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Post by Sieffre De Sauveterre on Jun 5, 2010 17:51:03 GMT -4
In the back of his mind he noted absently that Fox talked a good deal more than he did. Even if he sounded like he would much rather be doing something way different than dealing with Sieffre. He blinked slightly at Murazar though, a faint flash of confusion, his mind stalling on the comment of 'leaving themselves behind.' He had a feeling that it was referring to him, a very pointed comment toward him, but it stalled his mind all the same. It was basically impossible to leave one's self behind. Because wherever a person went they were there. He wanted to ask what he meant by that, really he did, but at the same time he had a feeling that there was a good chance he wouldn't like the answer.
He shifted slightly before raising his eyes to look at the other man for a moment. Sieffre was really struggling with fitting the other man in one of the usual categories he used for dealing with people. It just was not working in the least. Just trying to figure out the hidden implications of the words alone was stalling him yet alone trying to figure out why Murazar was the way he was, to some extent, it was more so he knew what to expect when it came down to it. The less likely the person he was with would do something unexpected the more comfortable he was around them.
At least he already knew what to expect, or a few things to expect, already. Which was comforting in it's own way. Fox was obviously quite strong and fast. Probably ex-military or maybe police, but Sieffre supposed that military made more sense. With that in mind he could rule out several things that would not make sense. The last thing Sieffre needed was another person coddling him and telling him that if he'd just relax he'd find that perhaps his fears were not as bad as he had thought they were.
His head shot up at the mention of closed spaces, nearly giving himself whiplash with the movement, and stared at Murazar for a long moment. Shoulders hunched as he dropped his eyes to the ground again. After all it wasn't like the man had asked for an explanation as to why he had that fear. Only his reaction would be enough of an answer to the question anyways. Ever since he had been locked in that cage upon his first shift it had been a fear of his.
After a moment he nodded in answer to Fox's request. Even if he didn't really get close to any one it would be easy enough to stay close-ish just so he wouldn't get lost again. Sieffre raised his eyes slightly waiting for Murazar to start moving.
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Murazar Dauthi
Sociology Self Defense 103-104
The Shadow of Death
Posts: 90
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Post by Murazar Dauthi on Jun 9, 2010 16:17:20 GMT -4
Murazar simply turned around and started to walk away, he was planning on going parallel from the steep incline and then diagonally slant into the section of open area where he rested earlier. Murazar only looked once to see if sieffre was following.
After getting into the forest and out of the open area, which back in the day he would have called the 'kill box'. He started to tuck the confirmed information away on the boy being afraid of enclosed spaces. Plus as a rabbit he'd had the open air, after all he was a animal of prey.
Murazar didn't look as he paused in midstride, he saw a animal...or rather a pack of animals going in a circle around them. Murazar glanced back to sieffre and motioned for him to get closer he spoke softly to sieffre. " We're being watched, or rather they're watching me out of fear and you out of hunger. Stay close to me, at my back if need be and keep watch. Do not go in front of me or run, if you run or stray to far from me you'll be under attack. If you go in front of me they'll attack us both. Stay calm."
His voice seemed calmer than a spring day with a clear sky. He was however very serious, this was no laughing matter. He could probably take down the entire pack by himself if he had to, but while protecting sieffre? Not even possible unless sieffre could get out of the encirclement. Murazar remembered something he probably had a mixed smell of wolf and fox. The fox himself and the wolf from rin. Maybe they smelt rin and this was the pack she had beat down that other female?
Thats not good at all, I don't like being challenged by animals who can't understand just how dangerous I am. He just wished shifting took less time, otherwise he would have shifted and guided sieffre out. That and he could have sort of warned the wolves not to attack in a clearer meaning. Oh well, at least he fought better while human. Even unarmed.
Murazar spoke to sieffre calm as before, but more casual. His stance went slacker as he stood, he seemed... He seemed very relaxed, but his body when looked at closer seemed tense and ready to strike. He gave off a lethal feeling, he was the shadow of death.
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Post by Sieffre De Sauveterre on Jun 9, 2010 18:57:27 GMT -4
He followed Murazar, of course he did, as it was the best choice he had out of getting eaten or sicking with the man who seemed to know what it was that he was doing. As before he made sure that he gave the other person a good deal of room, with in reach this time, but as an effort not to pop any personal bubbles that might have been in effect. Sieffre finally raised his head as they walked watching the fox in front of him and the trees shadows. It was a struggle just to take deep breaths and attempt to remain calm.
'Just breathe... In and out...' He blinked slowly when he caught movement in the trees, low slinking shadows, the air changed again this time heavy with the scent of large animals. The air smelt of wolves. Taking a shallow breath his eyes locked on to Fox's back when he actually addressed him. Shifting slightly he managed to quell the urge to look knowing full well being able to properly see what it was would wear on his nerves far faster than not seeing them properly. Instead he nodded again.
"What are you going to do then? Short of seeing if they can climb trees there is little that I can do." He actually sounded calm when he spoke, although he was far from being truly calm, but once again he was making an effort to actually remain calm again. And while his nerves could be snapped quite easily he was able to control those impulses when the situation called for it. Although he could feel the hairs standing up at the thought of wolves and being hunted down.
While Sieffre could run, and was indeed quite fast, if it came down to him on two legs running from something on four legs he would loose. At least if he shifted he'd be on four legs and a good deal smaller and faster than he could ever be in human form. His body tensed slightly at the sound of something behind him as well.
In the back of his mind, that strange twisted little part, noted that the whole situation was technically his fault. His lips quirked at the thought. A soft chuckle escaped his lips but he brought his hands up to his face in attempt to smother the laughter that threatened to over come him entirely. While the situation really was not all that funny, being surrounded by wolves should not have been a laughing matter, that crazy little part of him couldn't help but laugh. It took him a moment to quell it, never really allowing it to get too loud, and he straightened again. Dropping his hands back to his sides. "Sorry..."
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Murazar Dauthi
Sociology Self Defense 103-104
The Shadow of Death
Posts: 90
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Post by Murazar Dauthi on Jun 11, 2010 16:45:00 GMT -4
Murazar grinned ruthlessly looking over his shoulder to sieffre, he was getting his blood running and boiling for battle. Well just in case there was a battle, otherwise it wouldn't end quite as well as it would if it happened. He spoke softly, calmly, and generally serious if not in a laid back manner. However contradictory that is, " Stay at my back and either pretend your king of the world, or your a bagged and tagged prey of mine. "
He looked forward and without warning sieffre that if he didn't act one part or the other the wolves would more than likely attack he simply strode forward. Not slowly or quickly, but steadily. His mind went somewhere else, a flashback of another time as he walked forward like grinning death. The wolves stayed their distance, even if they still eyed them silently like a possible dinner. Calculating if it was worth attacking or not since they were starving.
Boom! Went a mortar shell in the middle of his platoon of men, gun fire rained upon them and a desert storm approached. They were just on patrol from the camp and returning. He had just lost all but four of his men. He gritted his teeth as the sand kicked up from bullets and bodies falling alike.
His men screamed along with him the numbers of enemies, what sides, if they needed ammo. They fought like warriors did atop that sand dune, using their fallen allies as sand bags. The enemy splintered and fell, in a few minutes it was all over and they packed what they could before radioing base. It turned out the whole camp was hit and mostly destroyed. The man operating the radio died and the radio died next. Murazar vowed revenge, and...
As soon as it began it was over, he was already walking just out of the circle of wolves. He had been humming a ballad of death and demons. It seemed appropriate, even with his back turned to the wolves they seemed to know that he could still hear them, feel their bloodlust and hunger in the air, and almost could just turn around and attack them unprovoked. He was too much danger, despite the rabbit that was near him. It wasn't worth losing half the pack to just take a rabbit and end up losing it again possibly.
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Post by Sieffre De Sauveterre on Jun 13, 2010 1:32:47 GMT -4
He wondered if the feeling of disassociation was that of just completely loosing his mind. His body was there, yes, and there was a distinct possibility he could become some wolves dinner. But it also felt like he wasn't there and that the earth wasn't solid under his feet. All of a sudden in the span of seconds the entire reality didn't feel real any more. Somewhere in the back of his mind he noticed that he followed Fox even though all the distance that was taking up his mind. He followed but he might as well have been a puppet rather than a person rather than he being the controller of his own strings it felt more like he was being pulled by some other force that was most decidedly... Not him. It was strange to feel so utterly powerless, in a way, since even while he was afraid at least he knew that to some extent he could control the situation. Being completely out of his depth, almost out of his mind, was unnerving and hopeless.
It was a bit like the first time he had been locked up in a small space. Back when he'd gotten locked in a closet by accident. He remembered the utter hopelessness of it all. Of pounding on the door begging for someone, anyone to come and let him out. To save him. And while Sieffre knew that Murazar was merely there because he had run away there was also a sense of total loss of control. A vast distance between what he wanted to do and what he was doing. It was just doing what he was told regardless of what he felt about it and it was also just loosing a giving up a piece of who he was totally. A sad little puppet on strings.
In some way it made him hate the way he was, almost, hate that he was so compliant and willing to just bend to what another person wanted. So willing to sell himself out just for what? More time in a life where he was more of a bystander than an actual player? Sieffre let out a breath, more of a huff really, watching his feet move. Tugging him along behind the fox even if that direction was the best way to go and by far better than getting eaten alive. Some part of him just wanted to run again, even if it was suicide, just because it would be a more real action for him. In some way he wanted to feel like himself, like Sieffre De Sauveterre, rather than some frightened little creature. Like some fox kit following on his parents heels. Although some how he doubted that male foxes did anything for any litter that they produced with a female fox. Not that he had ever really done any serious research on foxes, not really anyways, other than random things he remembered in passing.
Sieffre still felt distant when he shook his head slightly raising his eyes to look at Murazar's back. The man was humming some sort of sadistic sounding song as he moved. But whatever it was he was doing seemed to be working although the pace that they were going was truly starting to bother him. He wanted to move faster and get farther away. Some point that was not the place he was currently standing. Any place was better than were he was. A place where he could at least feel like himself again rather than someone else's toy. He wondered if the spell would be broken if he talked.
"What..." His voice sounded obscenely loud even in his own ears, causing a minute wince, so he just stopped talking right then and there. After all he highly doubted that the teacher that was in front of him even wanted to hear his voice after causing so much trouble. Sieffre dropped his head again to stare at the ground in front of him, at the intersecting dead leaves and strong shrubs, watching it all go by numbly. Half wondering if something would go wrong as it usually, inevitably, did.
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Murazar Dauthi
Sociology Self Defense 103-104
The Shadow of Death
Posts: 90
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Post by Murazar Dauthi on Jun 17, 2010 17:37:05 GMT -4
Murazar looked back for a moment before he kept walking, he didn't look at sieffre he looked at the wolves. The sharp hostile glare put them at bay, it generally told them to remain where they were or simply put. Die. Afterwards he looked forward confidently and walked on, he spoke to sieffre calmly.
" Sieffre, feel free to ask what you need to or want to. Regardless of that I really hope you don't intend on running. I very dearly think you don't want to get lost again. Or do you?" If the kid wanted to get lost and eaten he wasn't going to stop him again. This was getting a bit too repetitive.
If the kid did survive it, mostly he'd applaud him but nothing more. Right now his survival instincts and logical mind needed to take over his irrational animalistic fear. One would let him survive the other would get him killed very quickly eventually.
His steps seemed to echo off the trees eerily, the shadows were lengthening, the sun had turned blood red and was closing down. They had a half-an-hour before the sun would set and the forest would come more alive than before. The rabbits fears would greatly increase and it'd be harder to find his way back.
If sieffre got lost in the woods murazar couldn't help, it'd be near impossible to find him without shifting or wandering around hoping blind luck was enough. He frowned a moment before speaking to sieffre and held out his arm to him. The wolves were still a distance away, watching in the darkness of the night growing colder. Food was in front of them.
'If only they could catch them off guard', was probably what they were thinking. Murazars voice spoke calm and icy as usual, " Hold onto my wrist unless you plan on getting lost in the dark. Those wolves are still out there, waiting for you to bolt away from me. It's in your best interest of self-preservation to stick with me and stay alive. Well unless you have a death wish, then go on ahead I won't be able to find you in the dark and you wont find your way back." He shrugged and continued to hold his arm out as he turned around to look at him. Watching for his decision.
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Post by Sieffre De Sauveterre on Jun 21, 2010 3:13:54 GMT -4
There was a big reason why Sieffre didn't bother trying to run, even though he wanted to. If he wasn't afraid of enclosed spaces he could have shifted and found a burrow to hide inside he might have had to, regardless, if he had been by himself. And as fast as he happened to be in his human form it was nothing compared to that of an animal on four legs. Thus if he lost Fox he would be, in essence, screwed over in more ways than he even wanted to consider.
He blinked when the older man actually called him by name rather than by his last name. Not that it really surprised him since the name De Sauveterre was a bit of a mouthful and wasn't exactly easy to remember in the first place. His first name was just barely better than the last name anyways if one compared how it was spelled to how one pronounced it. After a moment he changed what he had been about to ask in the first place. After all if there was some distraction he would at least be somewhat calmer and less likely to start if something surprised him.
"What... Do you teach?" Sieffre raised his head slightly to look at Murazar when he asked the question. Yet again remember that the man had demanded that he look the person that he was talking to in the eyes. Not that he had done that yet but at least looking at the person to whom he was directing words was probably better than continuing his study of the ground.
He started at the soft sound of something behind them and before he could think about it he half turned to look at whatever had been the source. And then he realized the reason that he hadn't really been looking around in the first place. The particular wolf that he was staring at, thankfully he managed not to look the creature in the eyes, seemed to be quite large much larger than his animal form and most definitely large enough to do him some damage in human form. A soft breath escaped his lips, more of a sigh than a gasp oddly, and his body just loosened up. Even he couldn't maintain high levels of fear nonstop and if this large rather hungry animal was going to try to take a bite out of him it would do him little good to have exhausted himself with his fears alone.
"You're... You were once military." Sieffre said after a moment tearing his eyes away from the wolf as he turned slightly, keeping the animal with in the corner of his eye, so he could watch Murazar as well. "Or perhaps still are... But they fear you even though you're form would be smaller. The wolves know that a greater predator walk amongst them."
Finally Sieffre reached out, tentatively, still unsure if what he said was with in the area of polite-conversation-while-surrounded-by-large-starving-wolves. If now he'd probably know as, perhaps, he would litterally be left to the dogs. He hesitated before he actually grabbed the fox's wrist if the loose wrapping of his fingers around the wrist could be called a hold.
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Murazar Dauthi
Sociology Self Defense 103-104
The Shadow of Death
Posts: 90
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Post by Murazar Dauthi on Jun 22, 2010 2:30:52 GMT -4
Murazar looked back to him as sieffre asked what he taught. He analyized him and decided that he was going to ask something else, but either forgot or changed his mind. Now curiosity had hit fox and he wanted to know the previous question. Curiosity was good to a point, and he knew when or what to stop on.
He replied casually, " Sociology, Self defense One-Oh-Three, and Self Defense One-Oh-Four. You in any of my classes? Usually my classes are fun and/or easy to learn from. Unlike most teachers classes." He seemed more friendly now, almost as if the wolves didn't exist. Either that or he was really crazy enough to disregard their very existence. Either way, it was probably better to hear him calm and casual in the current situation.
He gritted his teeth just ever so slightly, but then the slight if just barely made motion vanished. He completely ignored sieffres remark on him being military. It was obvious to some people like sieffre apparently. He decided it wasn't time yet to let anyone know he was prior military. So far just the principal knew even partial parts of his record. If that.
The predator part he did comment on however, he grinned wildly away from sieffre as he took his wrist rather loosely. He spoke in a calm tone, he made sure to keep his wild smile away from sieffre. The boy didn't need to look him in the eyes when he said this. " I am the Shadow of Death, thats what my name means and I embody it. If something doesn't fear me, then its either stupid or a friend. I earned the right to be the Shadow of Death."
He looked back at sieffre, this time his smile was genuinely nice and caring. " Don't be afraid of me though, I may be the Shadow of Death but I choose whether life or death lives there. So far i'm choosing to let you live because you deserve it. The wolves deserve death if they want to try and eat you however."
Generally he just told the lad that he was the reason he was alive, which was true. Hey he had to try and comfort him somehow so he wouldn't freak out even more by idle speculation. At least this way he could think something about him that wouldn't be odd or weird.
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Post by Sieffre De Sauveterre on Jun 26, 2010 1:19:19 GMT -4
x SIEFFRE DE SAUVETERRE DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY IT WAS AN HONEST M I S T A K E.[/font] He watched the teacher watch him wondering what it was exactly that was going through the other mans head. Sieffre probably wouldn't want to know the thoughts that Murazar had with in his head but at the same time he was curious. Because while Sieffre was hardly a talker he did enjoy listening to be people talk. He liked to know the stories that a person had because they were more interesting than his own in a way. And because it allowed him some insight to the person that he was talking to. But Fox had just... Given him nothing and now he was going to have to place his trust in someone that he was almost to scared to trust in the first place. "N-no..." He answered after a moment his word punctuated by a shake of his head. Back when he had first needed to decide on a major he had considered going down the route that would involve a ton of people when he himself was so very bad at dealing with them. The same went for something like Self-Defense he'd be more likely to run rather than stick around and learn how to defend himself. A quite part of his mind was slightly surprised that either Murazar hadn't noticed that small fact or was just asking to keep him calm... Probably the latter though. "Probably be absolutely pathetic at self defense..."He didn't want to hurt people either, which would make something like defense rather hard, or animals. He cast a glance toward the wolf that he had spotted earlier. This time it was a little bit closer than before back on it's haunches still watching them and still wary of Mura at least. But bolder for some reason. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the faint feeling of fear crawling around in the back of his throat. Sieffre looked over at Mura when he started to talk again taking a step back out of reflex from that tone of voice. And while he was tired he could feel the ever common feeling of fear intensifying with every shallow breath he dragged in to his lungs. The more sane part of his mind supplied the fact that Mura hadn't snapped his neck and probably didn't plan on it so he could calm down. The less rational part of his mind really didn't like the previous tone of voice after all it was so close to the tone that those who had tormented him as a child. Colder, yes, but it still held the threat of pain. It made him remember that he shouldn't forget that if Murazar wished him to be he'd be dead probably before he would even know what was happening.[/size]
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Murazar Dauthi
Sociology Self Defense 103-104
The Shadow of Death
Posts: 90
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Post by Murazar Dauthi on Jun 30, 2010 1:31:12 GMT -4
Murazar chuckled lightly, he was being confident, calm, a pillar of support if necessary. To the wolves they saw it as if they weren't a threat at all, which belied the fact that he was more dangerous than they. He replied to his answer and comment kindly, "Self-defense is something you need to know if you can't run. To me the first alternative to fighting unless its about pride or duty, is that you need to escape harm. Theres nothing coward-like about that. Its perfectly understandable." Maybe that would put some confidence in Sieffre to hear that running wasn't the cowards way out in a fight. He paused a continued as the sun setted and the darkness came. He still didn't miss a step since his eyes had adjusted to the encrouching darkness. " Fighting is only necessary when you can't run. You have to have a level head and fight to survive. Desperate, angry, scared, calm. Its all the same, so long as your body remembers what to do when you need it to work. I could teach you during the summer if you need it, it might help against your fears anyway. "He stopped and looked back at sieffre his eyes searching his face. He was getting worried when he smelt fear and Sieffres breaths' were getting shallower. He asked concerned with Sieffre and the wolves. If he was showing fear, depending on how the wolves took that depended if they attacked. If they thought Sieffre feared them they would attack, if they thought he feared murazar. Then they probably would back off more. He spoke softly yet the ever-invading calm came too, " Calm down, calm. Take it easy, in a manner of speaking we're running away. Not fast, nor slow. Just right. I'm right here if you need or want me. Now I need you to just follow me. In about a half mile or so the wolves should leave us alone and another mile after that and we should be nearing the school. Its not far, just walk on with me. Talk if you need to take your mind off everything. It doesn't matter what, just start where your comfortable with."
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Post by Sieffre De Sauveterre on Jul 1, 2010 23:46:51 GMT -4
SIEFFRE DE SAUVETERRE * I'LL MEET YOU ON THE O T H E R S I D E
He had restarted his mental count, backwards as always, in an effort to try and stay mostly calm. The repition of numbers soothed him far better than several things but music was usually his crutch. Listening to music had always been his way of coping with his considerablely large amount of fears. It wasn't like he didn't know other methods to cope but more he had found them ineffective although if he was calm he hated it the repitition of movements as it was rather annoying, but when afraid it was calming. Again he found himself paying attention to the tone Murazar used while talking, more than the words themselves, at least someone sounded somewhat calm. It helped.
"My... Fears?" He found himself parroting the words back to the older man wondering how in the hell learning self defense could translate in to his fears at all. Granted he had a fear of being disliked, which stemmed from the thought that he was a waste of space, if no one hated him then his position in the world was safe if someone disliked him he no longer deserved to be alive. Open spaces because they were too large and closed spaces because they were too small. There were dozens of others as well, new places and people, and of course his rather obsessive tendencies that for the most part he tried to hide. His fears had started back in his childhood, really, and he doubted even someone trying to help him would ever get him out of the place he had trapped himself in. "How would self... Defense help that any?"
He stumbled several times in the dark, his night sight was good but he usually only made it safely from point A to point B because he memorized where things were, and while being in the dark didn't really scare him the fact he just couldn't see through Murazar and see what was coming was a bit discontenting for him. But he kept quiet, mostly because he was too preoccupied with trying to drag oxygen in to his lungs and keep him from just fainting on the teacher. The world pitched slightly, for him anyways, when their movement just stopped. Again Fox was talking to him in a very steady type of voice, although Sieffre failed to truely grasp any of what was being said, he nodded slightly if only to show that he was still there... Sort of. Everything had narrowed down to drawing the scaint amount of oxygen in to his lungs. Right up until the moment that his eyes rolled upwards and his body pitched back in a faint. [/blockquote] ---------- Tagged: Murazar. Outfit: ... Word Count: 447 Images: Edited By Me Lyrics: Cinema Bizarre Layout: Mine OOC comment: And Sieffre thus faints. ._. Sorry Mura! [/right][/font]
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