Who am I to say? (open)

[Felix Sbarge]

He was glad she said nothing more on the subject of talking to people and expressing oneself. He had nothing more to say about it, figuring she would figure it out herself. While he took pity on her, for never having learned, he saw no reason why she should and could not, therefore negating much of his pity. Rather focusing it toward himself and how much a fool he likely sounded, spouting random, mostly useless lines that had no doubt been fed to her before. At least, in his mind. But certainly, they were simply conveyed with better regard because of his tone and becuase he did care. At least he had a few things going for him.

The question, while wished for, was a hard one. His favorite song? Just one? He couldn't choose a few, or an artist, or a ton ten? Honestly, such a narrow minded answer for a question that one could review the answer to with many possibilities. He thought a second, eyes half closed, breathing softly through his nose, form immobile. "I'll have to go with...Wonderwall." But for the life of him, the artist had fled his mind. Well, either she would know it or not. "What about you?" Heavier, more slurred Irish accent the more relaxed and tired he became.

"Music Man," he mumbled, the strains of "Goodnight My Someone" floating across the stage to the accompaniment of piano, then, just as it broke in the strings and clarinets and possibly flutes and his eyes drooped even more closed, someone, Selah he assumed as he couldn't see anything with his face to the ceiling, changed it. He yawned, rubbed a hand across his eyes, blinked a few times and blinded himself with the faint stage lights. He hated those things. He blinked some more, then closed his eyes again, this time to clear the first reddish, then purple, then green, then yellow, then fading spots.

The next song he didn't recognize. But he was never one to recognize music well. While he enjoyed dancing to it and playing guitar, rap and songs like it were not something he was accustomed to. So while he tried to understand the lyrics are words of spoken "song," he was quickly and easily lost. Something about burning people and crying. But they weren't crying about the burning people, they were crying about..."the way he lied?" Felix shook his head, a small embarrassed cast to his eyes and lips. Well, hopefully the words made more sense than that.

In all honesty, he had thought she would pose a question of more weight, or at least as what his shift was; he had yet to guess her's, too distracted. Something of grace, and that was as far as he cared to consider tonight. But then, his shift wasn't important really, not to him. He thought of asking himself, threw away the idea, then frowned and asked anyway, something finally nagging him. "I'm wondering what you shift into..."

[Selah Belle Madison]

-

He had said his favorite song was Wonderwall, he didn’t say who the artist was. Selah assumed he was talking about the song by Oasis, or the version by Ryan Adams; either way it was a good song. She started to think of the lyrics ♫ I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, you're my Wonderwall.♫. It was a good song, good lyrics. And it was understandable. Classic music…well not classic as in classical, but classic as in good. Guitar, drums, and a lead singer…maybe even some other string instrument (violin, or cello possibly?). The lyrics had several meaning, depending on who was listening to the song. To Selah the song was talking about love, like most songs do, a guy/girl had gotten over the singer and the singer still loved the guy/girl, but didn’t know how to tell them. At least, that’s what Selah thought it was about.

He had asked her what her favorite song was. And she had absolutely no idea, she thought of all the possibilities. She could choose something sad, something upbeat, something loud, something soft, something that wasn’t really music. She thought of every song she had ever head. “I’ll have to say… A Thousand Miles, by Vanessa Carlton,” Selah hadn’t really thought of that song before she said. It had just…come out. But it was a good song. It opened by a fast piano, then other instruments added on. And the singer wasn’t horrible either. It had a meaning for her too. She had heard it for the first time around 10 years ago? She couldn’t exactly remember. It was a slower song, but had a faster beat some of the time. When she heard that song, it always made her think of the family she didn’t have. How she would go a thousand miles to see them again. She would have done anything to see them though. But the song could be interpreted in many different ways; for example it could be about two lovers separated (like Romeo and Juliet), or for a deceased loved one (like in Selah’s case), or even for a best friend that had moved away (which almost everyone could relate to). The song could be interpreted in many ways…like all good songs. And it was a good song; at least she thought it was.

Selah sat down by her MP3, she moved her fingers on the stage, almost as if she were caressing it. She moved her fingers through her hair, and reminded herself she needed to get rid of that habit. Then, Selah decided to lay down on the stage. For no reason in particular, just that she felt like it. She put one arm across her stomach, the other bent above her head (how she would usually lay). She moved the arm that was rested on her stomach up to where her necklace stopped. She began to fiddle with it, touching the opal carefully.

"I'm wondering what you shift into..."[/i]

Selah almost jumped as Felix broke the silence. She hadn’t even noticed neither of them was talking until he said that. She also hadn’t noticed that she didn’t ask him what he shifted into…though she still wasn’t used to talking about shifting in general.

“Oh, uhh…I shift into a black jaguar,” Selah smiled up at the stage ceiling as she thought about how nice it was to run with four legs instead of only two. “What do you shift into? she considered the possibilities, he didn’t seem like he was an aquatic animal, or really a jungle animal either. But she didn’t know him well enough to guess what he was.

The rap song stopped and the next song filled the concert hall, drums started the song, then a guitar joined ♫“Hey girl you know you drive me crazy one look puts the rhythm in my hand. Still I’ll never understand why you hang around. I see what’s going down. Cover up with makeup in the mirror. Tell yourself it’s never gonna happen again. You cry alone, and then he swears he loves you.”♫

Selah tapped her foot to the music, and slight bobbed her head still on the stage floor.



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[Felix Sbarge]

Felix thought about the sound she had said, frowning. He had to dig for the words, as it wasn't a song he listened to often. Not because he disliked it, no. More like, because had such a wide range of music he enjoyed, or music he told himself he'd like to hear, that he inevitably forgot some. Mentally, he scrounged the keys to the filing cabinet entitled "Odds and Ends II," he unlocked it, scanned the draws for the one labeled, "Music Lyrics of the World," and rapidly flicked over tabs with titles by so many artists and bands he almost missed the "V" section, so small comparatively. There, he vaguely recalled some catchy piano, the intro sounding like something more classical until the guitars and drums and whatnot entered, but he knew that song now. It was one of those songs commercials enjoyed using the music of.

"I wish someone would walk that far for me..." he muttered, mostly to himself. And then, opening his eyes and glancing over at Selah, found she was back beside him. Lying down beside him. And he blushed, for she would have heard him for sure. "Not that I wouldn't walk that far for the right person either, though..." Felix trailed off, blushing, weight on his elbows.

"Oh," was about all he could manage to her contented reply of shifting into a jaguar. Why did all the nice people have to shift into big cats? It wasn't that he hated them for it, more like he hated himself for not getting over it. But it was hard, no matter what way he looked at it. He doubted he'd ever be comfortable in the presence of a feline taller than a foot and a half again. The fashion major pulled his knees up so they pointed to the ceiling, his feet flat to the floor. It was so hard not to feel cheated at that moment. Even harder not to keep from putting a hand to his shoulder, or hand, or side, where the scars were. So he blew out a breath once, a sort of calming action, before answering. "I shift into an American Mink." Sometimes, when he asked about a person's shift, he wondered if it wasn't just easier to show them. But then, he hated shifting anyway...

And then the thunder hit. Faintly in the concert hall, but it was there. And there was perhaps the faintest higher pitch to the whirring AC and lights than he recalled from a few minutes ago. What was going on out there? Sure, it had looked like it was going to rain, but storm? And to even hear anything of it inside here... "Must be some storm, huh?" He verbalized, wondering if they should go check it out. But then, if it was thundering and windy out there, there was no way he would be heading back to his dorm in that. Besides, it had to be pretty safe inside here, right? He glanced at Selah, wondering about her take on the freak storm. Maybe they should check it out, at least...

[Selah Belle Madison]

-

"I wish someone would walk that far for me... Not that I wouldn't walk that far for the right person either, though..."[/i]

Selah knew she wasn’t supposed to hear what Felix had said, since he had said it so quietly, but she did hear it and she couldn’t help but muttering how she agreed, “Me, too…” She knew she would walk that far for someone, well her family anyway…but she didn’t know if she would walk that far for anyone else. And she didn’t think anyone would walk that far for her, no one cared that much.

But she didn’t know if he had heard her, and, frankly, it didn’t matter either way to her. She was paying a bit too much attention to the current song. Her foot was still tapping out the beat, and she knew every word, she tried not to sing along out loud. She was still listening to their conversation; she was just involved in the current song.

When she had told Felix her shift he had seemed to be uncomfortable…she wondered why, it was only a shift, not like she was actually that animal, but she wasn’t going to ask him. It’d be like him asking her why she was in an orphanage, a good question, but not something you tell someone you just met.

Selah absentmindedly rubbed the scar she had on her left wrist, something she never did, usually she tried to hide her scar, but, for some reason, it started to hurt and so she rubbed it. Felix had said his shift was an American mink, not what she expected…but then again, what had she been expecting? Had she been expecting some kind of bird or bug? No. Though she didn’t see why he was a mink…but then again, she didn’t really know anything about minks, any kind of minks. Maybe he had some mink-like quality she hadn’t noticed, or maybe, he just shifted into a mink and wasn’t anything like one…that could be possible. And it was possible he was extremely like a mink, but since she knew hardly anything about him, or minks, she wouldn’t know.

Selah heard a loud crash of thunder, and was surprised when Felix said what she was thinking. She wanted to go see what was going on, but she absolutely hated water, and storms meant rain, which meant water. She wondered if she should ask Felix if they should go check it out, it would be something to do…but, again, she couldn’t stand getting wet, or even being near water. She knew that if she was too close to a pool of water she would probably have an anxiety attack.

She knew enough about storms to know that what they were hearing wasn’t an average thunderstorm; she wanted to go and look at the sky so she would know what was coming their way. She knew that she wouldn’t be heading to her dorm until the storm stopped, unless something made her leave.

The urge to go see what was happening outside was too much, “Do you want to go see what’s happening outside?” Selah sat up and brushed the dust out of her hair and off her clothes as the song ended ♫“Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground? Well I’ll tell you, my friend, one day this world’s going to end, as your lies crumble down a new life she has found. Face down in the dirt, she says ‘This doesn’t hurt’ she says ‘I’ve finally had enough!’ ”♫

Selah hoped Felix would say that he didn’t want to go outside…but she also hoped he said he wanted to go outside, just so she could know what kind of storm it was…


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[Felix Sbarge]

He had very nearly fallen asleep before the storm hit. It annoyed him that the world liked to tease him like that. But then, it was his own fault. He shouldn't be sleeping in the concert hall, he should be sleeping in his bed. But the thought of leaving Selah alone seemed to announce his uncaring ways. Which bothered him, morally. It wasn't his nature to walk out on someone without good reason. And now with this storm... He was no water lover, so while looking at the storm didn't bother him, if it was bad, he wouldn't talk a step out there. And he liked rain...

He glanced over at Selah, the Jaguar who could only ever have been a jaguar despite what he had hoped for. But he could live with that. It was just a personality match, right? But that didn't make him feel better either. His relationship was like a boy attacked by a dog, therefore becoming afraid of dogs, despite knowing a certain dog is the nicest dog in the world and he was still afraid of it. Simply becuase instinct, self-preservation said to be careful. To be wary and cautious. But that was him by nature, mink that he was. Cautious and wary, yet ever able to hold a temper, if not for long. Not to mention his interest in fashion, as mink fur was a valued commodity in the fur industry.

But if she didn't want to ask about his unenthusiastic response to her shift, he was fine with that. He didn't mind talking about his life, even with strangers he was an open book, should they wish to turn the dedication page over. And skip the introduction, since that was always boring as all get out. Felix caught her look of confusion as to why he was an American Mink, seeing as minks weren't typically thought of as good dancers. But he decided against it, seeing as she hadn't asked and he had answer enough unasked questions tonight.

He stood up slowly, stretching and groaning, shivering a little in the vast empty darkness before them. He placed his hands on his hips, looking down one of the aisle into the entry hall at the front of the building. There were faint lights one out there, but every now and then, more than every now and them, the glow would flash brighter for just an instant. Lightning was his best guess. Lightning filtering through the windows of the entryway.

He lifted his hands above his head, stretched and yawned, only somewhat a dramatization. He wanted crash soon. Even if he had to do so on the chairs stretched before them. "Come on, then. Lets take a look," he said, glancing down at her. He caught her look of dismay and interpreted it correctly. "We won't be going anywhere, if it's as bad as it sounds." Felix smiled

[Selah Belle Madison]

-

Selah watched Felix stretch and yawn. She hadn’t noticed that he had been so tired…but then again, she had mainly been listening to the music that was playing and the sounds of the storm that tended to leak into the Concert Hall.

"Come on, then. Let’s take a look. We won't be going anywhere, if it's as bad as it sounds." [/i]

Selah saw that Felix had smiled at her, probably to try to reassure her…but she didn’t feel that reassured. She tried to return his smile, but she knew it looked nothing like she wanted it to. It probably looked more like a grimace than anything.

She relentlessly stood up, and walked down the stage steps into the aisle of the Concert Hall. She leaned back to try to pop her now aching back, but it didn’t work. She walked up the aisle, and tried her best not to want to freeze and not go toward the storm. There was something about the weather that just seemed….not normal. She hadn’t been through any major storms in her life, nothing more than a few severe thunderstorms. The wind was howling outside the concert hall, and she could just imagine what it looked like. The weather-chaser inside of her seemed to take pleasure in the idea of watching whatever storm was outside those walls…but that was only a small part of her, the rest was extremely scared by the storm. She was trying her best to act like the storm didn’t her bother her that much…but something about that storm was just…bone-chilling and eerie and…abnormal.

She was only half way up the aisle, when a giant flash of lightning illuminated the window and aisle in front of her; it was followed by the loudest boom of thunder she had ever heard. And Selah couldn’t help but scream. She didn’t mean to…who would have meant to scream like a seven year old girl? It was a reaction to the loudness of the thunder.

Selah’s hand flew up to her chest when she screamed, another reaction. She was practically panting trying to calm herself down. She felt extremely stupid and childish. She blushed at the thought of how ridiculous she must have looked, and she felt the immediate need to explain herself.

“Sorry. It’s just-…I’m not really a storm person, well not a storm like this anyway,” her blush deepened and she was glad that as far away from the stage lights as they were she figured Felix couldn’t really make out her face at all…or at least she hoped he couldn’t.

She walked up to the door, ignoring the lightning and thunder, focusing only on the small voice in her head that kept wondering what storm the school was exactly up against.

She opened the door, just as another boom of thunder sounded. This time, she jumped again. And she screamed, but not quite as loud as her other scream. She looked up at the sky, the yellow/green-ish tint it had, the shape the clouds were in, the way the wind was moving the trees and everything else. She looked at how hard the rain was coming down.

Hurricane, Selah thought, not wanting to utter the words…fearing she might be right. She slowly lifted her hand to her necklace, needing comfort more now than she felt she ever had.


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[Felix Sbarge]

He followed her down the aisle, fully conscious that she hadn't looked very enthusiastic. Which was fine, he supposed, but he didn't want to scare her, or have her get scared becuase of something they saw. Of course, most of these thoughts flowed slowly through his mind, tired as he was. Everything seemed to work sluggishly in his brain, his legs moved more on automatic, he yawned more than once, his eyes kept trying to stay closed every time he blinked.

But he was fully awake after the lightning and the thunder crash, the reverberation still echoing tight in his ears as Selah screamed. By then, screaming and thunder combined, he was as awake as if he'd chugged and energy drink. That is, if he had liked energy drinks.

He rushed up to Selah after a pause of thought, one in which his brain needed to power on, evaluate what had just gone on, run a loop of "what was he supposed to do now?" a few times, and then finally conclude that he should make sure she was okay. And then he had to remember to tell his legs to move. Maybe that was why he didn't seem to be moving... He made to put a hand on her shoulder from behind. "You alright?" he asked, just as she breathlessly answered.

Felix pulled his hand away, a little startled by her fluster words and quick explanation. Unconscious that she was blushing and embarrassed, he just figured she was explaining becuase she didn't want him to bother her. So he stood in awkward silence a moment after she finished, smiling weakly even though she probably couldn't see as it was. He shrugged then, a little slow on the response for a reason. "I know." He had planned to say more than that, but by then, it seemed weird to continue talking, especially seeing as she was moving forward again. So he shut up and cursed his sleepy brain, walking fast to catch up.

He flinched at the next round of lighting and thunder, winced as Selah screamed, but said nothing, just watched her, wondering how many times she wanted to blow out his ears and how many times he'd have to tell her it was okay. If they got trapped in here...

The fashion major gaped out the door, the wind brushing everything sideways, the rain coming down so heavily that not even the crazed forced gale could dry out the trees and grass fast enough. The sidewalks were covered already in inches of water, sunken among the senseless fire hydrants and benches and light posts. A news paper floated by down there, and Felix was afraid that if they held the door open too long, the water would swell suddenly and crash inside. So he took the door from Selah and forced it closed, staring at the keyhole lock and wishing there was a way to lock it. He grunted as he pressed it closed against the wind, leaning his back against it. That was the extent of his athletic stamina, right there.

If they got trapped here...ha! Since they were trapped here by what he presumed to be a hurricane, and glancing at Selah's face, she'd reached the same conclusion. Since they were trapped here, what we they going to do? What was she going to do? What was he going to do if she needed to be calmed down and comforted? What were they going to eat? And she better no expect him to stay awake for her... He liked her and wanted to help her...but he needed sleep, crazy hurricane or no. "We'll be okay," he muttered for all his wondering.

[Selah Belle Madison]

-

Selah was practically frozen in fear. She had never experienced a hurricane, and she didn’t want to now. She had also not noticed how much water there was everywhere…another thing she hated about storms. Felix shut the door, and Selah was glad he had. She didn’t want this storm to be real, she wanted it to just be another nightmare…but she knew it wasn’t, and it couldn’t be.

“We’ll be okay.”[/i]

Felix’s voice brought her back to reality and she wondered how he could say such a thing when she knew that the concert hall couldn’t possibly be the safest place during a storm. When she had looked up warning signs for storms a while back, she had also looked up how to prepare for them. The concert hall was boarded up, it didn’t have any emergency supplies and it wasn’t exactly away from a flooding area.

She sighed, and began to walk toward the nearest chair. She wasn’t tired, not in the literal sense…she was just tired of this storm. It hadn’t even been there for an hour, and already she wanted it gone. Usually Selah loved storms…but she didn’t love hurricanes. She cursed herself internally for not seeing the warning signs on her run over here, for not hearing the thunder miles away.

She looked at Felix, and he looked exhausted. “Go to sleep? It might help you forget about that storm…” Selah suggested, not wanting him to stay up any longer.

Sometimes she forgot not everyone was as nocturnal as her. She hardly ever slept…she never really slept more than five hours at a time. She got up from her chair, and walked back up to where the stairs where that led to the stage. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to think of something…anything that would get her mind off of the storm. She didn’t have any paper, or pencils, or even her camera with her. She hated not having anything with her. She climbed the steps onto the stage, and turned her MP3 back on…a quiet song flooded the concert hall, something that she hoped wouldn’t bother Felix if he were already asleep.

♫"Why did you have to break me down so badly this time? Why did you have to break me down so badly this time? Why did you have to run on a night like this? I thought I made it so beautiful"♫

All Angel No Wings by To Be Juliet’s Secret ,it was one of her favorite songs to listen to on a rainy day. She wanted to dance to it…it would give her something to do. But she couldn’t think of any steps to go with it. So instead, she looked around on the stage for something to do.

She walked to the back of the stage, still looking, and then onto the wings. Nothing. She couldn’t believe there was nothing to get her mind off of the storm. Nothing to get her mind off of…the hurricane. She ran her fingers through her hair again, needing something…anything to keep her mind off of the wind and rain and possible hail.

All of a sudden, Selah felt this feeling of calm wash over her. Out of no where, she felt completely at ease. She wondered why but couldn’t figure it out. The storm no longer bothered her; actually…she couldn’t care less about the possible life-threatening situation that was outside.

A new song came on…one she hadn’t heard in a long time, ♫“Too long in the same place, I’m sinking into this town. I’ve charmed the same old snakes; I think we gotta get out. Before I break away from me, this place is my lobotomy."♫

It was Now or Never by Madina Lake. She had put it on her MP3 three years ago, and had practically forgotten she had put it on there.

Now that was a song she could dance to. She tucked her necklace into her shirt, and spun herself back onto stage as she pulled her hair back up in a ponytail. She finally was able to start dancing when the song said ♫“What are we waiting for?”♫.

Selah danced with more enthusiasm that she usually danced with as she finally found something to do. She danced with a mix of hip hop and lyrical and threw in almost every move she knew.

And she kept dancing.


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