Books Can Release Stress Too || Natsumi Sayuri

[Luke Bowers]

* LUKE ( OLIVER ) BOWERS ,

It was like a nightmare. All of it was just a nightmare. And it wasn’t even his. He wasn’t even going through it. It was hers, it was driving her under, pushing him away. But in a way it was one for him as well, watching her suffer and feeling powerless. Helpless. He wasn’t even sure if his words were getting through to her. Could she hear them? Could she understand what he was saying to her? That was, if they had ever made sense in the first place. What he had said went off from the pieces that he had managed to put together, or what he thought he had put together. How accurate they were…that was another thing altogether. He could feel her body shaking beneath his, struggling. Not against him, but against something inside herself.

“Don’t listen to it, Rin.”

Whatever “it” was. Whatever was trying to change her, trying to make her go after this girl. Punish her. He could remember looking into her eyes before. This wasn’t her own doing. She wasn’t convincing herself to kill this girl. But he didn’t know what was. His hand fell to her hair, gently stroking it, trying to calm her down. He watched her hand reach out, clamping down on his shirt, holding it tightly. And he let her. The way he had seen her earlier and the way he saw her now were completely different. Before she had been so strong, so bold. Now she seemed so vulnerable.

“You’re still strong. You just have to find it in you.”

These words, meant for his head, slipped from his mouth unwillingly. This was the first real time he had ever needed to comfort someone. There was never a situation like this or close to it that called for his help. It was probably not his strong point, but it never took away how much he cared. There had to be something he could say or do to help her. He hugged her to him as she began to cry, her tears soaking through his already damp shirt.

"I'm sorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry."

“Don’t cry,” he whispered into her ear, moving his hand back up to stroke her hair. “Everything will be okay, I promise.”

A knot was forming in his own throat as his own eyes threatened to water. How could he be affected like that by someone he had just met? Even with the promise of friendship, it was strange. He had never cried over someone else crying. He had always thought it was just weird and uncalled for. But that was because he hadn’t understood. That was nothing new. It seemed nowadays all he ever said was that he didn’t understand. How could he tell her to trust him, when she had been hurt before? That was something he understood. A broken trust. But he was taking a chance on her, so he wanted her to take a chance on him.

“Don’t give in.” His fingers ran through her hair slowly, gently. “You can fight it.”

Luke rocked her against him, still unsure of what to say that would help. If there was anything he could say that would help. Whatever was terrorizing her. Tearing at her. Dragging her under. Whatever was putting her down, tempting her, driving pain into her. She could do it. He knew she could. She had to. He didn’t know what would happen if she didn’t.

“Please, Rin. Don’t give in.”

tagged , Rin
words , 577
lyrics , run this town - jay-z
notes , So do I, lol. I hope this is okay. I honestly haven't had to rp something like this before. Too bad, since it's kind of fun, haha.
credit , rora @ hos

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[Natsumi Sayuri]

+ NATSUMI SAYURI +
•••CALL ME RIN•••


My beautiful liar why are you crying on your knees?
You've crucified yourself and now denial is rising...rising...

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Each touch was agony on her skin, sensitivity heightened, bristling beneath the surface as the Wolf stalked around her, it's jaws agape, it's eyes cold and ruthless. Get away? How can you run away from yourself? How can you run from what you are? Monster. Demon. Freak. How could you live with yourself -- and she remembers water, cold and brutal as she wakes from unconsciousness to drowning. She flails, she tries to get up, but there is someone holding her down. The water is dangerous as it slips into her mouth, into her lungs, as black spots dance across her vision: she struggles, harder than she thought she would, harder than she had ever struggled before, but that hand was steel on her neck, holding her, pressing her underground as the water sloshed around her head, as she choked on her own hair. How did she survive? Who pulled him back from killing his daughter? No one ever told her -- she woke to dismal blackness, locked in a closet - and so her new life had commenced. Demon. Mongrel. Cur -- kicked around, snide remarks; they hated her, feared her, destroyed her with their eyes, wanting her to submit so it could never happen again. You killed the only person who ever loved you, and she chokes on this guilt.

It comes back every time, visions of him smiling and laughing -- how old would he be right now? What if that were him? Would he come and hold her hand? Would he jump on her and hug her until she could no longer feel her pain? But it is all lies, all of it a dismal comfort, for the dead have always been glorified, and the living were always measured against immeasurable nobility. She lived for the Wolf, would live for the Wolf -- but the Wolf is going too far, bringing her so far out of reach of who she was, that it stretched her taut -- it broken her under the weight of this abnormal desire to kill the thing which got between her and safety.

She didn't know when she ceased clinging to the front of his shirt, when her breath, too long inhaled gushed out in a cough of misery; Rin was barely aware of the action, barely aware of her arms going around him, clinging to the wet scent of him, the reality of him. This isn't real, this isn't real, but the Wolf is panting laughter, it's tongue lolling out as it's eyes skewer the rawest parts of her. Isn't real? Three years ago she had said the same thing; will she make the same mistake twice? Little did Luke know; strong? She was merely out of control. She laughed, she flung herself with all of her might against anything that went against her, but her heart was a fragile thing, made of glass and held up by tiny strings. The slightest breeze against her heart made her shudder and crumple; the slightest little look from a trusted idiot will bend her where fangs only enrage her.

Distinctions must be made, and she protects herself, closing off her precious heart against outsiders, seemingly strong, seemingly bold -- simply indifferent to their eyes, indifferent to anything but her own selfish whims.

His fingers slide through her hair and she trembles beneath the touch, unwilling to pull away, to let go of the last reality she had. The Wolf was a cruel creature, dismissive and disinterested in her fears: the Wolf didn't know what fear was. It snapped it's fangs about her head, circling her slowly, tasting her fear on it's tongue as it slowly cut off everything, everything. Each little ounce of control, each little care in the world; soon she would ache for the change, soon she would submit simply for the relief of letting go of this world. She would be able to run away from these feelings, these painful memories. Never look back, -- it is the Wolf which whispers into her heart, filling her mind with it's presence.

Rin tilts her face slightly, burying her face against the crook of his neck, absorbing the wet scent of cat underneath the natural smell of human. She holds it close, her body quivering; he does not want her to give in. Each touch of his body tells her to hang on, to work through it -- but can she stop the Wolf? No...no, she can't. It is too powerful, it has always been powerful, but she could keep it from hunting. Slowly her courage rebuilds itself, her fingers creeping, creeping reaching out to the Wolf, entangling her fingers in it's fur, her face against it's dripping, vicious mouth; it's breath smells of stagnant blood and death, but it's okay, it's okay. Luke gives her courage, where solitude merely feeds her fears. "I don't want to be alone." and does not realize her lips move, that her tongue speaks this most terrible truth. I don't want to be alone. Her face lifts, looking at him, sanity somewhere, somewhere--- a glimmer of guilt, of presence that is purely Rin, purely the little girl.

"I...won't do it..." she says, softly, almost inaudibly as she straightens, feeling a heaviness where he touches her; eyelids flicker, her face spasms for one brief moment before she leans forward slightly, Trust me -- but she does not say it like she wanted to.

A heartbeat later the Wolf is clawing itself out of her chest, carving it's way out of her as her spine arches and she pulls out of his hold; fur rolls, the sickening crunch of her bones forcibly realigning. Cruel Wolf, making the change a punishment. Buttons snap, threads break as cloth rips from her jaws, her ears perked upward, her face contorting as fangs protrude, as her narrow body thickens, fills out, larger, larger, pants coming undone under the force of the change. She snarls, the Wolf, triumphantly, her fangs glimpsed under rolling black lips, black gums, black nose -- blackest of black, midnight hued and sinful; she breaks free of her clothes and coils her muscles, bursting free of the farthest aisle. The exit, the black thinks, barely a thought at all.

Run.

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word count;; 1043
tags;; Ollie
OOC;; >__> she's not going to hurt anybody, no worries ;3 Might be the end of our brilliant thread though.

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[Luke Bowers]

* LUKE ( OLIVER ) BOWERS ,

The pressure released from his shirt as she let go and her arms wrapped around him. His own arms around her. Holding her tight, but gently, hoping it gave her a sense of comfort. A beacon of light, of warmth, out of that cold darkness. Everyone needed someone. At least one person to be that for them. Behind everything going on, he could hear the rain still going outside. If it was alive, had emotions, had a heart, would it feel bad for making situations more dreary? He hugged her to him as her head lifted, her face burying itself against his neck.

”I don’t want to be alone.”

“You’re not alone.” He takes a deep breath as she speaks. As she looks up at him, into his eyes, and his into hers. His heart rate speeds up –as if it could anymore- as he looks into her. He nodded slightly, almost unaware of the movement. Neither did he. “I’m here.”

"I...won't do it..." Her voice was quiet, soft. A sigh of relief. No, relief too soon. She was pulling away, rapidly shifting before his eyes. He reached his hand out towards her, trying to stop her, but it was too late. Her clothes were ripping under the change, falling to the floor in front of him. The buttons snapping under the pressure against them, falling to the floor almost as if in slow motion. She was transforming, changing into the wolf, her body conforming. And then she was running towards the exit.

“Rin, wait-“

Too late. It was too late to say or do anything. She had quickly passed the aisles and to the exit, running out of sight. She had said she wouldn’t do it. He believed her. But why did he still feel as if he had failed? She had still run away. Part of him had felt that he should have chased after her, but once outside he would have lost her. It would have taken him too long to shift to see where she had gone. He picked up the nearest book and threw it, angry. Frustrated. He pulled his legs to him and rested his head on his knees. It was now he could hear the rain picking up again, pounding onto the roof, echoing into his ears. When he looked up again, something caught his eyes. He reached forward and pushed the clothes that were concealing it.

It was her cell phone. He picked it up, hesitating before looking through her contacts. Only one person was listed: Murazar Dauthi. Mu. His eyes widened slightly. Murazar, as in the Self Defense teacher? The teacher he had for fifth period. He lifted his head at the sound of someone coming closer and scrambled to pick up her clothing. He stood up just as they rounded the corner. The librarian again. She must have heard him throwing the book. He watched her look around at the books and then to the torn clothes in his hands. She opened her mouth to say something, but he just clenched his jaws and moved forwards.

“Fuck off,” he said angrily, pushing past her and towards the exit.

tagged , Rin
words , 543
lyrics , run this town - jay-z
notes , Guess it couldn't have gone on forever, lol.
credit , rora @ hos

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