.just][like][me//__Mura

[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar waited patiently for her to finish, right as she did so the waiter arrived and put their drinks down. Murazar poured his whiskey out, swirled it gently yet almost as if it was a tradition or habit to himself, and then sipped it before setting it down.

He replied calmly, distantly, yet warmly, it was a confusing emotional combination. It was as if he had two opposite sides of himself yet they worked in conjunction. " Who said I was pretending? I don't live lies, to any degree or another." He paused a moment before leaning forward closer to her smiling, yet serious. His voice took on a more serious tone for a moment." You are all I have, I normally have no family. Its time I wasn't as alone in my entire life as I usually am."

That was something wolves couldn't even comprehend themselves withstanding. Being completely alone, for extended long lengths of time. Foxes could handle it well if they were strong, and murazar was no weakling. His only shatterpoint was living on for what? Nothing.

He spoke again now more serious, but no less himself. " Now hurting someone without provocation isn't the best idea. Hurting someone so they know to never ever mess with you in the future is something else. Try to be careful, and keep in mind even if you have no reason there is always a outcome. Try to keep all outcomes pleasurable." He was a teacher, and yet the whole thing did make sense.

Pretty much if your going to do something try to make sure in the end you benefited out of it somehow. He paused a moment to swallow a bit more out of his drink, he didn't even bother to look at the menu as he already knew what he wanted out of it. He shrugged afterward as if trying to ease a burden that didn't physically exists, yet always troubled him.

" Now, a different note a different tune. You don't know everyone at the school." His eyes seemed to smile on their own and coupled with his regular smile it seemed as if he knew a many secrets that she didn't. " I'll tell you this everyone at this school has one problem or another. Not just the students either, the teachers too. You feel more alone because no one else has taken the time, but me excepting to a degree. Whats going on with you. I assure you there are other students who have the same problem. Or similar ones anyway."

He drank again the glass was half empty, as he poured himself more he looked to her his eyes ever searching subtley. " Now lastly, avoiding me. Thats not necessarily a bad thing, almost everyone does it for one reason or another. You on the other hand have a different reason than me being exceedingly violent sometimes when I have to be." His violence was a method of control, the rule of might was rarely wrong and usually misused. He used his sparsly and only when necessary it did keep fear up pretty well when it needed to.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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Was she even listening to what he was saying? She had come up with her own answer, had only wanted to say what was in her heart -- for in the end, she wasn't a girl to lie, either. She wasn't meant for deceit. The Wolf was too forthright, and she, poor little she was hardly any better. Honest, naive, ignorant -- her intelligence didn't even reach up to those around her; what was logic in comparison to the whimsical nature of her heart? Perhaps she was too much Wolf for her to understand human intelligence, to think in terms of time, and statistics. For all she knew the sun wouldn't rise the next day. For all she knew, these words were very much true, and she was throwing away someone who had wanted to get away from her anyway. For all she knew, the world's laws were all falsifications of one person's desire.

Did it only take desire to change one's fate? Or was each little doubt a predestined map that had already been carved on her heart? With nothing to hold her back, with nothing to keep her in line, Rin was all over the place. She's decided that there is no point in courtesy if it wore a liar's face. Taking the imaginary knife in her hand, she carved the doubts from her heart, drew the strength of the Wolf, the very certainty she wanted to covet, and poured it like liquid metal over her bones. If the world was intent on being smart, then perhaps she should be dirty. Perhaps she should become bad to keep in touch with that quickly fading reality.

The truth? She was frightened of normalcy. She was frightened of being out of sync -- and yet, she wanted to be something more, something different than what they expected of her. Like a pet seeking the approval of it's most treasured person, she sought to be unburdensome, to be something better. For him, if nothing else. In exchange for his kindness, then, if he wouldn't take her sacrifice for what it was. Dauthi spoke to her as if she were this fragile vase about to plummet over the side of the table -- and perhaps, in some ways she was.

Slight, and currently bleeding, if very slowly, she exhaled, her hair tumbling forward over her shoulder as she reached for her drink, cupping her small hands around the glass. It was almost words, almost language that filtered into her -- all of that, and she was listening to the emotion; all of that and it seemed nonsensical in comparison to what she found in his scent. Nostrils flaring discreetly, the Wolf raised it's nose, rising up from the quiet currents in which she was stalking -- she came forward, gentle this time, stalking this time, trusting, yes, trusting in this situation.

No heat, no anger, but the blissful innocence of trust. A lone wolf, no longer alone -- a lonely creature filling the gaps in her heart with his scent, with the emotion that made his words real to her. He could speak, or not speak -- it didn't matter to her, as she raised her eyes again, as she watched his mouth move, as she watched the shadows in his eyes flex and sway. There was a darkness behind the cool, icy exterior, but it was a likable thing, to a creature who depended on pack for protection. To the Wolf, who required strength in her pack mates, it didn't matter that his was a past of blood and horror; that he walked a dreadful path of sin and loneliness, of meaningless as soul-shattering as the girl's guilt. He lived in his own world, but it was the strength he built up around his heart that the Wolf admired, that the Wolf approved of. Her hackles remained smooth, her fangs sheathed as she tilted her head up, hears flat against her skull as she glorified in the cold, saltiness of his burning, burning scent. The girl, as influenced by the Wolf as she was by Murazar himself, felt herself melting. She found safety in his presence, a comfortable steadiness to which she could finally, perhaps, perhaps, please, find some sort of peace.

He pushed her with his words, probed her consciousness with his looks; but it was alright, it was more than alright. Affection and trust bubbled up from the depths of her heart, spreading warmth through her veins; the Wolf rolled over onto it's flanks, squirming with delight. Whore. the girl thinks, but the Wolf merely pants laughter, her ears flicking up, interest piqued. Pack. -- that wordless emotion tastes like wine on her tongue, and it finally hits her, this slowly blossoming hope reaching into her darkest self and shattering her worries. He was alone, too. Could two lonely people make a pack? Could they run side-by-side and find happiness?

Rin was flushing, slightly, her face growing warm with the idea of this possibility, this person shadowing her side, helping her reach that ultimate bliss she killed herself to find, over and over. A small smile, quickly flitting across her lips as she picked up her glass and took a sip, feeling easier. The air around her felt breathable. The Wolf's jaws opened in a vicious grin, Mine.

Another smile, slowly to die this time as she nodded ever so slightly, "I wasn't afraid of you. Not really." embarrassment warred with the Wolf's blunt desires, and Rin found herself saying, "We trust you. I just ..." her fingers clenched around the circle of the glass, her lips pulling downward as her eyebrows tilted inwardly, thoughtfully. "... I just didn't want to, embarrass you, y'know?" Of course...of course. Embarrassment..

The waiter came as she opened her mouth, and Rin startled, staring wide-eyed at him for a blind second before realizing he had asked her a question. Flicking her black eyes over the menu quickly, she ordered the first thing she read, smiling awkwardly as she shifted in the booth seat. Without being too obvious, she slid a little bit away from the edge of the table, where the waiter looked expectantly at Murazar.

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word count;; 1035
tags;; Mr. Dauthi
OOC;; yay, finally! Music, the source of all inspiration.

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar chuckled lightly at her words and her frantic searching for something to eat as if she'd embarress the waiter. The waiter generally just seemed amused by her, and himself the waiter respected and by now curious about if in a cautious way.

He replied to the waiters question with a medium-rare steak, fries, and a refill of his drink. He was very polite and controlled, the opposite of rins cute yet still frantic shy search for food to order in a public setting.

He spoke again to rin, keeping himself as he normally was. Polite, nice, kind, yet distant and the slight chill he gave off with his tone. " I doubt very much you could embarress me. What I am surprised about is not fearing me at all, i'm normally feared in one respect or the other. And if not right then, then it won't be long before what ever didn't fear begins to."

He smiled to her as if this was a simple fact of his life that he took only enough notice of to make use of it if necessary. To him his dangerousness in general was just something to be used in whatever way it could benefit him. Sometimes it detracted, but usually in the sense of a mistake of some sort or miscommunication.

He waited a moment as if thinking absently and then spoke grinning mischieviously, " You know, I could dance on top of the table naked to prove my point of not being embarressed easily. I'll even do it for free, for you." He winked to her, he wasn't joking even though his tone sounded fairly good in between a combination of a joke and seriousness. It was only slightly hard to tell either way, but one thing was clear he wasn't bluffing.

He took another sip of his whiskey and set it down gently, he kept the oddly kind yet mysterious yet again ironic smile. Heh, good thing i'm kidding... Ok well partially, he didn't expect to table dance right then and there, but hey if dared to i'd do it almost any day. He was having a fairly difficult time reading her, but mainly that was because of the wolf in her. Otherwise she'd be as easy to read as most people.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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And if not right then, then it won't be long before what ever didn't fear begins to. No not long at all; just a little slip of the heart, a little tremor that begins in the fingers and reaches the throat. The fear strangles -- it's a smell she's gotten used to, a smell that's become an intaglio on her heart. Yes, fear -- at once delicious and terrifying. At once disgusting and yet... and yet... the Wolf's maw snapped, it's fangs flashing through her mind, cutting through all the bullshit, cutting through her disorientation. His words had hit her, deeply, painfully - a trauma of love gone astray as she remembered the feeling of that fear, that disgust, that ostracized-self branding her skin with each burning inhalation of agony. That fear, was she worthy of it? Did they deserve to tip toe around her, to hedge, to keep their eyes away?

Rin didn't remember, she simply knew -- it was an emotional scar that flared to life. It won't be long before what ever didn't fear begins to.

[/b] -- so true these words. So painful the iciness to which he detaches himself from it. To her, who cannot hold onto control, who cannot think of anything but that emotion, provoking it, suffocating in it, it is a foreign concept to her. He jokes without joking, his voice low but insistent as it pokes at her scar, as the words repeat themselves over and over in her ears. won't be long, won't be long, won't be long. Rin smiles painfully, a wretched look pinching the corners of her lips as her eyes flick down toward the table, trembling lashes giving away what she could not keep from him: this tidal wave of empathy. It stretched between them, this knowledge, this hurt. She did not know how big the gap truly was between them -- how lonelier he must have been, but ignored. All that there was in Rin's heart was this remembered agony -- those timid smiles, those resentful eyes. Her brothers hated her. Her father tried to kill her -- but didn't she deserve it?

Unconsciously she reached for the Wolf's fire, for the Wolf's strength, intertwining her fingers with her fur, burying her face in the steadiness of that warmth, that heat which licked up her cheek like a wolf's tongue. Powerful and tender -- it understood this loneliness, too, and hated it. But to the Wolf, being feared was power, was safety. In fear, she was in control, the movement of her jaws the focal point of everyone's eyes. In fear, she could stretch herself out on her flanks and sleep without worry. It was to be feared, or be fearful, in the Wolf's mind -- she did not regret the sin which stained Rin's heart. She understood the loneliness but not the cause; understood the shifting dynamics, the growing distance, the coldness of the embers which had flared up between equals, between subordinates and dominants.

Hackles stiffened under Rin's fingers; but her mind was worlds away from reality, where she was simply listening, her shoulders hunching slightly from this keen pain pinning her heart to her spine, and going right on through. The smile he sent her way was terrible, full of self-awareness; he knew fear, and what fear did -- he courted the ignominy, held it close as a shield -- as the Wolf did. Her sight blurred before her as tears rose unbidden, sudden, burning. Black pupils shrinking to pinpoints, stress knotting her heart into pieces of twisted wood, Rin gripped her glass hard; whiteness rose in between her knuckles.

You know, I could dance on top of the table naked to prove my point of not being embarrassed easily. I'll even do it for free, for you --- and he joked with her. Again, teasing her. Again, making light of his own nature. The Wolf, the damned whore, approved, but fragile, compassionate Rin, was being shattered. Is this what she would become? Would she become ice and brutality? Would she instill fear in all those who saw her? Respect shadowed that fear, but could she alienate herself so thoroughly and be happy? This was not the freedom she sought -- Pack. Ours. -- and possession tried to overtake this horrifying train of thought; the Wolf tried to bring Rin over, to claim this person as fiercely as the Wolf was claiming him: with her heart, with her soul, with her jaws. This isn't right, and tears are burning her eyes, on the very precipice of falling as she lifts her chin, as she trembles with the force of this shame, the terror of becoming so ostracized. I don't want to be alone. She thinks, in terror. The Wolf snorts, ears flicking down -- she knows, she will not be alone. If she follows this path, follows him, she would never be alone, but the Girl, but Rin, too frightened to trust outsiders, was starting to realize this wasn't enough. This icy distance would never be enough to quiet the crying that twisted her heart. Never. Never.

The emotion was unraveling, spinning out of control as the fierceness of this ache, became a hurricane that rocked her to her very soul. She was falling, spinning into this rage, this grief, this tragic cycle of fear. Palms slamming on the table, shoulders hunched, tears blurring her vision but not falling, not quite, she stared at him, completely undone. This was who she was. This madness, this need to simply let it all go -- she couldn't learn control, because if she controlled her every impulse she would slowly smother herself. She needed the freedom to feel, the room to fail, the quiet to rage and unravel - a place where she could scream and thrash and unleash this growing storm of emotion. "You're pack, you're family." the storm was rising, rising, blacking out her eyes as her pupils dilated, as the Wolf, suddenly, surprisingly outmatched by the sheer intensity of Rin's emotion, fled into the dark safety of the subconsciousness. "You're stronger than I am. You're smarter than I am." her breath caught, "You're just so much more than I am, but I will never be afraid of you. Bully me, beat me, destroy my heart ---" and the tears suddenly spilled down, trailing down her cheek as the stress of her side began to cramp from the tension in her back. Pain, pain, pain. "But I will not be afraid of you."

Her fingers clenched on the table. This is me. -- she thinks, and almost feels like crumpling under the weight of this knowledge. She cannot pretend anymore. "We protect each other. That's what family does."
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word count;; 1125
tags;; Mura Dauthi
OOC;;Muse 'sploded ._. she's kinda awkward, no? lol

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar's emotions short-circuited right when she finished, the authencity of what she said told truth. It was written all over her face and buried in the words she spoke. He for once, had no idea what to say. He just sat there, as if unable to comprehend what she just told him.

Family? Pack? Protection of each other? That and her never being afraid of him. He had never encountered that before, he finally spoke after composing himself. His voice was a mask of calm, but behind that calm was confusion, curiosity, and unexpectedness.

" I have never. In all of my life encountered someone quite like you, if we didn't have a table in between us i'd give you a warm hug. I really don't know what to say, no ones spoken like that to me." At least recently, its been a many of years since the last time someone spoke to me similar to that or with that heartfelt meaning.

He yanked back control of his emotions, he retook the icy pillar of support that he was. He was frozen terror, but not with her apparently he was life or the equivalent. He gave her joy, what a contradictory power he had. He caused terror, but not with her. Why not? He had no idea, but he did have a clue. He grasped her hand gently and held it trying to sooth her crying with his warmth and smile.

He smiled to her as the food soon arrived, it seemed their conversation had taken longer than it felt. It felt like just a short time ago they had ordered. In reality it was longer, he smiled and savored the aroma of smell that the food gave off. He took a moment before he began to eat as the waiter left without looking at either of them. As if he knew to not interfere or get himself involved.

Murazar looked to her for a moment as he let go of her hand to grasp his eating utinsels. His thoughts were about her and what to do. Now what should I do after this, walk her back? Go dance? Something? Either way, I have to solve this curiosity. I've never been one to feel very many emotions, I guess i'm changing. Getting soft.



{Music - Cry for help by Shinedown and All I ever wanted by Shinedown}

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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Did he understand what she was saying? Did he really understand the warmth, the fierce loyalty that belonged only to him? To others she must seem like a pet dog at his beck and call, coming to defend what didn't even need defending, but the love was a real thing. She idolized him, cherished him for what he gave to her: everything she needed. She didn't need to be coddle, didn't need sweet words, cajoling words -- she didn't need to be taken care of. All she ever wanted, all she ever asked for in her heart was a place to run to, a place where she could run when things were too much for her. For a hand to help her up; warmth, acceptance -- to Rin home wasn't a place, it was an emotion, and she carried it in her heart, a war cry to fight off the bad things.

She hadn't felt like that in years -- long before the Wolf came, when she was the middlest, forgotten child, neglected under the supremacy of older brothers and sisters, not cute enough to be coddled like her younger brothers and sisters. She was stranded, alone -- and when the Wolf came, when the Wolf woke and snapped it's jaws at the closest thing near it, she broke the only warmth Rin had managed to find. She had snuffed out that fire and replaced it with a burning heat of her own, louder, fiercer, a forge of heat that destroyed any who touched it. She was purity, for sure, but the vicious nature of her temperament alienated her as strictly as her sin.

Always alone, searching for someone to run beside her -- and he was here, for her, for himself, one day, hopefully. One day, she hoped he would look at her and trust her as implicitly as she trusted him; like a wounded animal, she imprinted on him, finding only his eyes to be the ones she wanted on her, his voice the only one she trusted enough to listen. She couldn't stand when he secreted himself away, when he held himself at such a distance, holding her at bay as if she were some plague that could tarnish him; her eyes swam with the tears she had spilt, the over flow of emotion that dripped down her face. How many times now? Would she ever cease crying before him?

But the truth in her heart had needed to be spoken, and though her voice had been harsh, she could not help the warmth which unfurled from her chest, the gush of affection that seemed to curl about her voice. She wanted him to know -- needed him to know how she felt. This was important; he was everything to her. The support, yes, the one she looked to for direction, yes, but also the comfort. His happiness, if he could ever find it, was her happiness. She wanted to run beside him and try to find it together. The Wolf slept, dormant under the ferocity of her want.

Emotions spiced her nose as she watched him, not daring to look away; I have never, in all of my life encountered someone quite like you, if we didn't have a table in between us I'd give you a warm hug. I really don't know what to say, no ones spoken like that to me. The gentle warmth became a fire in her heart, beating faster in her chest -- even as the waiter came, even as embarrassment took her by surprise and she kept her face averted from him.

Rin was defined by the life line of his hand on hers, of the burning touch of it that sent tingles through her. Family, she thinks, and hopes it never changes, that it could go on and on like this. She hopes he knows, as his hand falls away and he starts to eat, that she would do anything for him. Pack -- it was more than just safety; it meant protecting the heart as well as the body. Her eyes flick down to her plate and she blinks, euphoria stalled by sheer surprise. "Wh...what is it?" she asks, poking a soft tortilla wrap with her fork; liquified bean and cheese oozes out the side, over spiced with cilantro, oregano and sazon. Her nose wrinkles as the scent puffs up into her brain and sits there like a disease.

Noticing it was under a bed of white rice, Rin picks her way through it, shoving it off to the side as she tries to get at least a forkful of plain rice before the monstrosity's juices ruin even that. Such a picky eater, our Rin.

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word count;; 787
tags;; Mura
OOC;; Mura shocked her with niceness xD

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar laughed lightly and politely as she asked what her own dish was, he replied with a grin as she picked at it trying to determine how to eat it without disgusting her taste buds. " Its mexican food, tortilla wrapped around beans and cheese. What you expected a T-bone steak when you ordered that?"

His oddly sarcastic question with humor kicked into it was in a way funny, but only with his dry sense of humor it made any sense. As he finished what he said he also ironically cut up his steak and held a piece of it out to her. He smiled to her cheerfully and asked her, " Want a piece?"

Right now he wanted to see how she was reacting to him being nice and kind all the time. Did he have to roughen his attitude? Or did he need to do something else? If nothing then he'd remain the way he was. Somehow he felt like he should do something different, just a odd instinctual feeling. One of those you learned to trust. With her he couldn't exactly deviate from a caring, doting, family figure or something like that.

Right now he had to figure out what position she placed him at. Was he a brother? Or a uncle? Was he a father-figure? Or was he a gramparent figure? He also needed to know if he was none of those and she liked him in a different manner of speaking. That or as a possesion, he never could understand that. He was really relaxed about that sort of thing, but very stubborn on not being a material object.

He used his free hand to take another sip out of his glass before snagging a fry to eat on. He ignored anything extra like ketchup or bar-b-que sauce. The most he reached for was salt, it was a old habit to dash anything and everything with salt to make it taste better. Right now he didn't add it quite yet, after all if rin wanted some of the steak he'd have to hold back on it. If not then he'd heap a ton of it on it.

Or enough to gag a normal person or shifter anyway, to him it was natural. To make up for his salt intake he drank tons of water. Which in a way was normal.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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Oh Rin, poor delusional Rin with her head full of clouds; her eyes were forever on the sky, never realizing the truth around her. She filled her heart and her mind with the things she wanted to be happy, with the delusions of a world that could be, but never was. Was it any wonder she was always disappointed in the end? Any wonder that she felt abandoned by people who had never cared for her in the first place? Perhaps if she had had her nose on straight, she would be able to notice the deviations of emotion, would be able to see past the burning sensation of her own heart as it burned merrily away.

She was a pyre, in a sense -- so fierce and unconditional: it burned through everything, leaving nothing but ashes in it's wake. Faced with such intensity, was it any wonder the world passed her on by, frightened by the need in her eyes, by the temper that snaked it's way through her jaws. At once completely miserable and completely exhilarated, she sought the ultimate happiness the only way she knew how: by looking for it in everything around her.

Blinded by this, it's no surprise she took his kindness for what it should never have been taken as: permanency. She clung to his steadiness with a frightened hand, clutching at his side as if the moment she let go, he would disappear. Her tears, she couldn't let go of; her miseries, silently, deeply agonizing her. Yet here, with him -- teasing her, making light of her... as long as he knew these tangled emotions, as long as he could see them, and know them, she would be content. As long as he could still come to her and laugh at her stupidity, could still hold the rest of the world with a cold glance, while being warm to her, Rin was certain to find happiness. She was so obsessive about it, she didn't realize how much she placed on his shoulders, how high the pedestal grew on a daily basis.

Soon, he would be unreachable, and what would she do then, when he no longer saw her? When he, succumbed by an invader's eyes (ahh, foreshadower's wing, fluttering over her heart!) ... when she no longer mattered, would she still have the strength to stand?

Grinding her teeth, Rin tucked her chin down slightly. Its Mexican food, tortilla wrapped around beans and cheese. What you expected a T-bone steak when you ordered that?

[/b] -- she smiles, her eyes lingering in the cheesy mess, seeping onto even the simplistically elegant white rice which she had intended on eating. Sorrow washed through her, softly, tenderly, so distant, she barely recognized this moment's pause for what it was. Her eyes lifted, struggling against the insane whim to curl her legs up in front of her -- her side would split open again, and the pain was just starting to numb itself into it's own coma.

Instead, she listened with a half-ear, barely aware of herself, barely aware of the thoughts which come to her unbidden. Want a piece? Rin shakes her head, her hair sliding over her shoulder, "No thanks." Propping her chin up on her palm, elbow on table, she leans against it, trying to understand this sudden anxiety, and failing. If only she knew -- if only he would speak...Would she prefer to hurt now, or later? To give in to this gentle unfolding sorrow, or wreak havoc later when she has full convinced herself of him, when she has fully latched onto him like a plague.

In the end, everyone but Rin admitted the truth: he didn't want her.
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word count;; 619
tags;; Mura
OOC;; muse is acting funky.

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar pulled back his fork and chomped down neatly on the seared meat. Chewing and swallowing his food he ate almost every bite within seconds. That part of being prior military had never left him. Eat like your going to die right now.

He spoke softly setting down his fork and knive atop the plate and sipping his whiskey he leaned forward towards her as if watching her. At the moment he just wanted to see how she would react if he just stared at her. Well not really stare, more like a loving glance. What kind whether it was brotherly or fatherly or any such kind was debatable.

At the moment he just wanted to see whether she'd ignore him, stare back, speak kindly, or roughly, or simply blush. Maybe combinations of those perhaps? He then after a few minutes of just watching her in a charming manner held his glass of whiskey forward and asked charmingly as if to distract her with his voice and self. " Want to drink some?"

He was practically just messing with her mind in hilarious ways. Ok hilarious to himself and his screwed up sense of humor. What else could you possibly expect? He was of course testing her in different ways to see what her shell would accept or push away and how it'd react to different random things.

He was however not thinking on any of those levels with any importance. He was thinking in particular about her wounds. Soon he'd have to get her somewhere, properly clean to rewrap and apply the medicine in proper amounts to ensure the fastest healing and safest range of movement without hurting herself any more than the minimum.

He still had the bag next to him and his mind was thinking over the numerous ways he'd have to efficiently band them off. He didn't however know completely how large the areas or how bad they were until he saw them. He just hoped she didn't get incredibly embarressed and freak out or something and hurt herself even worse. Some people did that, damn teenagers. Always freaking out for no reason, or no good one. Hmpf. He grumbled mentally on top of all the thinking he was doing on other subjects.

A busy mind he had, one that was constantly going through hoops to accomplish other peoples goals as if they couldn't just figure out the solution themselves.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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Was it really her own fault that she couldn't control herself? Everyone pushed her, nudged her in different direction, teased her, provoked her, feared her; with so many emotions clashing around together, and she the center of it all, was it so strange that she burst? That her heart would be swallowed up by the Wolf, fierce, loyal protector? That it would shove the girl away and smile it's toothy grin? Was it any wonder she was as fucked up as she was when she pined for a man who only wanted to tease and analyze her? He was looking at her, yes, yes, in a way that she should be cherishing, but it frightened her, the way he was looking, the overly warm sensation; it was a sticky look, as if he would simply open his mouth and drool all over her, as if he would lean forward and suffocate her with this false pretense of affection. Disturbed by the look, by the strange light that was chasing itself is circles in his eyes, she merely stared back, her eyes wide, dark, ineffable as smoke as her thoughts lingered in the crevices that were bared.

What was he doing? Why was he doing this? She felt judged, suddenly, her heart beginning to hammer, the Wolf beginning to pace. What was this? What was going on through his head? She ached to reach forward, to do something, anything to take that direct attention off of her, to erase that look that would forever imprint itself in her mind's eye. His lips twitched, and her eyes dropped down to them, her face flushing, yes, yes, but not from arousal, not from those delicate girly emotions. The Wolf was awake, was pacing, pacing, it's tail lashing, it's hackles raised. What was this nonsense?

Rin ached to just cut through the tension she perceived, to hold herself distance from it: anything to keep this stuffy, sticky feeling from contaminating her skin. Something was wrong, something weird, and palpable -- the very way he was looking at her was not how he usually looked at her, was not how she wanted him to look at her. Her heart, crushed under the weight of this confusion, merely stuttered into mini-palpitations. Rin was no fragile girl, but this teasing, this provoking was not to her taste. This joke he was playing on her was not something she would approve of in any capacity: that she lacked the skills to part the tension, to see through his intentions only made it more frustrating as instinct told her, whispered to her, forced her to feel this way, without knowing why.

Discomfort made her edge, made her move her legs. His eyes pinned her, and the anger was warming her face, was swirling in her eyes. What was this? What did he want? Why didn't he just ask? Frustration, confusion, bewilderment -- these things fused together into one massive pang that ached and ached, squeezing her heart within her ribcage. She did not fear him, not really, not at all -- the Wolf was annoyed, irritated, the Girl was hurt by this. Did he play games with her? What did this development mean?

Would she feel sticky and suffocated whenever she spoke to him? The girl wanted to run, the Wolf would not let her; instead it stared out from behind Rin's eyes, as she fiddled with the fork, the uneaten food, her gaze meeting his in this awkward entanglement, this awkward dance where clumsy teasing met clumsy execution. She did not know the steps -- how was she supposed to react?

He spoke, finally, finally, breath seeming to unravel in her heart, only to be crammed back up again, Want to drink some?

[/i] Her eyes narrowed, tilted and narrow, lower lip drawing tight against the upper. Stiffness straightened her shoulders as she leaned back against the booth. "Can I go, now?" she asks, almost coolly, almost as if this strange behavior didn't drive her away. Intensity hardened her eyes, hard as they slip to the side where the bag was. "I can figure out how to do it myself."
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word count;; 692
tags;; Mura
OOC;; he completely weirded her out .o.

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[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar leaned back and closed his eyes before reopening them. So thats how she was. He took only a fraction of a second to realize a random assortment of details about her. Some useful right at the moment and some not. He replied shortly, his tone familiarly calm, slightly icy, but his words were factual and yet caring.

" I was checking your threshold of pain, physical and mental. Beyond that I was looking for certain varying things that you think and do. Some of them the wolf in you backs up and lets you down on. Right now your side would is probably hurting or at least very uncomfortable which I need to properly fix. If you'll let the wolf calm down along with yourself i'll do that as soon as we're out of here."

He made sure to let her know she was number one priority, two that he was just checking her through what he did. Yes it was funny up until the discoveries of what he found in and around her. Then it made him sick, she was close to what he was. Only that her wolf was actually a creature that could think and respond to actions. His was death, it just wanted to kill and die. Nothing more, it spoke up so often that he never could hear its voice. Only the sweet music of death.

He knew she hated the center of attention, was even shyer than he knew before, she reacted defensibly and harshly to anything of the sort that was unusual in her experience. That or being the center of attention. He guessed he'd have to bring her around to being less shy, or at least be very confident in herself and take control from the wolf. If not take control, which was the lesser of hopeful outcomes then live symbiotically with the wolf. Otherwise the wolf was a parasite.

He downed the glass and snagged the waiter by the arm as he walked by. He popped two twentys in his hand before dropping a five on the table. The meaning was obvious, that and the twenties were more than the meal. He had already calculated that in his head. The place was nice, but not that nice. He glared at the glass for a moment before standing up out of the table and offering his hand out to rin, in his other hand was the bag full of medical supplies. He spoke softly, " Lets get you taken care of and then find you something more to your taste to eat." He smiled that mask of his he wore so much. So real looking, but the eyes always gave it away.

[Natsumi Sayuri]

Was it so wrong to admire a man for his strength? To see the feral hunger in his soul -- to know that any moment he would and could kill you? That he, like she, was more animal than human. He hid it better, but why hide it at all? Where others were afraid of his coldness, she basked in it -- seeing it for what it was: an ability to survive in a world that would eat you first and spit out your bones. There was no softness, there was no gentle love: it all came with fiery passion, with fierce loyalty and a fury. These were the things she knew, the things she understood. In a world that was softening, on one side, and growing cold on the other, she was a pariah in both, her heart and mind balanced on a scale that had nothing to do with her nature and everything to do with perception.

She was shy, shy -- she was introverted; Rin was angry, so fucking angry. She snapped and snarled; she attacked and thought later. She was impulsive and foolish... but these were simply the surface actions, governed by something much sweeter, something much stronger than anything anyone ever imagined. They saw Rin and saw a psychopathic, traumatized child. They saw the Wolf and the feral girl beneath it all: they never saw her kindness, never saw the sweet way she laughed, the way she protected what was within her territory to protect. Young, too young for the emotions which bogged down the Alpha Wolf inside of her. She demanded respect, demanded to be seen, to be loved as she deserved -- but the Girl, Rin, knew the world did not work that way. Knew, each time she unsheathed her fangs and tried to prove herself that it would end in failure.

No one understood -- no one truly empathized with that wildness. Until recently. So to see his coldness, his dismissal of her unease... it was a precious thing to have found. It was delightful, beautiful -- this cold touch of his burning scent claiming her as fiercely as she claimed him. They were pack; they were family.

He tested her, provoked her, made her uneasy purposefully, but she, little, delightful she, only wondered why he felt the need to. Wasn't it alright being as she was? Was there something wrong with her? Her eyes, weighed down by the idea that he was dissatisfied, shifted away from his; there was anger in them, fury -- so keen, for he would never let her prove her worth, merely watched her. Her side did ache, and she submitted to reason, though it was in her heart to revolt against it, to gnaw off the chains of this relationship. He would use her, and discard her -- but the Wolf in her loved this coldness, basked in it like a bitch in heat. Nodding slightly, tucking her hair behind her ears, Rin rose carefully, feeling her body stretching and pulling at the wound. Grinding her teeth, she squeezed herself out of the booth and followed him, without a word -- what words were necessary? If she spoke her worries, wouldn't he just laugh? Yet his warmth was a mockery.

His lips stretched into that emotionless smile she so adored; to Rin, who had so many faults, it was pleasant to imagine him without any -- to view those traits which others feared as something strong and perfect. Was it so wrong to worship those very things he hated? "I'm not hungry." and she wasn't -- slight little thing didn't eat enough to do her any good, especially with how hard the Wolf ran her, but she was content, her stomach emptied but for the spoonfuls of rice she had eaten. Rin reached out, then, tugging on his sleeve, "Where are we going to go for this?" her eyes wide and dark, subdued, without their usual bite.

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word count;; 661
tags;; Mura
OOC;; skidoosh.

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