but it's going to help you, I promise." It only took him moments to sterilize the crook of her arm so he could place her on IV fluids. She was losing blood, and he needed to get something into her. He lowered the jacket slightly, just so he could see the wound and went about cleaning it. He was as gentle as he could be, but he knew that it had to hurt. Once it was cleaned and sterilized, he looked to her, knowing that she wouldn't be able to stand anymore pain. "Listen to me. I'm going to give you something that's going to help with the pain. You're going to be ok." And she would be. He was intent on saving her here. Once he gave her the high dose of pain medication that would put her slightly out of it, he went about suturing the places of the wound that needed suturing. Basically the middle of the scratch. In total, he placed fifteen sutures, seeing as his claw marks had left a monster of a trail. Once he was finished, he bandaged her, needing her to sit up so he could wrap it around her shoulder as well as her back. It didn't take him long to clean up, and now he just needed to wait until she came to. Backing off, he covered her with a blanket and sat in a chair off to the side, bowing his head and clasping his hands. This had to work. Please, please let it have worked.

[Anja Boujinsky]

Anja wasn't sure what happened to her as soon as she had fallen. Maybe it was a kind of defensive mechanism that she had yet found, given that she had never been hurt like this before. Maybe it was her human reaction to the pain in her chest. Or maybe it was just shock. She felt herself, but at the same time, she didn't. As if she was having some kind of out of body reaction to everything that was going on. There was plenty of movement, and she felt his chest against her body. There was something there between them, and if it had been any other moment she would have been very grateful for this. Otherwise, she felt her breathing. Her chest went in and out with something there causing her a pain that she couldn't exactly feel. It was as if she could hear her own pain. It was as if sh—she couldn't even explain it to herself. Trees went past, and eventually they were in a building. The air conditioning sent a shiver down her body. She moved in closer to the teacher, her face digging into his side.

A whimper escaped her lips.

There was a few moments where it seemed to disappear. It was as if she felt herself going faint to the world around her. As if it was dulling. The visions of the lockers in the halls slowly faded to an outline and eventually became nothing. Her mind was dulled, and her body was cold. She vaguely felt herself on the table. She could only hear a garble of words as he spoke. Her eyes weren't open anymore, but there was a consciousness behind those eyes as she fought hard to stay awake. She wasn't tired in the natural way, she was tired in the “shit, I'm going to die.” sort of way, as she might have come to explain it later on. She felt the pain fade, and she felt something in her arm. There was small pains here and there, and more garbled talking. Nothing came from her beyond the small moans here or there as she attempted to keep from crying. She wasn't in pain, not anymore. She was... scared.

She felt a tear escape her eye, and within seconds the cold became a new warmth as cloth touched her body. She snuggled her chin into the blanket, bringing it closer to her face as she made attempts to get more comfortable where she lay. It was only moments later that she attempted to finally open her eyes. It was slow, and the sudden light caused her eyelids to flash back to the darkness. It took only a few more moments before she could open her eyes again. Everything seemed so faint, but yet, there was no pain. Just a subtle tiredness. She moved her head slowly, hearing his breathing in the silence of the room. She almost saw her father's fear sitting at her side. Very much alike, but very much different at the same time.

She wondered if her father had been a secret shifter too. She hoped in all her heart that there was a chance that her father had been the reason she had become what she had become. She hoped that her father had been—She felt the tears begin to fall again, but she did not move to push them away. Instead she let them fall. She let them blur her vision even more. Sniffs left her nose as the mucus thinned and tempted to run down her face. She inhaled deeply to keep this from happening, and slowly rubbed her chin against her pillow.

Her voice was low as she spoke, her face wet with tears as they continued to fall.

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”

Her tears went into a sob, and her head fell back into the blanket.